To wonder if it’s normal to not enjoy days with your children ?

Try to get them one to one occasionally, if you have a friend/ grandparent who could help. The dynamic really changes when they aren’t together. I applaud you for raising your children yourself rather than sending them outside the home full time.

@thepuppetshow I used to go to activities for toddlers. Get older DS to nursery for a bit longer next term and take toddler to any activity group to meet people. I met parents at nursery too. DC start heve birthday parties so see who dc plays with at nursery. Definitely being around other adults helps.

Also get DS interested in books. Show him how to do things like construction toys. Try and get him to concentrate. Make a den. Get imaginative play going. I agree with a poster earlier who said get out a few toys. Don’t get the whole box out. Get a variety for a quiet time when DD is sleeping. It’s an ideal time for books and a game.

I find the days off with them hard and mine are 8 and 4 (to be fair the eldest has ASD so the meltdowns can be quite extreme). I had similar ages to you during lockdown and it was hell a lot of the time. I remember being really relieved to get back to work for a rest from the screaming and endless playing! It has got better for me, so I imagine if your two have no extra needs it will be even better for you in just a year or two. Hang in there. If you can make friends with other parents who have similar ages that will be a big help, for some solidarity and distraction

Totally normal but I'm going to be the cliche and say you'll look back and miss it now that I'm in the realm of hormonal pain in the ass twins who ask for money and stay in their pits all day

Yes these are difficult ages - mine were about these ages in the first lockdown so you can imagine how I enjoyed that time, balancing both sets of needs with no nursery, no classes and no friends and trying to work as well!

It really does get better once the youngest is somewhere between 2 and 3, and when the eldest starts school you can focus on the little one during the school day then the eldest (with the little one tagging along) once school is over - clubs, play dates, playground trips, baking etc. You will get there OP!

Will your 14m old nap in a pushchair? So
you can play with the eldest whilst they sleep? Quick walk then wheel the pushchair into the house.

Tbh I think it’s fine if everyone has some downtime whilst the eldest naps. Don’t put pressure on yourself to do stuff for the sake of it because it’s what you think you ought to be doing.

Probably.
I knew I wouldn't enjoy time around children so I never had them.
Best decision so far.

Totally normal (at least for me anyway).

It does get to a stage where suddenly they play together and leave you alone. Unfortunately, in my experience, it's when the youngest gets to age 4.

Mine are now 4&7 and to be honest, I do still have days where I really don't enjoy looking after them, playing games, getting up every 2 seconds to wipe arse of get them food. It's not really fun is it? If we're all honest with ourselves. But it does get better.

Nothing wrong with naps in the car OP.

So normal as everyone's said! Mine are now not-long-turned-6 and almost-3 (and our third is due in the autumn). It's sooo much easier when the youngest child is nearing 3 I think. Found this with our eldest and again now with our second. Although our second does have some gross motor delay due to a few mild physical conditions so active outdoor play is a bit trickier than it is for most children of his age. Also our two play pretty well together now for periods of time and of course in term time the eldest is at school 5 days a week. I usually have two days off with my youngest each week and my DH has one day with him too.

I think 14 months is a super hard age for the little one tbh although luckily both of mine did have pretty reliable nap time then which helped. I would focus on the eldest during that time doing things we couldn't do easily with youngest around like card games, crafts, role play etc. My eldest still always enjoyed local church playgroups etc even when she was almost 5, the staff and other parents used to make a special effort to make a fuss of the elder children and there were always crafts and things she could do if the toys were a bit boring for her. Play dough and kinetic sand were also winners with them at that age. Doesn't matter if the little one just throws it around (as mine used to do!), let them get on with it then hoover after. Baths are good to kill some time too. Possibly soft play if your youngest will play for a bit in an enclosed toddler area (mine wouldn't but youngest couldn't walk until 21 months anyway so as I say, that complicated things). We used to invite other local families around with similar age kids too and everyone would help entertain each other. And of course, theres the television!

I found my older child had fantastic concentration so often an activity would last well. We had board games and she could do those too. Simple ones!

I also used to go to all sorts of days out and she enjoyed things for hours. She could do Duplo and toys like that at nearly 4. I agree with structure for a day and seeing other families if possible.

I don't feel as you do OP. I have recently started doing the odd bit of work and I miss being with them full time. I don't dread work and I definitely find it easier than being a full time mum at home, but I love being their for their first everything. That's not to say I don't find it exhausting at times because I definitely do! I dream of being with them six days a week then my husband having them on his own on a Sunday so I get a full day to myself.

Some part of some days I prioritise the youngest and try to occupy older toddler around that. Other times I focus on eldest and youngest bobs along for the ride so to speak. I split our time into early and late morning, nap time and early and late afternoons. I try to be home for naps if possible as I use that time to rest or recharge myself. They aren't both asleep until 8.30-9pm and are up at 6-6.30 every day so nap time is critical for my survival!

We do so much child led activities and only book one or two things on a week so that I'm under less pressure to get bags packed, double cloth nappies ready and snacks etc, out the door by X o'clock. Much easier to go with the flow some days.

It's ok Op it's just you are tired. Gets so much easier once they can entertain themselves with Lego, books, colouring etc. and you will soon have lots more things to do as they get older. Also gets better when you can have proper conversation with them.

This ages and that age gap is full on and hard work. I used to seek out playgroups and use them to be with other folks. Structure to the day is vital too. Had to have a plan and not truly believe that activities so often touted as ideas like baking , are either going to last more than 10 minutes or be incredibly frustrating and messy

I used to, but it is better and better. My 7 year old has her moments, but overall is a dream and a lovely companion.

We did lots of outings. I found it easier to have a set routine. So breakfast, get ready, go soft play/park etc. lunch , nap for younger, 1:1 with older, then play in garden or do crafts /baking (younger in high chair)
Tv/screens while cooking tea.
Minimal toys out at a time to limit mess