I'm quitting teaching, I've decided, AIBU?

We have had one person on here describing how they hoped they would be in a fatal car crash with their children in the car so they didn't need to face a day at school. I've worked in a mental health setting and I am pretty sure that would qualify as a mental health issue. I wish people would stop deciding how other people feel.

I'm only up to page 5,but the bullying behaviour towards Werweisswohin, on this thread is sickening. Some extremely immature comments too.

At last a voice of common sense, it’s so unreasonable that the poster can just ‘go off sick’ receive full pay and affect the children’s education at the same time.
Just work your notice like other people have to do.

Because teachers are made to feel guilty for taking time off, even when at death’s door. It’s an endemic problem in teaching. I was in A&E overnight once after knocking myself out after fainting and despite being advised by the hospital to take a week off, I was back at work (with a black eye and concussion) in a few hours because I didn’t want to let Year 11 down. That is what the pressure is like.

If you have been a teacher, you would know this.

She will be seeing out her notice period on sick leave. Which she wouldn't have to take it at all if the senior leadership had fostered a healthy workplace dynamic. They clearly haven't, considering they are emailing during her holidays. She will have enough evidence of stress with those alone and will justifiably get the sick leave.

If the school didn't want this to happen they shouldn't have let her be treated but this way. But as someone who has worked very closely to senior leadership in schools, I suspect they would be happy for her to leave and may actually be encouraging it.

OP, there's a good book called "Four thousand weeks" that put a lot of things into perspective for me.
Life is short, there are no prizes for self sacrifice on the altar of work.
Look after your own physical and mental health and I wish you a speedy recovery.

I've worked in jobs where I have had a 3 month notice period but I've never had a deadline of when I can choose to resign. If OP hands in her notice today she can't leave in 3 months as that would be the 25th November, if she'd given her notice in a month ago she still couldn't leave until the end of term in December, It really isn't the same as another job with a 3 month notice period.

I've also been able to use my annual leave in my notice period so my 3 months notice actually meant me being in work for 8 weeks with two period of 2 weeks holiday which made it bearable.

The only bully so far has called someone (not the OP) a 'sad, sad cow'.

So being bullied and feeling anxious and stressed as a result are ‘normal’ emotions we should just have to put up with at work?

The OP should just get on with being bullied and her school doing nothing about it then, should she? Get on with going into work every day feeing dread and fear?

We wouldn’t expect a child to have to do that, so we can’t expect an adult to, either.

I don’t disagree with your essential point that we do need to ensure we’re not labelling normal emotions as mental illness. I talk about this with my students a lot, actually. But in this case there is toxicity going on that is making work unbearable and I don’t think anyone should be claiming that is normal and acceptable and something to just get on with.

If it's all so cut and dried why is she asking if she is being unreasonable?

That's the real question.

Best of luck OP. Don’t let the bullies upset you on here.

But if OP decided on June 1st that she was going to hand in her notice the earliest she could leave is the following January.

If she decided November 1st, then she has to work until Easter.

March 1st she’d have to wait until summer.

depending on when decision is made it can be so much longer than 3 months notice sadly

@PrettyPinkShoes

She doesn’t just feel unhappy.

She’s being bullied and the school are doing nothing.

She has chronic health conditions that are being exacerbated by anxiety.

She has provided all of this information. Stop perpetuating this idea that she’s a shirker when she’s not.

Unless her doctor sets a time period of sickness/recovery she shouldn't be setting a date.

I wish everyone would stop labelling any emotions as 'mental health'.

There was a huge debate in The Times on this last week with real MH professionals saying it has to stop.

Normal feeling like hating work, not getting on with colleagues, wanting to leave, not enjoying going to work are normal emotions.

They are not a 'sickness' and it's doing a disservice to people who have serious mental health conditions.

Now, it seems that anyone who finds something uncomfortable and wants to be somewhere else, says it's a MH issue.

It’s not 3 months notice, if you hand your notice in after 31st May you can’t leave till Christmas so at some points of the year it’s half a year’s notice. That’s not normal at all.

That sounds horrible.
Is there any other info not in the opening post that would affect responses?

rtft - she also has two chronic health conditions. She is sick.

So many teachers have never left the playground.

That is the reality.

For all of the passionate, inspiring professionals I’ve worked with, who just love educating the humans of the future, I’ve worked with twice as many mediocre nonentities who got into teaching because they love wielding power over children and the adults they ineffectively manage. Any colleague who is competent and well liked becomes persona non grata with these types very quickly and the bullying starts, because they have huge inferiority complexes and rather than trying to become better at their jobs, they’d rather just destroy any perceived competition.

It’s a shame. It really is. So many teachers should not be in the profession. As I always say, it’s a caring, people centred job at its heart. Schools should be therefore be wonderful places to work. But so many become petty dictatorships because they’re run by over promoted idiots in Next suits.

I sympathise with anyone who's in a job they hate or where they don't get on with their colleagues.

It is not unreasonable at all to want to leave.

And most jobs with any seniority have a 3 (or 6) month notice period.

I do think it is wrong though to label unhappiness as a reason to stay away from work and call it an illness , and to ask a dr to sign you off.

The reasons the OP gives are very subjective and no one here can know if they are like she says. Favouritism and the rest are subjective issues.

I think if the OP can detach herself emotionally and carry on working her notice while looking for another job is the best way.

It's also wrong for other posters here to label other posters as 'bullies'.
This is AIBU - OP could have posted in Employment/ work or any other part of MN. AIBU is known for straight speaking.

Challenging someone's plans isn't bullying- it's putting over another point of view.

Just because you don't agree doesn't make it bullying.

I’ve been off work with stress and anxiety before and my GP signed me off work. I got paid in full @thequickbrowndog i think you need to go see your GP. Also, on a side note, as you’re a teacher you’ll probably get work easy enough.