To ask why you have just one child?

I love dd but I don't find parenting fun. There are lovely momenrs but a lot of hard moments too. The parenting scene is hard ...all those baby groups! .. Plus I like money and holidays.

I hated being pregnant (HG throughout), and had absolutely no desire to go through it again.

Partly because my first pregnancy was very difficult.
partly because dc was a high needs baby and it nearly broke me.
mostly because we want to be able to provide a certain standard of living for our family and our child and we can’t do that with more children. I know we can manage whatever university is best for one child, but with more there might have to be compromises.

Secondary infertility and 2 miscarriages that almost killed me

Serious illness for the first 4 1/2 years of my DS's life - me, then my dad, then me again, on top of a chronic condition that makes my life very difficult anyway. Got pregnant when he was 5 but had an awful, traumatic miscarriage at 13 weeks and could never face trying again. Age was not on my side by that point.

Separated from DCs dad in the first year of birth. Not interested in finding anyone else.

I adopted (on my own) because I never liked my ex's enough to want their babies.
Although DC is absolutely wonderful and I wouldn't change a hair on their head, I miss being me and not 'just a mum'.
I'm (much) older than most parents with children their age and I have my own personal and career goals which I really want to continue to pursue.
It's just about trying to achieve balance for me, the demands placed on me as a parent verses my own personal desires/aspirations.
I hope I can be a good parent, there's a chance I can be to one, I'm pretty sure I couldn't to two.

Because my 3 year old daughter is the biggest miracle in the world and has completed us in ways I will never have the words to describe.
I was too unwell with complex health needs to carry her, so my sister in law carried her as our surrogate ❤️
without my sister in law, I don’t think I would be here today - I couldn’t live without being my daughters mum.
of course I’m sad (perhaps guilt is a better word) that we won’t be able to give her a sibling, but she will always be so showered in love, care and attention I hope it balances.

Took longer than expected to get pregnant
Difficult birth
Long recovery from birth
Am an older parent
Can't afford it
Happy with just one

I had multiple pregnancy losses before having my son. It was a miracle he survived his birth. I just felt so happy and content when he was born I just knew I didn't want any more. I'm one of 3 and thought I'd defo have at least 2.

she was enough for us and completed our lives

A combination of things. DD had two major surgeries, two less major surgeries, has ASD, ADHD and learning difficulties. She also collects diagnosis like they're Pokémon. I dealt with most of this as a lone parent, and had no desire for another until I met DH.

When I met DH and we became serious, we discussed having another child when DD was 11/12.
When DD was 9, we found out DH has a syndrome that makes him completely infertile. DH and I struggle with the ethics of sperm donation and the 18 years of anonymity, but we also don't know anyone who we could ask to be a known donor.

We don't feel comfortable adopting at the moment. We've discussed it and we don't think it's fair for a child to be adopted due to infertility. We don't want to adopt a child as our last resort because that's not fair on them.

We're both in therapy to come to terms with DHs diagnosis so we're not ruling out adoption forever. But it's safe to say no more children for the foreseeable.

Very, very unwell baby from birth, surgeries etc. Child totally fine now but I was paranoid it may have been something genetic, so I stopped with one.

I wouldn't risk putting another baby through that.

This is so lovely to read. We have an 18 month old and I think are done but just not 100% sure as I'm worried we'll regret it. I found your post really reassuring

Some women say they have one child but they really have two; their MIL child being their second.

Can’t have more

Missed miscarriage, Hyperemesis Gravidarum, unsupportive GP, undiagnosed prenatal depression, horrendous birth with forceps that has caused long term problems, birth trauma, postnatal depression, had to have op due to birth damage, COVID hitting during the baby years so we had no family support, baby that wouldn’t sleep until they were over 2 (not even naps), anxiety and depression stemming from the whole experience. Was also told that if I had a second, HG was likely and the damage done by the first birth would get worse. Also lost trust in medical professionals.

She is the best thing that has ever happened to us and we love her so much, but I have never been the same since her birth.

We always assumed we'd have more than one, but I had endometriosis. This went into remission during my pregnancy but came back with a bang post-natal. The pain was unbearable and the only thing that brought it under control was hormonal contraception. I was already 35 when I had DS, so pretty soon it was my 40th, on a Mirena coil by then but still with occasional breakthrough pain.

We just told ourselves the age-gap would be too big, I might not get pregnant anyway, the risk of going full-on endo was off-putting - and accepted that DS would be our one and only.

Why do you ask?

I’ve come across quite a lot in recent weeks. I have one child and it is insulting to have to explain why that is. Sometimes it is for really sensitive reasons, as you can see on this thread. Do women who have two or three or four children have to do the same thing? I highly doubt it.

Partner became abusive the day my baby was born.

This was me before DS2 was born - and I held that view through the various difficulties we had. I would still have felt very lucky and blessed if we had only had one. I did want to keep trying and it worked out for me - but I never lost sight of how lucky I was to have one child.

What kind of article is it you’re writing)

We don’t feel the need to have more than one.
I had HG.
I had a traumatic birth.
We have a wonderful charmed life, and are able to give her a fantastic upbringing.

I didn't want more.