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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not want to move up north

673 replies

time2changeCharlieBrown · 25/08/2024 21:02

My dh has been offered a great job opportunity a high payrise
the catch is we have to relocate up north near Leeds
so my main concerns is the weather
I hate winter, rain and snow and up there seems to get more?
also I joined a few online community groups recently to get a feel for it and learn about the areas and what’s around
all I have mainly seen is awful things about robbery’s and car theft and violent crimes! It’s really putting me off!
we have a son who is not too far off an age to go clubbing and for nights out and even though he is 6 foot 5 he’s very striking looking mixed race (Greek) and I worry about him being a target and our eldest daughter too also very striking ,but both quite naive as we currently live in a small village and don’t often go into big cities and they are at small schools.
my dh is from a different town up north not too far from Leeds still has friends there and says it’s fine and all city’s are the same and the kids will be fine as not in any gangs and unlikely to be. I am a worrier so Aibu to not want to move?

OP posts:
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DarthTater3 · 27/08/2024 18:03

Could you move to a village near York and hubby commute to Leeds? York much safer for nightlife.

jasminocereusbritannicus · 27/08/2024 18:01

You’re being unreasonable! Especially as to the weather. It’s maybe a couple of degrees cooler than the south, generally.
Leeds is central for everywhere ,and some of the countryside around Leeds is beautiful. My daughter teaches in Leeds, but lives near Selby, N. Yorks) I live on the Yorkshire Coast.( I’m from Hertfordshire originally… moved 20 years ago).
come and find out . Yorkshire, as a whole ,is a wonderful area.

Middleagedspreadisreal · 27/08/2024 17:50

Leeds is a great city.

Original poster
time2changeCharlieBrown · 27/08/2024 16:58

justasking111 · 27/08/2024 13:46

Yes. There are geographical reasons for this. Manchester is in a bowl weather-wise and gets a real pasting. Huddersfield has similar problems. It's all very scientific.

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This is probably why our family near Manchester are always saying how bad it is

OP posts:
Original poster
time2changeCharlieBrown · 27/08/2024 16:56

MichaelAndEagle · 27/08/2024 12:06

To be honest a lot of posters are being lazy and assuming OP is from London or the South East when she is actually from rural SW England.
So assumptions are going both ways and OP has since agreed she was initially being negative.

Absolutely 😂
and I am going to visit
and hope to be very pleasantly impressed

OP posts:
SeatonCarew · 27/08/2024 15:32

Simonsignoret · 26/08/2024 16:44

Some areas are deprived in Leeds. You might never have been and witnessed them personally but they do exist.

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Some areas are deprived virtually anywhere, that does not a "deprived city" make.

And given that I have two degrees from Leeds University, have never left the general area in forty years since, and used to work for the City Council in a fairly senior capacity, I rather think you are teaching your grandmother to suck eggs.

justasking111 · 27/08/2024 13:49

eggplant16 · 27/08/2024 13:06

Do you think there really is a difference between the 2? ( genuine question)

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Look at it just now.

Aibu to not want to move up north
eggplant16 · 27/08/2024 13:49

Its horrible I can tell you that.

justasking111 · 27/08/2024 13:46

eggplant16 · 27/08/2024 13:06

Do you think there really is a difference between the 2? ( genuine question)

Show quote history

Yes. There are geographical reasons for this. Manchester is in a bowl weather-wise and gets a real pasting. Huddersfield has similar problems. It's all very scientific.

Andwegoroundagain · 27/08/2024 13:10

@eggplant16 I agree it kind of makes no sense. But I had regular work trips to just outside Manchester too for a couple of years and it always seemed wet and raining or cloudy. Leeds always seemed brighter and clearer skies when I went there regularly. I rather fancied the Peak district or something made the wearher different. But it's all day trips or overnighters so this is by no means empirically sound

eggplant16 · 27/08/2024 13:06

Andwegoroundagain · 27/08/2024 10:54

I have to say that if I couldn't live in London, I'd live in Leeds. The weather there seems less shit than, say, Manchester and I quite like the city vibe. I worked there a lot for a few years

Do you think there really is a difference between the 2? ( genuine question)

MichaelAndEagle · 27/08/2024 12:06

To be honest a lot of posters are being lazy and assuming OP is from London or the South East when she is actually from rural SW England.
So assumptions are going both ways and OP has since agreed she was initially being negative.

Andwegoroundagain · 27/08/2024 10:54

I have to say that if I couldn't live in London, I'd live in Leeds. The weather there seems less shit than, say, Manchester and I quite like the city vibe. I worked there a lot for a few years

alrightluv · 27/08/2024 10:51

Laszlomydarling · 27/08/2024 10:45

I would stay where you are. Your children sound far too good looking for the North.

😂

Laszlomydarling · 27/08/2024 10:45

I would stay where you are. Your children sound far too good looking for the North.

eggplant16 · 27/08/2024 10:12

Absolutely amazing parks with coffee vans and everything,fantastic little galleries and shops, loads of varied countryside, every cuisine you can think of, community projects thriving inspite of tough times.

Don't come.

rkahic · 27/08/2024 09:41

Good grief no, stay in the south where it’s nice, up here it’s cold weather, total strangers insisting on smiling at you in the street and saying hello, loads of awful open countryside, I could go on and on

RedToothBrush · 27/08/2024 09:40

justasking111 · 27/08/2024 08:51

That's not helpful.

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I can't see why it's not an appropriate response to a poster too lazy to visit the north and is so entrenched in their own southern bigotry.

Why do we want anyone who has those kinds of views coming into our communities with their hatred?

RedToothBrush · 27/08/2024 09:38

I sometimes read threads like this and wonder what planet the OP lives on.

For posters who say 'i'm used to acceptance of everyone where I live', they ain't half prejudice to the north of their own country.

Yes if you go to Leeds it will rain 365 days of the year, you will be miserable and will be raped and murdered multiple times within the first week.

Alternatively you could get off your backside, get on a train or in the car and actually go and visit the north once in a while.

It might blow your mind. We even have the odd Gails Bakery up north in addition to our staple food source of Greggs.

Simonsignoret · 27/08/2024 08:58

justasking111 · 27/08/2024 08:51

That's not helpful.

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Well tbh there are literally hundreds of threads like this trotting out the same advice. All OP has to do is search. Budget 1/2 a million £, relocating up north. Hebden bloody bridge, Harrogate, Roundhay. All of them becoming identikit places with no diversity. You can’t visit HB without falling over artisan bakeries and expensive lifestyle shops. The things that made it unique are rapidly being replaced.

justasking111 · 27/08/2024 08:51

Eyesrollinglots · 27/08/2024 08:50

Nope. Don't come up north. It's dreadful. Best stay Dawwwnn Sawff... (See user name)

That's not helpful.

Eyesrollinglots · 27/08/2024 08:50

Nope. Don't come up north. It's dreadful. Best stay Dawwwnn Sawff... (See user name)

justasking111 · 27/08/2024 08:47

We live in N Wales, I check our weather and sons most days. He gets much less rain in West Yorkshire. He hasn't had any significant snow in the six years hes lived there and the temperatures have been around the same.

The west coast of Britain is wetter 🥺

Bjorkdidit · 27/08/2024 08:45

Floofydawg · 27/08/2024 06:16

Why, when people talk about moving to Leeds, does Harrogate get trotted out every time? There are some perfectly nice villages/suburbs in Leeds.

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As well as Harrogate, people always trot out Chapel Allerton (which is not 4 minutes from the city centre unless the poster actually meant Chapeltown to the Arena, which even that is a stretch), Alwoodley and Headingley, with no consideration that it's likely to make commuting and travel across the rest of the county a complete drag.

Octopies · 27/08/2024 08:42

Harrogate used to be a awful to commute to and from Leeds in rush hour, heavily congested roads. Not sure if it's any better now with more people working from home.