How would you parent this situation?

It’s really strange that she has been sat inside the tent all day without any entertainment

That is either an incredible amount of single bloody mindedness…or something is stopping her from leaving the tent but she can’t articulate it. I agree with a lot of PPs, I would not be happy with a ten year old being on their phone in the tent all day in lieu of activities. But if you’ve removed tech is she literally just staring at the tent walls? Why is she doing that? You say she’s lazy but usually the need for stimulation prevails eventually, especially in children. I’m possibly not ideally placed to comment (I have ADHD and need stimulation and exercise otherwise I’m no use to anyone) but choosing to be confined to a tent all day without anything to do doesn’t sound particularly normal, especially for a (presumably) pre pubescent child.

Hope you manage to find some enjoyment in your trip x

Aha my point proven.
Why is your first assumption that a 10 year old is 'anxious'? The majority will not be. Much more likely that she is just being silly /wants to stay looking at a screen?
People need to stop jumping straight to anxious/overwhelmed. Most 10 year olds arent 'anxious'. They might have the odd worry or occasionally feel anxious about something but this is normal, having feelings is normal life and this does not mean they 'are anxious'.

@Waffle78 wow. You sound like a nice person. Wonder how your relationship will be with your own kids when they grow up...

And no I wouldn't be getting angry, she's only 10. I'd be concerned she's anxious and overwhelmed.

That's unusual. Is she anxious, maybe?

Which is why i said pre-teens/teens.
A 10 year old is not a 'little girl' - any ten year old girl will be pretty pissed off if you say they are a 'little girl'!!
A 10 year old is likely little more than a year off secondary school where they are expected to get on with it. 10 year olds do not need babying they aren't toddlers!

It’s easy to get exasperated and I would too but take a step back and think - maybe she is genuinely overwhelmed by how busy it is and the noise. Actually try to have a chat with her

Wow that would be a dream for most!

I wouldn't be negotiating carry her out the tent kicking and screaming. If she's going to behave like a baby that's how she needs to be dealt with. Your raising a spoilt brat.

Poor kid. Hope she gets to go home soon. More kindness, less forced fun.

Sorry don’t know where I got music festival from.

I would never have gone to a music festival with children for this reason,

10 is a little girl not a teenager!

Sending hugs. Sort of an aside but I went to Florida with my family from 4 to 30 recently. On the plane on the way back I was sitting next to a man and a 7 year old boy. We talked about Disney. Son had loved it but 10 year old daughter had spent all her time wanting to shop and be with her friends and phoning them.
I was horrified - I have a lot of contact with 10 year old girls and while most of them have phones they don't spend their lives on them.
Parenting is a hard job - and COVID has a lot to answer for.
Good luck when you are home. x x x

If it was me and I didn't want to manhandle my child or go home early, I'd just take the tent down around her so she couldn't sit in it. Im sure after one or two poles came out she would come out. Then zip it up, rebuild and march on ahead to the festival. Tell her the staff will come round and kids cant be left alone anywhere. You can't let a child dictate your life and it's an important lesson to learn that we have to do things we dont like to get to the reward.

Tbh I don't see how most of posters here manage to actually. parent their children and teach them.
You cannot let 3y, 5y, 7y, 10y organize your life. Children can be given choice once they are old enough to care for themselves for that time.

Tell her to get out and drag her out if needed.
She does not need to enjoy it, but she surelly should not spoil it for anyone else.
She can as well sulk front row.

This thread is prime for 'armchair diagnosis of teens' bingo. 10 points every time someone posts any of the following words:
Anxiety
Overwhelmed
Overstimulated
Disregulated
Noise
Autism

Why do some people refuse to believe that most pre-teen / teen behaviour is not a sign of anxiety or neurodiversity its just that they can be shits at times?!
And a bit addicted to screens and would rather do that than other stuff.

Reading this thread i can see why we are producing vast numbers of young people unable to cope with the highs and lows of ordinary life, which include a fair amount of Doing Stuff You Don't Want To Do.

I've got a stubborn dd just a year older. What would yours do if you told her you were going to leave her in the tent and go with the toddler to have fun?!

Nonsense sometimes i just cannot be arsed!! Not because i feel 'overwhelmed' or 'anxious' or my shoes are too tight... Theres just an easier option which is parking my arse on the sofa doom scrolling?!

She's 10 and suffering from a bad case of overwhelm. As much as she may have been excited to go, at 10, with the best will in the world, she wouldn't have any idea of the reality of being at a festival for several days. I wouldn't exhaust myself getting angry. I really would have calmly packed this morning and asked her to give me a hand. If she did a good job I would have praised her and promised a stop for her favourite snack/drink/meal.

Don't in any way let her know she has spoilt your holiday. Shaming her for this will store up trouble for later. She wasn't ready for this.

Is this behaviour just an issue out of the house, or at home too?

@Himitsu TBH I went to a festival recently : and the noise, crowds, queuing, toilets, amount of walking - it did at times feel like hell on Earth. I was with my friends of similar age, but I don’t think my kids would have coped. Can you have a heart to heart with her? No arguments, ask how she feels?

OP I really feel for you as we had one of those children, would always have a headache if he didn’t want to do something, I can imagine he too would have literally sat in the tent all day with no screen sulking, he’s mostly grown out of it now at 15 but his moods often spoilt lovely days out.
(Covid didn’t help as he got used to staying inside which he basically loved)

What helped for us was basically ignoring as much as possible, for example he’d often refused to order food if we were at a restaurant so we’d order a bit extra and leave jt on the table while we ate, he'd usually just start eating then.
Most of the time once he was out actually doing the activity/walk etc he’d perk up a bit, it helped to not spring any surprises on him and have him constantly in the loop of the plans.

knowing how my son was I would absolutely not be packing up and going home, especially if you’ve gone as part of her hobby.
I would make make it non negotiable that she leave the tent and go with you, but that she doesn’t have to do the activity and can just watch, hopefully she perks up and will want to do an activity or 2 once she knows she can’t just stay in the tent,

What is it that means she doesn't want to do anything other than stay in the tent? For example: is it a lot busier than she anticipated; does she feel overwhelmed/overstimulated; is the walk from the tent to the actual activities too far for her (if so, is that too far due to pain or lack of fitness or lack of incentive); has she got something else on her mind; is she actually interested in the festival activities or did she think she 'should' be but actually isn't?

If the festival is something the rest of you enjoy, then I'd just say that she can stay in the tent and you and DH take it in turns to enjoy the festival without her. I wouldn't punish her for not wanting to do something. Afterwards, I'd try to talk it through with her and see what went wrong for her.

Once you post you are going to get opinions