I'm quitting teaching, I've decided, AIBU?

Rude much? Nothing wrong with @Wakeywake comment. You can’t be rude to everybody who points out that people leave jobs every day. I get that being a teacher is a hard job and being bullied isn’t something anyone should put up with, but you seem very hostile to anyone who disagrees with you and a lot of so called “bullying” in this thread is not bullying imo. As someone who states they are being bullied, I would hope you would recognise the difference between actual bullying and someone having a different view point to yourself.

Absolutely! And there is just so much work required to do after school hours in order for you to do the work you need to during school hours, which are mostly taken up by teaching and duties. I have 150 minutes of PPA a week to teach a full timetable of 5 year groups and 6 GCSE classes of different abilities, it is nowhere near enough and just expected that you will complete work in your own time.

When I worked office jobs with flexitime, if you came in at 7.30, you could leave at 4pm and have an hour for lunch, breaks when needed and you wouldn't take work home (except at one peak time a year and when I was in management - but you could make up for this later on). If you do this in teaching, you will be completely unprepared for lessons - and that's without SLT doing learning walks to check you're not sitting down!

perhaps this post should be moved to the staff room board, as AIBU will draw people who don’t agree and they are then getting their posts deleted.

@Delilahhhh I'm so sorry for what you experienced and glad you were able to protect yourself and your baby by going off until your mat leave and not coming back!

Would you mind if I asked how this worked, as in at what point you went off? Did you have to start mat leave early or were you off sick before your last month of pregnancy?

I'm currently pregnant (14w) and had a lot of health issues last year especially, and some in previous years from work-related stress. My plan was to hold out until the Spring half term which is just before my due date but I had my first INSET back last week and I'm dreading it, I can already see how the school has had bright ideas with not a lot of thought behind them, that require soo much problem-solving with one hand tied behind our back because of the lack of resources. And that's even before the time it takes to lesson plan before beginning a day of work.

I also planned to take a year out and come back part time for some stability but I'm now feeling like this really isn't a job I want to come back to and ideally I wouldn't even be returning until my due date. I've even been considering starting mat leave early but just need to look at the finances.

YABU! I work in a state school. My boss is mostly lovely, very supportive. Fab comradery between all staff.

Friends in other schools in the area say the same with the exception of 1 school where they have one of those ghastly ivory tower heads.

If you enjoy the teaching then just find another school.

Dramatic, much? Just quit if you're not enjoying your job, people do that every day.

Why would that be unreasonable ? Doesn't matter what job you do if you're miserable then you should leave. Good luck.

Best wishes @thequickbrowndog I'm sorry you have been treated so badly 💐

@PrettyPinkShoes

The OP doesn't need counselling to see why she is being bullied. It’s not her fault that someone else is choosing to take out their own issues on her.

The OP doesn’t need to change. Her bully does.

You are doing a lot of victim blaming on this thread and it’s not painting you in a very good light.

I’ve been bullied at work in more than one school. I know why. I’m clever, competent, capable, very well qualified and popular with my colleagues and pupils. I’m passionate and enthusiastic about my work. These attributes consistently threaten ineffective people I work with and who I have worked with in the past in management positions. I might also add that I am slim and conventionally attractive which has caused issues with female managers who are not those things. I can’t help how I look and I can’t help how other people feel about me being more competent than them. I don’t need fucking counselling to get to the bottom of what the issues are - there’s nothing wrong with me. It’s the same for the OP. She’s an experienced and capable teacher being bullied by someone who isn’t. It’s not rocket science is it?

The people who need counselling are the bullies. They are the ones with the inferiority complexes that cause them to lash out at others.

Suggesting that people who are bullied somehow attract or encourage this behaviour is really problematic and if you really are a teacher then I am very concerned as to how you deal with pastoral matters at school.

Well, I didn't see it- I did try to read all her posts, but if I missed something I apologise- there is life outside MN on a Sunday morning.

I didn't mean to be harsh @thequickbrowndog

You aren't unreasonable at all for wanting to leave a toxic work place.

But my opinion was that you need to look at this in two ways- is it the current school or is it teaching per se you hate now?

I don't know your financial circumstances, but if you can leave work and not find another job immediately, that's great.

If you need the income, then it's best to leave on the best terms possible, under the circumstances, to protect your future employment if you need references. And have a Plan B so you aren't stuck in another job you take in desperation and end up hating it.

My instinct is that once you hand in your notice you may find that getting through the term isn't as bad as you imagine because you'll have made the emotional decision to leave.

All the best with it.

YANBU to leave but YABU to do it now. You should have handed in your notice to leave now not “go off sick” as you’ve said in another comment.

It’s not like that in all schools.

I am a teacher and my advice stands. Don't walk away- find another school.

If you have existing health issues then that is very valid and if you can be signed off for those, that's valid. You didn't explain that clearly at the start and as several posters have pointed out.

I don't think you should throw the baby out with the bathwater.

All the best anyway whatever you choose.

@thequickbrowndog - I don't blame you one bit!

I'm a qualified teacher myself (primary) but never went into it as the pandemic hit whilst doing my training. I saw enough on placement tbh.

Have you thought about teaching abroad? I taught in Asia which was a fab experience.

I think going off on sick (being signed off) is probably the best thing if you are desperate to leave and can't stick it out until Christmas.

Good luck!

Could you look at specialist schools. Smaller sen that still do exams etc. Or tutoring? If your not happy you know you have to do the right thing for you.

This has already been answered about how many schools she’s been in to.

In my view once a teacher always a teacher! But as others have said I would consider other branches of teaching. How about primary school? Teaching abroad? (be it private, high school, or in a university setting). Tutoring? Purchasing a tutoring franchise? Teaching online? All of these would offer a very different fresh set of challenges - and in some cases potentially better lifestyle and pay packages. Your qualifications and experience would give you a significant head start over other candidates for any of these branches of teaching.

Do it. I quit 4 years ago. Yes I have taken a big pay cut but much happier now!

This is very good advice.

As teachers, we all know of pupils who are bullied and end up being shuttled from school to school for a fresh start.

It's often a disaster because the bullying continues because the person being bullied has no strategies to cope.

Hard as it may be to analyse it, if someone is being bullied, doesn't get on with their colleagues and can't stand them, this requires some self-analysis so they don't just swap one set of issues for the same in another job.

Maybe some counselling would help?
The valid questions are why am I being bullied, what should I do to stop this, how can I not allow it to happen again?

Extracting yourself from the situation may be a short term measure.
There is always friction in all workplaces. But how you deal with that is the key.

What isn't clear @thequickbrowndog is if this is the only school you've been in and how previous schools compare.

If this experience is unique to this school, then you should think again about chucking in teaching.

You also need to consider references from your current employer and leaving under a cloud may impact on that as would a medical record of stress/ sickness for MH reasons.

Just tread carefully and consider all your options.

You're not unreasonable to want to get out of your school, but maybe consider a different school before leaving teaching. I've worked in two schools, which have both been nothing like this. Part-time colleagues often have an 'out of office' or email signature that gives details of working days, and I'm sure people try to respect that.

I think it’s the universal problem of toxic people seeking power. Each school is like a little kingdom of its own, and it only takes one type b cluster personality and the trickle down is huge. I worked with one who cries every time she was asked to take responsibility for anything, so she gets out of working but always has time for persecuting junior staff.

Funnily enough, the school has recruitment and retention problems.

Look after your mental health first. Australia have sabbaticals and Canada used to have compulsory sick leave, so you had to take as holiday what you hadn’t taken sick. UK offers no such work/life balance and it reaps what it sows.

If UK teachers were paid overtime the costs would be immense, so I expect you have already done as much work as you will take sick leave. That How To Leave Teaching and Thrive Facebook page is great, btw.

the vast majority of teachers who become managers are entirely unsuited to the demands of the role, both intellectually and on a practical level

I‘m not sure that’s particularly fair. Most managers in primary are trying to do it alongside too much other work and not enough support, time or training.

Unfortunately @Lanneederniere most MATs are just an extreme case of poor management in teaching. And, where those at the bottom are buying glue sticks for class from personal money, the eye watering sums they pay management really grate.

Personally, I think the biggest problem with school management is the governance structure. In every school I've heard of the governors just back the head, regardless of how terrible the head is at their job.