DS 17, who's deluded- me or him??

Your DS has now discovered he's not going to succeed through academic channels. Whatever front they put on, it can still be a shock to realise you're not academically able (it's not just hard work you need) and your options will be limited because of that. Like a lot of his generation, he believes the twin lies that you can be anything you want to be if you want it enough, and that exceptionalism and wealth is there for the taking. This is a belief that becomes hard wired and is only lost by experience. So you need empathy with that.

He'll learn and soon realise that a better job/longer hours will make a big difference to his quality of life. You can help speed that up by not subbing him. Provide the roof over his head and his food, ideally for token board, but nothing else and when he complains about his lot, gently steer him towards the obvious answer. Stay neutral about the tik tok thing. Don't encourage but dont be negative either. It will only end up with him accusing you of being 'unsupportive'.

Yeah this. He's not completely deluded, I know people who have launched very successful careers via TikTok. However, they had specific skill sets they could use outside of TikTok to create businesses and used TikTok as a launching pad. Yes, you can forge a lucrative career just from TikTok but it's rare and it involves massive dedication to creating good content. Its not just posting the odd thing here and there.

If he wants to continue TikTok he needs to have a back up plan for sure. It would be very very unwise to base your entire income/career off TikTok.

He’s not going to be the next TikTok sensation but he has time to work that out for himself. I don’t think he needs his Mum to spell out to him that his dream is not going to happen. At least he’s working somewhere.

He probably has quite a bit of good knowledge and experience from this already and clearly a natural interest in this sort of content creation.

I would be encouraging him to get on a course in something along the lines of digital marketing and / or an apprenticeship. There are proper careers in this area, maybe it won’t be his own tik tok channel that makes a decent living but he could manage social media accounts of their companies, work in paid digital advertising etc

He’s deluded, but I’d be more annoyed at him looking down his nose at others, he needs to remember that we need people in all types of jobs to make the world run ! From cleaners, to retail assistants, to teachers and engineers.

The one person I follow on instagram who makes money works more hours than an average person, to make content, to promote other businesses etc. she’s away on holiday just now and has has to film a fortnights worth of videos for her team to release while she’s away.

Some people do make a living from tiktok. Not a lot though. The odds aren't really in his favour.

He needs to get a full time job, I wouldn't be happy with him working only part time if he is not studying or doing anything else.

I agree with this but I think it needs a little more subtlety to avoid problems. He’s a child until he’s 18, so I suggest that you have a gentle discussion with him about what happens when he becomes 18: you don’t want him being like this into his 20s and 30s, but there’s no need to say so. Tell him that once he’s 18, if he wants to stay in the house you want him to pull his weight as an adult. Discuss with him what tasks he’ll do and write a chart, for you and for him. You’ll need him to pay for his food, which you’ll be prepared to go on cooking. You’ll expect him to eat a meal with you x times a week because you’re not running a hostel, this is a family home. I suggest that you don’t mention TikTok, it’s a discussion about responsibilities and contributions. Mention, perhaps another time, that you’d be interested to know his target market and what his business strategy is. Ask, just be interested. Look up short courses that he could attend locally in business and media?

Yes, there is good money to be made. It's madness. (I'm 50!) I have a channel that I make videos for (not too too but it all the same) and i can't believe I'm potentially going to be earning more than my real job if it continues to grow. The world has gone mad. If he's any good, feel free to DM me and I can give you a top tip.

It's fair enough to have dreams. He's holding down a job, albeit p/t, and already monetising his TikTok posts, albeit modestly.

I think it's important at this point that you charge him, (just a token amount), for his lighting, rent, water, TV services, so he keeps his head in the real world. Otherwise his wages are essentially pocket money for spending on fun stuff and that's not how life works.

There's potential there, though. He could still have a career in social media but perhaps in communications for a young company? I'm sure once he sees that a career will give him a £20-something-k a month salary instead of £50 he might change his mind!

Get him to enrol in a marketing course part time at least. If he can’t ’make it’ himself then he can use the kills he’s developed for SM marketing or SEO or whatever.

He's not deluded in thinking it is possible to make money via SM like this.

However if he has been doing it for 2 years and is still making less than his phone/internet would cost a month, assuming he were paying for it... and he hasn't got himself some skills in video editing, media/marketing etc...

Then he is very much deluded if he thinks he is going to make money out of it.

But even for those who make money out of it, you need a fall back, a second stream of income, and skills. It is not a reliable earner, it can crash overnight!

He doesn't sound like a nice person

I hope you're charging him a proper amount of board to teach him to live in the real world.

To be fair £50 a month is a good start.
What's his niche area?
Maybe have a look at Gary V on instagram who encourages this type of enterprise.

My DD does similar but it's backed up by a photography degree and a very humble attitude, she doesn't make a huge amount from it but it supports her photography in a niche industry (4 x4 trucks not some weird foot fetish!) has allowed her to travel all over the world and meet amazing like minded people.

What are his videos?

One of my stepdaughters did extremely well with a makeup/beauty channel on YouTube for a few years as a side line/hobby as well as her being a student.

She no longer does it now that she has a family but at the time it was quite lucrative.

She is exceptionally attractive which may have been the main appeal.

What has your son got that will make his social media presence stand out more than anyone else Malians similar content?

I do know someone whose young DD was obsessed with Tiktok. She accumulated a huge following, but then did a traditional degree in English and then a digital marketing degree, and now works for a marketing agency. So she backed up her obsession.

Agree with the poster above. I currently work with young people, many of whom aspire to be the next internet sensation. I miss the days when children wanted to be astronauts and ballet dancers (similarly out of reach for many but at least required dedication and commitment).

Where your son is going wrong is that he looks down on his colleagues. Shameful. He’s not going to influence people with an attitude like that. Every time he makes a disparaging comment, address it. It’s unpleasant and it’s worth reminding him that we can all live without Tik Tok influencers but without shop workers we are screwed.

Get him doing TikTok videos of a pressure washing / rug cleaning job.

He does need to change his attitude looking down on others though. That is unacceptable.

I agree with the ppl who said he's not deluded, because it is possible to make money off social media. However, if he really wants to pursue that whilst keeping his job, of course, he should work on his skills, digital marketing, etc,so as to be well-prepared for it.

He is deluded.

But you're wasting your breath telling him.

Lots of late teens /early twenties think they are going to be the next big thing in acting/TikTok/screenwriting

Give him a couple of years and he'll start to realise he isn't going to get anywhere.

Charge him rent in the meantime (and if you can afford it, save it).

Most of them grow up.

I've had one (a little older now) go through similar. Big dreams, no education, looking to get rich quick.

As you well know, at that age they know everything and you know nothing.

So I played along a bit - agreed with him that he's very creative, he has great entrepreneurial spirit, he is destined for big things. But I kept reminding him that to succeed in business you need capital and an alternative income stream while you establish yourself, and you need a fall back plan.

With that in his mind he has pursued an apprenticeship so he can earn and save lots of money to get started - he still wants to go out and make his fortune but is now thinking about the opportunities his trade will give him.

He's deluded.

I know multiple young people who make a living on TikTok and other social media platforms. Every single one of them works way more hours than their peers in traditional jobs to earn a similar wage. The only ones I know making a killing are on Only Fans, and that may not be something you wish for your DS.
As a PP said, it involves an enormous amount of time and energy and focus to develop the engagement and get the followers and then get the brand deals. If your DS has been doing this for 2 years and is only making £50 a month, then he needs to do things drastically differently to make a living at it.

Having said that, he will have to figure this out himself and no matter how wise your advice is...he's not going to listen until he has a frontal lobe.

I know one young (28) man who is a musician and works in the Social Media arena (posting TikToks and Insta Reels) earnestly asks my advice all the time about his career choices and spending priorities and then very diligently does pretty much the opposite of what I advise. He did however get a university degree before embarking on this path. He is finally this year starting to make a living with music/social media that does not need to be supplemented by restaurant work.

You might want to suggest that if he's not a student, he has to earn enough at his "real" job to contribute to rent and food while developing his social media career. As others have suggested, he may want to try for a job/apprenticeship in digital marketing or something similar.

He can always go to college/university as a mature student if he needs/wants a degree later.

That posted too soon

He can join up to do a trade.The army pays for it.

My son has trained as a mechanic with them and he'll also get a HGV license too.This means he has employment prospects when he leaves.

When they say the army turns boys into men they're not joking;my son has grown up so much and it's been the making of him.