How to deal with weird, obsessive neighbours

I'd have no time for any of this BS and would just ignore them from now on. So what if their son is in your son's year group/class/friendship group, the kids can be friends doesn't mean you need to be friends with the parents. Especially weird, batshit ones like that 😂

You’re best option would have been to have laughed hysterically, the pair of you, when DH told you, loudly do they heard it.

But I’d just ignore them now. They sound like trouble.

Ah, ok, sorry I misunderstood your post @Calamitousness

I still think this has nothing to do with feminism though.

That reminds me of a time during my very first job. A girl I was friends with told me how one of the guys she dated for a short period of time, told her that apparently I liked him, but he was not interested in me as I am was not his type, I don’t remember exact wording now.

I remember feeling so embarrassed because I was NOT interested in him at all! I had no idea how he arrived to this conclusion, but the only time I talked to him was when a year before that chat, we went to a pub with the team and I sat next to him only because the sit was not taken. We had a short conversation about music or smth like that, I was not flirting, didn’t say anything out of ordinary. Till this day I am still impressed by his confidence and still stressed out when I talk to men in case they will think I like them in a romantic way. 😅

@wutheringkites I never said she was rude or ranty. I’m saying if you are rude and ranty meaning in reply to your neighbour then yes that could be whatever her term was around behaving like a pig in shit or something. But if you are polite and pleasant then why not speak your mind if you want to. Not everyone is able to speak up for themselves or wants to and that’s ok too. I was stating my preference to do so and suggesting it’s adding to shit is in my opinion completely disempowering a woman’s voice. She should use it if she wants. Note the if she wants. If she doesn’t. Fine. Her choice for whatever reason. She may think it’s fuelling the neighbours behaviour, who knows. I couldn’t let a woman think that of me without correcting her though as it is a hideous thing to be accused of. And you can bet they are telling others about it. If no one corrects you, you believe you have the correct narrative, in my opinion.

😂😂😂 brilliant! OP, please do this!

So she is not talking to you because her husband told her you were coming onto him 😀

I don't think @Dotto has been ranty or rude in the slightest.

Making the decision not to engage with people who either imagine things or make stuff up about you is not anti feminist in the slightest. I'd say it's the wisest course of action.

Op has to live next door to these weirdos, so escalating the situation probably won't help. Totally freezing them out will probably bother them more than any other action anyway.

No, not shame on me at all, thanks. Refusing to play into the hands of idiots is not silencing women ffs.

Possibly @Dotto if you are a ranty rude individual. But if you are a smart strong woman you can stand up for yourself with impunity and shame on you for making women feel they should be silent to be decorous.

why not have some fun with it 😂

"Oh I heard your husband mentioned to mine that he thought I was flirting with him, I think he must have got the wrong end of the stick as I'm actually a lesbian and we're just married for the kids' sake" pause, lean in, smile "By the way, what are you doing tonight? We could open a bottle of wine."

Have some fun with it

Get some pampas grass and a hot tub

Wave at them only when you're wearing a bikini and carrying a cocktail

I would take a different approach and speak to them saying you find it hilarious (in a 'how on earth did you get that idea?' way). Make out that you both find it funny and can't believe how they (or the husband) got that idea. Put them on the spot. Go round as a couple, put on a united front, keep giggling and show them they are being ridiculous. If the husband is making mischief, it will certainly put him in his place.

I don’t think you need to “deal” with them at all. The woman has already started ignoring you, so just do nothing. You may well jump into them at the school gates or wherever, but just…do nothing.

The thing is, some people have an agenda unfortunately. It's not that they're being friendly, they're scoping you out, coz you're new and haven't figured them out yet.

My sister had something similar when she moved into a new apartment complex - the first person over like a shot was a woman who had lived there for years, seemed all helpful and friendly, if a bit full on...

Well she turned out to be a total head melt that the other neighbours steered clear of, and she only wanted to befriend my sister to pass off old manky furniture on her (no thanks!).

Many years ago one of my neighbours dp's did fancy me. We had similar age dc so did pop for cuppa or to the park sometime.. She thought it was hilarious.. I didn't. Especially when he turned up at dd's nursery trying to pick her up saying he was her df.. I moved.. He went to jail for some violent offence. She waited for him and had another dc with him. It didn't end well. Don't play games op.

But you'd be lowering yourself to their ridiculous level. When pigs roll in shit you don't join them.

A lot of people saying ignore and while I suspect that’s probably the most mature response. I couldn’t bear it. I’d have to say hello to her and then say “oops. I should t appear neighbourly. You might think I fancy you, and that’s ridiculous just like your husband” then walk away. I’d probs make sure I had a mum friend from school with me to turn to. I couldn’t let that piece of shit he said about me go unchallenged.

I’ve lived all over, & never have I had such busy body neighbours. Even village life wasn’t this bad! I just say hello to some of them & walk by, & they, think I’m the weird one.

Or it would be interesting to confront him about the flirting. See how he tries to get out of that one when you’re f2f. Of course they probably won’t want to speak to you again after that, tut tut.

I would actually go round with my husband & confront them about it, say my piece and walk away.Then I would put a higher fence between the two houses so they couldn't look over & imagine anything else.

I manage perfectly fine without interacting with my neighbours. Not that there's any animosity it's just that we all must come and go at different times or on occasion at the same time- but what is there to chat about? Sometimes I think people on MN think they have to exist like in a sitcom!
Just ignore the weird fuckers.

I’d be getting my husband to wink at him 🤣

The husband's comments have given you the absolutely perfect excuse to never engage with them again.

Also, as they've shown themselves to be strange and dramatic, I'd limited any time the kids spend in each other's houses too. You don't want them making up stuff about your child.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Grey rock if you absolutely have to, otherwise ignore some more.

I hope you didn't reply when they asked about your DH's salary.