Page 4 | unsolicited baby ultrasound photos - triggering?

mumandmumber · 2024-08-25T13:32:47+00:00

NC as could be outing. Non pregnant friend who has had recent loss, fertility issues etc. checks in with newly pregnant friend to check all is well with pregnancy. Pregnant friend replies with the ultrasound photo. AIBU to think the unsolicited visual is unnecessary and quite insensitive under the circumstances? (Note pregnant friend knows all the details of non pregnant friend’s history) and Anyone else find ultrasound photos particularly triggering?

Butterfly8719 · 25/08/2024 18:28

Agreed, someone at work announced their pregnancy to 500 people with an ultrasound photo. It was actually a photo of her having the ultrasound 😵‍💫 baffled.

SmudgeButt · 25/08/2024 18:26

I never want to see these or hear all the details after my own horrible experiences.

Had to put up with it so often at work mostly because people think "oh woman of a certain age, she'll love to hear/see all about it". No I don't.

Thepeopleversuswork · 25/08/2024 18:25

Zen74 · 25/08/2024 18:18

Over the years, I have found the sharing of ultrasound photos, pregnancy belly photos and breastfeeding photos a failsafe indicator of self-obsessed twatty women. Would you post photos of your turd or menstrual blood? Our biological functions are of zero interest to others.

I agree with this. It’s one thing to share it with a family member or a best friend or the baby’s father.

But what possesses people to post a picture like this on social media?

Ultrasound pictures literally all look identical. It’s completely inconsequential to anyone unless they are going to have a direct relationship with the unborn child. Also deeply personal and intimate. I think it’s weird and needy.

DappledThings · 25/08/2024 18:22

Zen74 · 25/08/2024 18:18

Over the years, I have found the sharing of ultrasound photos, pregnancy belly photos and breastfeeding photos a failsafe indicator of self-obsessed twatty women. Would you post photos of your turd or menstrual blood? Our biological functions are of zero interest to others.

Indeed.

I once had a flatmate who left the images from his colonoscopy lying around the lounge. Which was grosser and more inappropriate than an antenatal ultrasound image but the pregnancy ones are on the same spectrum as the colonoscopy ones, just a bit further down it and just as weird to share.

Butterfly8719 · 25/08/2024 18:20

@Zen74 I’m so glad someone said it 😁

Thepeopleversuswork · 25/08/2024 18:19

Wow. PolitePearlMoose you should change your name to just PearlMoose

Or just Moose.

Americano75 · 25/08/2024 18:19

I think, given the circumstances, it's a bit thoughtless. I'm lucky to never had anything like the experiences you've had to endure but even I can see why you'd find this a bit upsetting.

Zen74 · 25/08/2024 18:18

Over the years, I have found the sharing of ultrasound photos, pregnancy belly photos and breastfeeding photos a failsafe indicator of self-obsessed twatty women. Would you post photos of your turd or menstrual blood? Our biological functions are of zero interest to others.

Amanitacae · 25/08/2024 18:13

People don’t think/know. The can’t know what it’s like to stare at a static, motionless ultrasound screen, willing for a sign or life unless they’ve been there. Therefore they don’t know how triggering it is to see a healthy scan pic (much more so than any other type of ‘photo’ given that most scan pics look similar’).

Really awful to be the one receiving the pics (I’ve been there). However completely possible that the sender has no concept of what they’ve done.

Stickersandglitter · 25/08/2024 18:10

Butterfly8719 · 25/08/2024 18:09

🤣🤣 I was typing the same but thought they should scrap pearl too! Just Moose is more fitting.

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Agree! Haha

Cobblersorchard · 25/08/2024 18:10

No, pregnant friend is not being insensitive and pregnant friend needs to get a grip. You can’t only engage on your terms. If you don’t want the details don’t ask the question.

I don’t mean that to be harsh but you can’t have it both ways I’m afraid.

Butterfly8719 · 25/08/2024 18:09

Stickersandglitter · 25/08/2024 18:07

Wow. PolitePearlMoose you should change your name to just PearlMoose

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🤣🤣 I was typing the same but thought they should scrap pearl too! Just Moose is more fitting.

Busylizzies · 25/08/2024 18:08

This is definitely something women don’t realise/understand unless they’ve been through it. Yanbu, I hope you are ok x

CandiedPrincess · 25/08/2024 18:07

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Exactly.

The friend ASKED how it was going, I think it's a perfectly normal response to be honest. If you're going to be triggered, maybe....don't ask?

Stickersandglitter · 25/08/2024 18:07

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Wow. PolitePearlMoose you should change your name to just PearlMoose

DappledThings · 25/08/2024 18:07

FreedomDogs · 25/08/2024 17:39

It wasn't unsolicited.

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Yes it was. Nobody asked to see an image from someone's medical procedure. I've never asked anyone for one, never sent anyone one and always find it weird when anyone shares one.

OP asked how things are, what would have been solicited was a narrative response.

housethatbuiltme · 25/08/2024 18:06

If it was sent directly, out of the blue and knowing someone had a loss then thats out of line but in this case the non pregnant friend LITERALLY got in touch to specifically ask about the pregnancy and for an update.

They got what they asked for, I mean what else where they expecting?

Butterfly8719 · 25/08/2024 18:06

TheAlchemy · 25/08/2024 18:04

But many of us who don’t think that it’s insensitive have walked this path, many many times over. And that’s Okay too.

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No two fertility journey’s are the same. Which is why I’m always so mindful, I’d rather be sensitive than not. Why risk hurting someone.

PolitePearlMoose · 25/08/2024 18:05

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Blubbafish · 25/08/2024 18:04

How is the pregnant person to blame when they were directly asked?!

TheAlchemy · 25/08/2024 18:04

Butterfly8719 · 25/08/2024 18:00

It’s so sad to see how many people think it’s not insensitive. My heart goes out to anyone experiencing loss and infertility ❤️ navigating the journey itself plus friendships and everyday life is so so hard. No one truly understands unless they’ve walked your path.

But many of us who don’t think that it’s insensitive have walked this path, many many times over. And that’s Okay too.

Waterboatlass · 25/08/2024 18:03

I have to say I think people are quite a lot more obtuse than I realised if they can't see the how 'fine thanks, had the scan and all is well' would be a lot less confronting under the circs than an US whatever the intention.

Butterfly8719 · 25/08/2024 18:02

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Glad I’m not your friend 🤣🤣🤣

PolitePearlMoose · 25/08/2024 18:00

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Butterfly8719 · 25/08/2024 18:00

It’s so sad to see how many people think it’s not insensitive. My heart goes out to anyone experiencing loss and infertility ❤️ navigating the journey itself plus friendships and everyday life is so so hard. No one truly understands unless they’ve walked your path.