Mad to consider IVF in these circumstances?

Namechangeforthis112 · 2024-08-25T12:21:22+00:00

My little boy is the light of my life and we love him so very much. I've got a wonderful husband, son and a generally lovely life, but I'm yearning for more children so badly it's all I can think about. It was very difficult conceiving our son (took years, both DH and me fertility issues, but worked naturally eventually). I've always been afraid of IVF but have been considering it lately. However I've got a pituitary adenoma and been told with injecting hormones there's a chance it can grow and bleed into the brain (although chance is not big). It would also seriously diminish our savings to do IVF, but I'd love to give my child a sibling. My DH says to count our blessings and move on but I find it so hard - at the same time I wonder if it's good big of a risk! I need to make a decision soon as I'm 37 this year and can't think of anything else. yabu- count your blessings and don't take the risk Yanbu- you'll regret it if you don't go for IVF and at least try

foxglovesandharebells · 26/08/2024 13:44

Namechangeforthis112 · 26/08/2024 08:59

Thanks so much. I suppose one does a sperm count first and the Dr can then assess and advise?

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Yes, that's right. A proper male fertility specialist (and there are very few of these in the UK, as in, about three of them) will give you tailored advice and probably prescribe hormonal medication for your DH to maximise his fertility. It's clearly possible for the two of you to conceive naturally given that you have your DS, so it's not impossible that you could do it again. But your chances would probably be much higher with expert advice.

Oopstoo · 26/08/2024 09:17

another option is don't inject hormones - try artificial insemination with your hubbies sperm based around when you are fertile with your natural cycle.
Or embryo donation if it can be agreed its done on your natural cycle? There are people with extra embryos who would rather they be donated and used then defrosted after their storage time is up.

SiberFox · 26/08/2024 09:10

I feel for you OP, I have a daughter after years of trying and heartbreak. Would have loved another child but it’s not to be. Just to say that it is possible to grief this and it gets better over time. I used to be in tears every day and it’s all I could think about for a period of time, now I get an occasional pang but it doesn’t even go deep. Just remember grief is not linear, you’ll have good periods and then something like a friend having a baby will trigger the emotions again but gradually life will take over and you’ll feel content again. Hugs x

Original poster

Namechangeforthis112 · 26/08/2024 09:06

joolsella · 26/08/2024 07:36

I have an only child. There are I think 6 onlies in their class

I don't understand the 'pressure' people say there is to have more than one. It's more and more common nowadays

Ive done IVF..:i was lucky

Im not doing it again as i have everything i need

Hi, yes I agree somehow that I think I feel insecure about it as I'd originally planned on more than one child. However I have had a fair few comments from other people which I know I just shouldn't let get to me. This is something I need to work on as well ❤️‍🩹
The more I read the comments and the more I think about it all, I'm actually realising how happy I am with the set up we have and how lucky we are to have DS.

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thequickbrowndog · 26/08/2024 09:03

Having been through ivf myself, I was made to have consultant letters to declare they thought I was fit enough to have the treatment due to a chronic health condition, you might find that the decision is taken out of your hands.
I completely empathise though, that yearning is all consuming. I was very lucky to have 2 children via ivf but couldn't seem to manage a third. It makes me sad to this day but I think eventually you settle for what you have and realise how very lucky you are.
Good luck OP xx

oustedbymymate · 26/08/2024 09:03

Have you looked into (presumably you have!) doing everything you can to improve fertility chances. Taking supplements lifestyle changes etc etc.

I had ivf with my first child. DH sperm uses low mobility motility and morphology. Low AMH for me. We both took supplements and followed it starts with the egg plan.

We conceived DS from ICSI and he was a FET as I had OHSS from the stims.

Second baby we had sex once on New Year's Eve and fell pregnant. Go figure

Original poster

Namechangeforthis112 · 26/08/2024 09:00

Sweetteaplease · 26/08/2024 08:12

You sound like you have a great, happy life. Personally I wouldn't risk it, your son won't have his mum and he needs you. Wishing you well OP

Thank you so much. All the best to you too💐

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Whatever123456789 · 26/08/2024 08:59

I know you say IUI isn't really an option with the male factor issues, but it would require no drugs on your side. It might have a low percentage of success but better than no intervention and safer for you.

Also it's significantly less expensive than IVF (although my experience is some time ago now)

Original poster

Namechangeforthis112 · 26/08/2024 08:59

foxglovesandharebells · 26/08/2024 08:49

This. Your options are probably not IVF or nothing. There are never any guarantees on fertility treatment, but a consultation with a top specialist in male fertility like the one PP mentioned (you can do the appointment remotely) would be well worth your while to help consider your options (and a lot cheaper than IVF!)

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Thanks so much. I suppose one does a sperm count first and the Dr can then assess and advise?

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foxglovesandharebells · 26/08/2024 08:49

honkifyalikebeans · 26/08/2024 08:21

are you in the uk? Try Mr Ramsey in London for male fertility- soerm can be improved relatively cheaply with no hormonal impact on you (except pregnancy)

This. Your options are probably not IVF or nothing. There are never any guarantees on fertility treatment, but a consultation with a top specialist in male fertility like the one PP mentioned (you can do the appointment remotely) would be well worth your while to help consider your options (and a lot cheaper than IVF!)

Original poster

Namechangeforthis112 · 26/08/2024 08:47

hopeful2025 · 26/08/2024 08:35

Lots of good advice on here and there is no right or wrong answer. If you decide not to go for it, could your partner try some of those high strength vitamins designed for.men to.improve sperms quality? Have heard anecdotally it can work. And anything to regulate your cycles supplement wise. Worth a go if you decide not to go.for.ivf.

Thanks so much for your reply. Hubby on loads of supplements already but might try a more tailored one. Have read proxeed might be good? Also acupuncture which didn't help with conceiving but had lots of other benefits!

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Original poster

Namechangeforthis112 · 26/08/2024 08:45

Darhon · 26/08/2024 08:37

At your age, already with a child, and the added risk. I probably wouldn’t to be honest. I’ve supported a partner through it, with no apparent fertility issues and it’s been 3 years

Thanks so much for your reply. Yes, I think to be honest I'm more and more thinking I'll leave it alone and not risk it

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Original poster

Namechangeforthis112 · 26/08/2024 08:44

RRBB1920 · 26/08/2024 08:31

Ps prolactin pituitary tumour is it? Mine didn't change at all during 2 pregnancies.

Yes so prolactinoma but by now, my prolactin is normal but the tumour is still there. Apparently less of a problem usually when it's "normal" conception but more of an issue with IVF stim drugs (at least that's what my endocrinologist told me). Glad it worked out fine for you and your family 😊

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Darhon · 26/08/2024 08:37

At your age, already with a child, and the added risk. I probably wouldn’t to be honest. I’ve supported a partner through it, with no apparent fertility issues and it’s been 3 years

hopeful2025 · 26/08/2024 08:35

Sorry no idea why there was a link in my post

hopeful2025 · 26/08/2024 08:35

Lots of good advice on here and there is no right or wrong answer. If you decide not to go for it, could your partner try some of those high strength vitamins designed for.men to.improve sperms quality? Have heard anecdotally it can work. And anything to regulate your cycles supplement wise. Worth a go if you decide not to go.for.ivf.

RRBB1920 · 26/08/2024 08:31

Ps prolactin pituitary tumour is it? Mine didn't change at all during 2 pregnancies.

RRBB1920 · 26/08/2024 08:29

I agree with a lot of other posters, your child needs need a mum more than a sibling. I thought about giving my daughter a living sibling but my health would make it very risky. Up to you though of course.

honkifyalikebeans · 26/08/2024 08:21

are you in the uk? Try Mr Ramsey in London for male fertility- soerm can be improved relatively cheaply with no hormonal impact on you (except pregnancy)

Smeshier · 26/08/2024 08:18

Namechangeforthis112 · 25/08/2024 13:37

Thank you! I thought about this but that option seems even more expensive (£8k for one go including drugs etc) I cannot spend this money unfortunately

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I’m guessing if you can’t afford £8k IVF then you wouldn’t be able to manage the financial burden of a bleed into the brain or your husband/son manage if you died. Asides from the obvious risk to health and life, this is also a consideration.

Sweetteaplease · 26/08/2024 08:12

You sound like you have a great, happy life. Personally I wouldn't risk it, your son won't have his mum and he needs you. Wishing you well OP

Original poster

Namechangeforthis112 · 26/08/2024 08:11

EATmum · 26/08/2024 08:03

Have the same adenoma and found that my first pregnancy seemed to reset my ovulation. So while I appreciate you've got issues on both sides, you may find that your own situation is improved slightly - the doctors seemed to find this an expected/possible impact of pregnancy.

Thanks for your reply! The first two years after having my son I didn't have a period at all, then it returned, and acupuncture made it more regular. But yes I agree I've been told that a pregnancy can have a very positive impact on prolactinoma. The problem is though (at least in my case) that big amounts of hormones such as with IVF can trigger growth of the adenoma....

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EATmum · 26/08/2024 08:03

Have the same adenoma and found that my first pregnancy seemed to reset my ovulation. So while I appreciate you've got issues on both sides, you may find that your own situation is improved slightly - the doctors seemed to find this an expected/possible impact of pregnancy.

Original poster

Namechangeforthis112 · 26/08/2024 08:01

Ohyay · 26/08/2024 07:37

Just a thought... are you not on Caber / Bromo? That can make you very fertile.

To conceive first time round I was on caber, it made my periods regular and I got pregnant. However, now my prolactin is normal but the tumour is still there (albeit it's shrunk slightly). I myself am probably more fertile now than first time round but my husband's sperm quality is now worse than a few years ago so hence why I'd have to go for ICSI!

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Original poster

Namechangeforthis112 · 26/08/2024 07:57

JacquiDaytona · 26/08/2024 07:40

I’m in a similar (but not quite as extreme) position. Had my little boy after multiple rounds of IVF 2 years ago - after that I developed all sorts of autoimmune issues, which has led to, amongst other things, alopecia universalis. Following the posts with interest as I am conflicted and need to decide a way forward too!

So sorry to hear about your health issues! A friend of mine had colon cancer after 3 rounds of IVF (though of course I have no idea if this and the cancer are directly related!) but I've heard of.women with lots of different issues after going through hormone therapy. I'm very risk averse so I think I've kind of decided that I'll not go ahead with it. All the best for you and your family x

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