To be completely confused and overwhelmed about perimenopause

If it's not your natural inclination it's extreme.

I absolutely get you OP just cut out alcohol and sugar and bread is ridiculously blithe if that's what you love and what makes you happy.

Exercise is what keeps me going even though it's mostly cycling (which I do a lot every day because I don't drive) but my elliptical trainer and mini trampoline gathers dust these days because my energy levels have massively dropped and I can't be arsed.

@OptimismvsRealism I'm not going to derail this thread so this is my last post about this - but it's not an extreme eating protocol, it reflects the way we were meant to eat. Good luck with the rest of your "research"

Ok but it's an extreme eating protocol so I don't think it's a desirable proposition for most people. If there's additional risk involved it becomes ridiculous.

@OptimismvsRealism thanks I've read that full research document and even the lead on it says they didn't do the experiments on any humans and what they are saying that is it is important to refeed correctly ie don't eat charred steak etc. This advice has been around for years and is well known in IF communities as to what one should eat to break your fast. With any eating protocol it would obviously be important to listen and read everything one can which I've done in detail.

I used to be able to eat what I like and never put much weight on in my 20s. Post kids then I definitely got a belly which was worse if I over ate or drank. I'm 50 now and got a shock when I dug out my summer clothes this year to find I needed to buy a load of new shorts because I'd thickened so much around the middle.

I think it's definitely a combination of hormones/metabolism change/more sedentary lifestyle/not adjusting portion sizes accordingly. Dh insists on putting out the same huge portions every meal that we've always had and now I struggle to eat them a lot of the time because I just don't have the same appetite, because I'm not using the calories I guess (more sedentary as knackered after work every day!!). But because it's tasty and just habit I finish the lot and then feel overfull and often have indigestion. So I do think that portion sizes need rethinking when you're in perimenopause.

I went for a meal out a few years back and the group included someone who had been very into running when younger, and who was vegetarian. She was nearly 70 and still very slim. But all she ordered as a main course was actually a starter! So she had 2 starters, and I can't recall if she had dessert or not. And that's all she ate. She said she couldn't eat much anymore, and very much ate according to how hungry she actually was. I think it's probably good advice. Too many of us probably overeat calorie wise, just because we find the food so tasty.

Remember that until five minutes ago this preoccupation with peri-menopause (and the industry of advice and accessorising around it) barely existed. The level of concern that women are meant to attach to it these days is just ridiculous. If you feel ill, go to the doctor and they will assess your symptoms and work out whether they are menopause related and what needs to be done. Otherwise, just eat healthily and take some exercise. Same as you would at any other stage of life.

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-024-07840-z

How?

There's evidence now that IF causes colon cancer.

Everything in moderation remains the wise position.

I think the sooner you start hrt the easier it is. I'd consider the symptoms you have to be well into peri. I lost weight when I started hrt because I felt so much better initially. I've had a long journey so I put on quite a lot of weight at one stage of it but I'm losing it again.

I would rather live this second act as healthy as a can try and be not knowing what is around the corner but knowing I tried my hardest to keep myself well.
Also - as a long term beneficiary of the amazing results of intermittent fasting I can say the biggest issue is that some do it only on a weekday but it takes 4 days to reset once you break it ( source: Andrew Huberman)

Menopause hits everyone differently, that's why it's so difficult to manage.

Some get no symptoms, some only one or two, but others are hit with seemingly every single symptom imaginable and have a really rough time of it.

I'm currently under investigation for early peri-menopause as I've started experiencing a whole range of random symptoms that all seem to be linked to my cycle. I'd suggest making a GP or nurse appointment to discuss things.

I think just please yourself. Most people are a lot more sedentary than they realise (struggle to reach 10000 steps a day) and that's why they pork up. Build in movement, eat and drink what gives you real pleasure rather than ballast. I drink alcohol every day, three meals every day unless I'm working over lunch, sure as heck don't cut out dessert. The idea of all these rules is awful I'd rather just die than live decades like that.

Treat the symptoms. Everyone's perimenopause is different.

53 and feeling good. Here's what I can share:

• allocate a drink one time a week but now often skip that
• intermittent fast 16 hours
• avoid sugar
• Pilates 4/5 times a week
• Protect my peace ! So important .

I’m 50 and peri - have been for a few years now. I get fluctuating symptoms. I’ve been on HRT for a while which helps. My weight is stable but I have to work hard to keep it where it is - much more so than when I was younger. Fasting didn’t work for me. A friend of mine cut out all sugar and alcohol and looks amazing but it’s too restrictive for me. I think you just need to try and go with the flow a little. I do weight train but that’s because I want to prevent loss of bone density. That’s my personal choice.
have a look at the balance app and Louise newsome who is a menopause expert. She has some good pod casts that you can listen to. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I have definitely spent too much time comparing myself to others and it’s exhausting!

My first advice is to stop reading advice on peri 🙂

Just take care of yourself and any changes that come your way. Honestly I think the whole topic is over blown. Yes your body is changing just like when you went through puberty you had to adjust and it meant things were different. So take these changes as they come and adjust.

I think expecting any changes from one weight session and one Pilates class is a bit unrealistic. It's all about consistency over time. Looong time.
In any case, exercise is not about weight loss. It is about keeping healthy and mobile and avoiding sarcopenia and osteoporosis.
IF is not a magic bullet. You lose weight if you are in a calorie deficit. You can have three meals a day and consume 2k calories or you can have one meal a day and consume 3k in a single sitting. Guess which will make you pile on weight...
I have a lot of examples in my family where women lost a significant amount of weight in their 50s and 60s (while eating an occasional slice of cake) so I don't think it is a given that you will pile on the lbs after you hit menopause.
Recent research shows that metabolism slowing down in older age is a myth, the main driver of weight gain in later years is changes in activity levels. Hormones can and do play a role in fat distribution but less so in overall body fat percentage.

Weight and shape are two different things. The latter we have very little (if any) control over. Men and women store more weight in their middles as they get older. At 44 I'm slimmer than during periods in my teens and my 20s but my shape is definitely different.

I've been a yo yo dieter and have been "managing" my weight since my teens so it's nothing new to me. The only way I personally have found is to calorie count and log everything. I've managed to stay at a size 10/12 - 14/16 ish since my mid 30s. My best size is 10/12, BMI about 23/24, so not skinny but slim-ish. I do exercise but for health not figure.

I also found it difficult to understand how I found it pretty easy to stay slim pre prei and suddenly the things that worked before stopped. There is no magic answer, you just have to find what works best for you and that might involve some patience and trail and error as your body and hormones are changing. I have accepted that I will never be size 8 while eating whatever I want but am not depriving myself of nice food and wine at weekends but I do have to be more conscious of what I eat in the week. Walking and some weight training is helping to tone and build strength but this also helps me mentally.

I’m the same, managed to shift some lbs last year through intermittent fasting, cutting out booze and basically avoiding a social life for a few months. Put it all back on after!

My word recall is hit & miss and I’m often grumpy. Think I would benefit from HRT, I have the contraceptive implant so progesterone but maybe oestrogen would help?

I remember my mum’s body being cuddly at middle age, you just don’t think it will happen to your own body. Losing elasticity in my skin so I generally look ok for my age but my eyes look permanently tired.

Any advice on what to ask the GP for?

Really needed this! Wise words very much appreciated from someone trying to embrace that extra stone!

OP, you don't have to do any of this stuff!
If you have serious symptoms, see a GP.
Otherwise, just live a normal life and be happy - that's it. Job done. Don't be one of those women that fusses over their (perfectly OK) health, because it will just drag you down, and make you boring as well!