Page 8 | Alone on holiday

RecoveringMillennial · 2024-08-24T21:28:07+00:00

Feeling more upset about this than I usually do, so wondering if I’m overreacting. Please be kind. On holiday with a group of friends (couples). Two of us overslept and missed dinner. Other hungry friend has food brought by DP. When I say I’m hungry later (10:30ish) DH says I’ll be fine to go and fetch something on my own. Only a 5/10 minute walk, but in a foreign country and late. I can’t explain how hurt I was by this and I can’t get over the lack of care or consideration. I also suspect he didn’t want to leave the bar. He does have form for being selfish so I don’t know if this is worse or just the final straw.

Changingplace · 24/08/2024 23:06

FatherConfesserTheGuesser · 24/08/2024 23:00

Sheesh, are your standards so low?

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Sheesh are you so incapable of understanding that people should act like adults? I’d honestly not need a male chaperone to walk 5/10mins in a tourist resort to buy food, I find it ridiculous that anyone would be upset by this.

Original poster

RecoveringMillennial · 24/08/2024 23:05

longestlurkerever · 24/08/2024 23:02

So you wouldn't walk around Bristol at 8am?

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That’s not what they’re saying. It’s being aware of danger and protecting ourselves (and others) where possible

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Alwaystired23 · 24/08/2024 23:03

RecoveringMillennial · 24/08/2024 22:53

I was expecting mumsnet to be harsh but I would never let a friend go somewhere on their own at that time in our own city, let alone abroad. I’m genuinely shocked that so many people would.
I don’t usually sleep for so long so I was amazed when I woke and saw the time. Hotel had stopped service by that time. I didn’t expect him to go for me, but with me yes - in an unfamiliar place, late at night.

I'm surprised, too. Usually, on mn, the dangers of women alone at night are discussed, tips on how to stay safe etc. Yet tonight, you're perfectly fine in an unfamiliar country late at night on your own op 🤔.

longestlurkerever · 24/08/2024 23:02

Scammersarescum · 24/08/2024 23:02

Don't be so ridiculous.

A woman not wanting to walk about in a foreign country, at night, on her own is not spoilt. She us aware of the risks to her personal safety.

A woman in Birstall just down the road from me was dragged into a car and raped at 8am last week.

No decent partner would put his socialising and beers over the safety of his wife.

Stop gaslighting women

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So you wouldn't walk around Bristol at 8am?

Changingplace · 24/08/2024 23:02

RecoveringMillennial · 24/08/2024 22:53

I was expecting mumsnet to be harsh but I would never let a friend go somewhere on their own at that time in our own city, let alone abroad. I’m genuinely shocked that so many people would.
I don’t usually sleep for so long so I was amazed when I woke and saw the time. Hotel had stopped service by that time. I didn’t expect him to go for me, but with me yes - in an unfamiliar place, late at night.

Where on earth do you live that a grown adult wouldn’t go and get food in your home city? Where are on you holiday?

You’re being really hard work, you’re an adult just go and get some food you don’t need a babysitter unless you’re on holiday in some war torn location.

It would really irritate me if someone I was on holiday with slept for hours then needed their hand holding to grab a pizza or similar.

Original poster

RecoveringMillennial · 24/08/2024 23:02

This isn’t happening now. One of our group agreed that I shouldn’t go alone and came with me. I feel so hurt that he wouldn’t care enough. If that makes me a princess then I am.

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longestlurkerever · 24/08/2024 23:02

I don't really relate to the "unfamiliar city" thing tbh. You've said it's 5-10,mins walk. You're not likely to get lost. I'd relish a stroll somewhere new. It's not even that late.

Scammersarescum · 24/08/2024 23:02

lightsandtunnels · 24/08/2024 22:54

As an adult yourself OP I would expect you to be responsible for your own food? I think you're behaving a little spoilt. I'm just wondering - is your friend whose DH got her some food someone that you are envious of usually?
Can't you get a snack at the bar and then get up early for breakfast?

Don't be so ridiculous.

A woman not wanting to walk about in a foreign country, at night, on her own is not spoilt. She us aware of the risks to her personal safety.

A woman in Birstall just down the road from me was dragged into a car and raped at 8am last week.

No decent partner would put his socialising and beers over the safety of his wife.

Stop gaslighting women

SeaweedSundress · 24/08/2024 23:02

RecoveringMillennial · 24/08/2024 22:53

I was expecting mumsnet to be harsh but I would never let a friend go somewhere on their own at that time in our own city, let alone abroad. I’m genuinely shocked that so many people would.
I don’t usually sleep for so long so I was amazed when I woke and saw the time. Hotel had stopped service by that time. I didn’t expect him to go for me, but with me yes - in an unfamiliar place, late at night.

Where is your home city, this terrifying place where you wouldn’t let a friend walk five minutes after dark to get food? War-torn, sniper territory?

Honestly, how do people this helpless get up in the morning and start the day?

FatherConfesserTheGuesser · 24/08/2024 23:00

lightsandtunnels · 24/08/2024 22:54

As an adult yourself OP I would expect you to be responsible for your own food? I think you're behaving a little spoilt. I'm just wondering - is your friend whose DH got her some food someone that you are envious of usually?
Can't you get a snack at the bar and then get up early for breakfast?

Sheesh, are your standards so low?

HolyPeaches · 24/08/2024 22:58

Okay, so you need food.

What country/resort are you in?

If safe to go alone, then go alone!

If unsafe, ask someone in the group to accompany you a 5/10 minute walk to the nearest shop/takeaway. Now.

Posting on Mumsnet isn’t going to cure your hunger.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 24/08/2024 22:57

Ginmonkeyagain · 24/08/2024 22:40

So ... you overslept and missed dinner (presumably your own fault) and now want someone else to get you food? Why can you not get your own food?

Edited

This. You are presumably a grown woman. It's not difficult to go out and get your own food unless you drip feed and say you are miles away from a shop / takeaway

BeachParty · 24/08/2024 22:56

NuffSaidSam · 24/08/2024 22:44

I'm with DH!

He's had his dinner and is now having some drinks.

Your friend got some good but presumably you weren't hungry then and didn't join them.

You've now decided you're hungry and you want him to go out and get you food despite being something you could easily do yourself.

And you think he's unreasonable and selfish and not that you're a spoilt little princess?

Sorry, I agree with this.
You've overslept, you've suddenly decided you now need food. (nothing wrong with that, I do the same)
Your husband sounds settled at the bar though? Maybe he thought he could relax and have a few at the bar? Why should he suddenly have to think about your food needs now you've woken up, are you not your own person?!

Rachie1973 · 24/08/2024 22:55

What time did you wake up?

lightsandtunnels · 24/08/2024 22:54

As an adult yourself OP I would expect you to be responsible for your own food? I think you're behaving a little spoilt. I'm just wondering - is your friend whose DH got her some food someone that you are envious of usually?
Can't you get a snack at the bar and then get up early for breakfast?

Original poster

RecoveringMillennial · 24/08/2024 22:53

I was expecting mumsnet to be harsh but I would never let a friend go somewhere on their own at that time in our own city, let alone abroad. I’m genuinely shocked that so many people would.
I don’t usually sleep for so long so I was amazed when I woke and saw the time. Hotel had stopped service by that time. I didn’t expect him to go for me, but with me yes - in an unfamiliar place, late at night.

OP posts:

rosyvalentine · 24/08/2024 22:53

Alwaystired23 · 24/08/2024 22:49

My dh would never expect me to go off wondering on my own in an unfamiliar country to find food. He'd come with me, if not for my safety, but to give me company. My dh would also have woken me up for dinner in the 1st place.

Same

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 24/08/2024 22:51

This is not anything to get upset about. Just have a sleep and some water and a good breakfast in the morning. Your DH has not done anything wrong. Start tomorrow afresh without any resentment.

Alwaystired23 · 24/08/2024 22:49

My dh would never expect me to go off wondering on my own in an unfamiliar country to find food. He'd come with me, if not for my safety, but to give me company. My dh would also have woken me up for dinner in the 1st place.

longestlurkerever · 24/08/2024 22:46

I this is a bit lame of you OP. You overslept and missed dinner which is reasonably antisocial in itself and now want your dh to prioritise getting you food over whatever he was enjoying doing for no particular reason. Hard work.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 24/08/2024 22:44

I would just go and get some food , like I would if I was on holiday without DH. Why have you waited until 10:30 to decide you're hungry, when you woke up you knew you'd missed dinner. Does the bar not have bar snacks?

NuffSaidSam · 24/08/2024 22:44

I'm with DH!

He's had his dinner and is now having some drinks.

Your friend got some good but presumably you weren't hungry then and didn't join them.

You've now decided you're hungry and you want him to go out and get you food despite being something you could easily do yourself.

And you think he's unreasonable and selfish and not that you're a spoilt little princess?

Original poster

RecoveringMillennial · 24/08/2024 22:43

Justkeeprollingalong · 24/08/2024 22:32

Missing the point here but you overslept all day until dinner time?

No, it was supposed to be a nap, but I woke up 4 hours later

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Original poster

RecoveringMillennial · 24/08/2024 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the poster's request

I don’t know. I have asked. He said he never thought

OP posts:

Ginmonkeyagain · 24/08/2024 22:40

So ... you overslept and missed dinner (presumably your own fault) and now want someone else to get you food? Why can you not get your own food?