Worried girlfriend has alcohol problem

The work drink story I’d take with a pinch of salt. Likely to just be something she’s made up to try get a few laughs but was ill-thought out.

As for the drinking it’s hard to say really. At 28 if you’ve not got kids or much responsibility yet then still drinking often isn’t all that uncommon.

I’m a similar age and in a friendship group where nobody has kids or is married yet, so drinking at social events is still pretty standard as is meeting at pubs most weekends or going to each others houses for a drink. Other people the same age I know of who have settled and have children now don’t tend to do this anymore. Sounds like she just hasn’t grown up yet but unless she’s drinking a lot at inappropriate times or alone etc I don’t necessarily think it means she’s got an alcohol problem.

if hes asked you to tell hhim about potential problems you notied just tellhim youre concerned about your ddrinking

This was me for a long time. You can't do anything I'm afraid unless she sees it as a problem.

If I was you, I’d stay out of it. If I was your DP, I’d approach my sibling with the issue soon and before things get too serious/intertwined.

Of course this depends on how you think your BIL would react - is there a chance he’d pull away from your DP, or even go back and tell her everything? Or would he take it on the chin and understand where he’s coming from?

She’d be better off with a Chilly’s water bottle, you can’t see in and the lid screws on 😆

Kids aren’t stupid, they’d sniff out some wine in a mug easy enough.

Yeah fair enough.

I think they probably did it in the bathroom.

I would say most normal people avoid doing things that are gross misconduct.

If you aren't rat-arsed on three bottles of wine, you have a serious problem.

A mug of wine in the classroom with the accomplice TA? Aye, right then.

They weren't doing the coke visibly in front of the nursery class though were they?

I have no idea why you'd think I'm assuming they're all angels?

I just don't think they're stupid enough to fill a mug with wine, and neck it in front of the school children, and then go and breath their alcohol fumes all over the staff and parents.

The last time I checked, a line of coke didn't smell? 🤣

told me she sometimes has a mug of wine in the afternoons in class with her TA.

I have been teaching a long time and this has always been a sackable offence which makes it very difficult to believe.

I think it’s easy to normalise drinking 2-3 bottles of wine in our culture (assuming you’re in the uk) as some people have done on this thread, I used to easily manage this especially if at a day event but actually it’s excessive, took me a long time to realise this however I now do not drink at all

2-3 bottles of wine over 9 hours at a wedding is hardly unusual surely? I could easily manage that without becoming obnoxious (that's probably just her personality coming through!)
The teachers I know are well known for their drinking, as other posters have said she could easily have drank the wine on a Friday afternoon after the kids have left.
I think you just don't like her and this is what you have chosen to focus on as it seems morally acceptable to show your disdain for her drinking habits.

This made me laugh because I know Nursery Nurses who did lines of coke on their lunch break before their Christmas night out.

Why do you think teachers wouldn't do this? They aren't angels. Just normal people.

@NeverDropYourMooncup not in any school I’ve worked in… we all used to pay into a social fund and have drinks one Friday a month in the staff room. I know a few schools that do this. In the same vein if we have to stay late to do a big clear out HOD would get us beer/pizza for while we worked. It was only after the kids had left and no one got wild or did anything embarrassing.

Im just saying it’s easy to imagine as I’ve seen staff drink at school. Especially on last day of term. It was usually provided for by my school.

Wait, what?

Many schools and trusts have an explicit rule now that on no circumstances is alcohol to be consumed in school hours or on a school site (with the exception sometimes for an event if they aren't working on it, but not always). Obviously as a result of bitter and embarrassingly public experience.

Think about it logically for a second.

Even if by some really slim chance no-one smelled the stench on her breath and in the class, why would she put it in a mug and not a water bottle with a screw on lid?

I don’t think one can dismiss the mug of wine in the classroom as a ‘joke’. The 2-3 bottles during the day is a lot, sounds like she does have a drink problem and therefore the mug of wine in class can’t be ignored.

My thoughts exactly- she's having you on.

@HelenaWaiting well, OP said behaved 'extremely obnoxiously' for me that's tantamount to abusive?

@BobbyBiscuits Drinking three bottles of wine and then getting abusive to the family of your new boyfriend is not a good look.

Nobody said she was abusive.

Bil was drinking wine with her, 3 bottles over 9 hours is one large wine an hour.. a lot, yes, but I've definitely been similar on a weekend/wedding!

I very much doubt she's drinking wine with a ta in school but may have an after school catch up where they go and have a drink midweek!

You sound very judgemental of her and of your bil tbh!

So why are you here? What do you want from us?

She'd be fired for drinking wine in class. Ridiculous. I take it she was drunk when she made that 'admission'?
Drinking three bottles of wine and then getting abusive to the family of your new boyfriend is not a good look. The fact she brags about drinking makes me think she may be more of a binger than a daily drinker?
Most alcoholics play down their level of drinking, at least conversationally, as they feel the need to continue and fear someone trying to stop them drinking. If she doesn't want to cut down or quit then there's little anyone can do.
It's down to your BiL to have a chat about how her drinking makes him feel, and if he's concerned for her health then say so. There's a chance she may be willing to try and do something, with support. Or it could be he simply can't handle being with someone with that level of alcohol use. Which would be understandable.

She drinks in front of the children? Or on a Friday Avo when the kids are gone? (This is fairly common teaching having a Friday drink at school)

I read it as two thirds of a bottle but 2-3? And she was still standing? Wow, that’s a very high tolerance for alcohol. Which suggests she has been doing it a lot. For quite some time.
She does have a problem with alcohol, i am
sure she will get in trouble at some point and lose her job if school finds out her little secret. That’s another red flag, she cannot get through the day without a mug of it. Working with children.
I’d jokingly raise it with her partner but leave it for him to figure it out.