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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be completely confused and overwhelmed about perimenopause

38 replies

inthekiddle · 25/08/2024 10:01

Just don't know where to start! Everywhere I look there is different advice and a lot of it seems really unachievable.

Putting on weight, struggling to keep it off. Tried intermittent fasting but hadn't made any difference. If not eating for half the day every day doesn't help then surely if I start eating three meals a day again I'll put on even more? Am I supposed to just starve myself? Only eat one meal a day?

Advice to cut out sugar - sure but that's a pretty extreme lifestyle change for most people. No carbs, no alcohol, no desserts? We're told all our lives not to deprive ourselves and everything in moderation then we get to 40 and everyone's like oh wait no you can't eat now, you can't enjoy food.

Don't go out to restaurants because you'll definitely eat too much and you can't have a glass of wine. So basically don't see friends unless it's for a walk in the park. But friends are really important as you age so do make time for them.

Weight training. Sure, but I work full time and have children, how can I fit this in often enough for it to make a difference? Tried one weights class and one Pilates class a week, doesn't make any different to my weight. When can I do more while at the same time making time for my kids and shopping for healthy food?! Do cardio, don't do cardio.

Anyone else just overwhelmed with all this, plus you know, just getting through daily life?

OP posts:
greenwoodentablelegs · 25/08/2024 10:37

I am 49 and slim and very fit, doing a bunch of exercise, one meal
a day, no upfs, no sugar but that is easy as I don’t like cake ! I do drink like a fish, you’d all be horrified by the amount.

I don’t weight myself but I am changing shape. I can tell from my trousers - getting more hippy and lower tummy. I think that is fair enough - as long as I keep the exercise up. Just need to buy different cut trousers ! All my exercise is at home-

skipping
youtube yoga
weights with The Fitness app (Jillian micheals)
rowing.
do a lot of walking on office days.

I am hoping this will save me come 50+ !

Octavia64 · 25/08/2024 10:36

People have varying approaches because it hits different people differently.

The advice about weight training is mostly about maintaining bone density into older age.

Most of the advice is very general "eat less move more" and will not necessarily work for you.

cheezncrackers · 25/08/2024 10:35

You need to figure out what works for you OP. It's as simple as that. For me, it's HRT, running and not snacking at all. If I eat three small meals a day and keep fit, I'm fine. My shape has changed a bit (tummy used to be flat - now I have a little podge), but otherwise I look pretty much the same as always. But that's just me. You need to figure out what is going to work for YOU.

shellyleppard · 25/08/2024 10:35

@inthekiddle can you ask for a referral to a menopause clinic??? I'm post menopausal and had all the symptoms. No hrt though, it didn't make any difference. Yes I wish I had done more to improve my bone density as now struggling with arthritis.

inthekiddle · 25/08/2024 10:31

I think I'm early on in peri. My periods are now erratic, I'm feeling more anxious intermittently, putting on weight especially on my tummy, moments of brain fog. It's not awful and not enough to start HRT but the weight is bothering me. All the things I have done all my life to stay slim no longer work well enough. Yes I am doing IF properly, I guess it just isn't enough on its own? Yes I do care about my weight and my shape, and I don't think that's unreasonable... everything we read says it's important to stay slim and eat less in old age. But then some people say no it's normal to gain weight and change shape, some people say it's not. Weight training is about bone density yes but also metabolism. See what I mean though? Even in a few replies people have varying approaches and this is partly what I get confused by. I can't figure out what to do, if anything

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 25/08/2024 10:18

I think the weight training is to build bone density as sometimes bones get more brittle after the menopause. It's all a bit overwhelming. However your body is starting to change. What peri symptoms are you having? If any??

Potentialmadcatlady · 25/08/2024 10:16

Hoglet70 · 25/08/2024 10:09

I've decided it's easier to embrace my extra stone and newly formed tummy and just work on not getting any fatter. I refuse to spend my old age starving myself and lifting weights.

Me too! I put on weight but it stopped and now I just maintain myself there.. size 14 ( was 10-12) so not bad despite what the GP says.. I refuse to spend the rest of my life being obsessed about losing weight.. my body seems happy where it is so be it

cheezncrackers · 25/08/2024 10:14

OP where are you getting all this extreme advice from? Everyone is different, so the way PM affects you and the things you might try to counteract those things is different for everyone. It sounds like you've gained some weight and are finding it hard to shift - yes? Intermittent fasting is effective for many people, maybe it doesn't work for you? It really should, because it's about eating less - a lot less - on certain days, so most people lose weight. Are you doing it properly? Like really being strict and adhering to the programme? My 47-year-old Dsis did it for a month earlier in the summer and she lost 4kg.

GoogolB · 25/08/2024 10:13

The goal of perimenopause isn’t about weight/body shape. What a weird way to approach it! Your body is changing and will change. What you eat can have a big impact on your symptoms, or none at all. Mostly, the thing which can make the biggest difference is HRT, because it’s hormones which are changing. Focus on health not appearance and you’ll find it much easier.

Bitchette · 25/08/2024 10:12

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

MatildaTheCat · 25/08/2024 10:11

Just do your best and be moderate. Watch portion size, try not to snack and eat your 5 a day.

Are you having any other symptoms ?

Hoglet70 · 25/08/2024 10:09

I've decided it's easier to embrace my extra stone and newly formed tummy and just work on not getting any fatter. I refuse to spend my old age starving myself and lifting weights.

FuckThePoPo · 25/08/2024 10:05

What symptoms are you experiencing?