To ask why you have just one child?

Had DS when I was 41
tried for another didn’t happen and then after a couple of year just decided to enjoy our life and family as is.
as grandparents are older we don’t get any family help other than maybe the odd night of babysitting maybe once every couple of months.

I found PP really rough. I don’t think I could do it again

Because I can't be arsed to have more

Preeclampsia and a traumatic birth put me off trying for another for a while. Then I miscarried early in a couple of pregnancies, then hit perimenopausal so it became too late. DD always wanted a sibling but it never happened.

Whilst I love my child, I found the whole thing fucking tedious, brain-numbing, smothering, and don't want to go through all that again.

Always thought I’d have 2 children but I split up with my son’s dad just after his first birthday. My partner now wasn’t keen on having a child and was happy taking on my son “as his own”. As I already had a child this wasn’t a dealbreaker for me so that was that.

I sometimes wonder what life would have been like with a second child but my son is happy and content and we are more financially secure as a result.

Firstly for environmental reasons.

Secondly because it was so bloody hard because no sleep at all and DC, DH and I all had zero chill. Pretty sure I had significant PND and DH has PTSD.

I had one, planning for one but thinking “we can always have another if we fancy” and now it’s literally my worst nightmare. It would significantly change our lifestyle on so many levels.

Few reasons. Main one is I had her very young (as in teenage young) and wasn't ready to have another when I was still a teenager to keep their ages close.

When I started to feel like it might be a possibility she was already 10 and it just seemed like too much of an age gap, plus I hated pregnancy and early motherhood and didn't really have any desire to repeat it. We were enjoying having an older more independent child! I've never been broody or particularly maternal so I didn't honestly want another and neither did husband, so it wasn't a hard decision!

(I also grew up with six siblings which might have had some impact on my choice 🙃)

I'm 33 now and content with my decision. A few people have asked if I'll have more now I'm more settled in life, the answer is still absolutely fucking not. I love my daughter, I love our family, but I am definitely one and done.

I was 41 and DH was 46 when DD born (no fertility issues,we met quite late decided even later to try). We would’ve needed to have 2 close together and financially couldn’t afford it but also emotionally felt we were bloody lucky to have had one. There’s no-one missing here, I have no longing for another.

We also have zero family help (DH’s are dead and mine aren’t local or capable).

We actually had a pregnancy scare after DD and I cried bad tears which confirmed it.

Difficult pregnancy, ectopic pregnancy after, DH has two other children, I don’t have any family help and working full time. I’ve been broody the last year and would have happily had another but DH is done

I was brought up in a large family and I was surplus to requirement. I was another girl when they were only trying again to have a boy!!!
I wanted my child to know that they were just what I wanted, perfect in every way.
We did however adopt when our first was an adult because we had empty nest syndrome.

I have one child who I love the bones of. I frequently tell them I struck perfection on my first try, so why try again? It's true to a point. But I never met a man I wanted another child with, and as a single parent, never had finances that would allow it anyway.

My only regret now I'm old, is that my single child alone carries the burden of my age and infirmity.

but I still think the life I was able to give them, financially and attention wise, was worth it for them.

I'll never know if I was right, and neither will my child. That's life, full of decisions and we can never look back and say if we made the right of wrong ones. We just made those decisions made on the facts we had at the time.

Housing, we can only afford a 2 bedroom house. Which we love. So part of it is that we don't want to move, the other part is that we just can't. I know people manage but we didn't think we could cope.

Then we got to a point we were considering it and then I fell very ill and almost died. My condition has taken me 3 years to get under control, but I rely on medication which is not compatible with pregnancy. So I would need to risk becoming incredibly sick to have a healthy pregnancy. DH is terrified he will be basically raising a baby alone whilst I get back on track to recover. I can't say i blame him.

DS was an unexpected result of v early relationship sex. Before I found out I was expecting, I broke it off on realising new partner had a wife and kids 😂🫣 Told him when I found out, was told to get an abortion. Told him when baby was born, got ‘ok’ as a WhatsApp response. Told him the door would always be open for contact if he wanted it, haven’t heard since!

Other than 0 input from him (not on birth certificate, don’t claim CMS as a pride thing really), pregnancy was rough, parenting in the early years was rough, balancing work with home life was rough! DS is amazing and I’m lucky to have him, but I know even with a great new partner I’d just never want another baby. It’s HARD and I’m not naturally maternal (I find that ‘it just comes when the baby is in your arms’ thing crap!)

I'm finding this, also. She's my little side-kick.

Oh yes I forgot the hypermesis, I was literally helpless during most of my pregnancy. Even if I had wanted to have a second I wouldn’t have been able to care for a small toddler solo while that ill. It was horrendous. That was with medication as well, it helpfully stopped me from throwing up so I didn’t end up dehydrated but the constant extreme nausea was unbearable.

I would also say I never really had the urge to have a child, I know a lot of women talk about it but I think I had a twinge in my late 20’s and then got over it fast.

Infertility (DD herself was only conceived after much intervention and none of the treatments to conceive a second worked).

I would have loved more children.

Should have also added that we are quite happy with one. We have a quiet calm household and get to do lots of things that we wouldn't be able to afford with more kids. By the time we'd had her, we were too old to do it again a couple of years later, it's knackering.

I'm finding this thread incredibly moving.

This ❤️

Had my son quite young and split with his dad shortly after. Tried with my (now) husband to conceive for many years but due to complications for both of us, it wasn't meant to be. We could have tried ICSI but for a princely sum with a very low success rate, and I don't think my body would have coped with the drugs (I don't react well to progesterone). After four years we accepted it probably wasn't going to happen for us.

Significant illnesses came on in my case after childbirth. Additional needs for child. Separated from child's father when child was a baby.

I'd have liked 2 but it didn't seem wise to try for another.

Took 7 cycles of IVF to get pregnant