To feel embarrassed but ask you anyway to teach me, a grown woman, how to look after myself, please?

Sorry you are struggling. Be kind to yourself. You are taking medication to care for yourself properly and your DH is supportive- that's great. I think small easier steps may be more achievable, an improvement is easier than perfection. You could order an Internet shop of easy to prepare foods or healthier ready-meals rather than going to the shops and cooking from scratch. Get outside for short walks, it makes you feel good. Treat yourself to something you enjoy like a book, magazine, TV, game, whatever you're into.

I also went for a facial after years of never putting a thing on my skin. Thought it would “wipe the slate clean” as it were. The lady recommended some products right for my skin which I still use today. I also open windows wherever possible 😂

Food options:

Jacket potatoes - easy. Buy a packet of 4 baking potatoes, pick one and stab it a few times, then microwave it for around 3 min each side. Then fill it with something- baked beans is easy, or something else prepare like chili or cottage cheese.

Another easy one is something like bulgur wheat. Measure out half a cup, put it in a pan, add a bit of a stock cube (less than half), add water to cover by more than an inch, then boil. Add some frozen mixed veg from a bag after around 8 min. Also add some frozen broad beans if you like.

I'm vegan, but have to say something like meat (or protein of your choice!) and 2 types of boiled veg is easy to do as well.

I like the above because (apart from the meat) they won't go off if you change your mind and don't make them :)

Shower and clean clothes every morning, it will perk you up and make you feel a bit more in charge.

Just start there. You don’t have to change everything at once.

Sorry for what you are going through. I've had depression and anxiety so can empathise with that. Definitely try and implement one change at a time as too many will become overwhelming. I think if you could get on top of a healthy diet your skin, hair and weight would follow suit. Also a good idea to just make yourself get outside for fresh air and a walk, even when you really can't be bothered but it does make you feel so much better for doing it! Take care

Imagine that someone else on here wrote that post. How would you react?
Be kind and empathic to yourself. Look at yourself as if you’re someone else, that child who was struggling and that person who needs love and support. Hating yourself will do nothing. Lots and lots of self care.

Maybe get a nice new flannel and face wash (order some online?) and wipe your face every morning and evening, feels lovely and refreshing for the day. I also find it’s much easier to eat well when there’s healthy things in the house. Is there any ffruit ans veg you quite like? Can your husband help with cooking?

Sorry you're struggling OP and well done for reaching out - that's a positive first step (as is getting some meds from the doctor - I hope they help).

In terms of food, I'm a lazy arse cook and what I do is to buy things that need minimal cooking/prep. So I'll buy slices of salmon that you just stick on a baking sheet in the oven for 20 mins. A bag of ready rice (the microwaveable ones) and some boiled broccoli and voila! A balanced meal. If cooking anything is too much, you can also buy pre-cooked meat and fish and make the same sort of meal. Or buy a Spanish omelette or a quiche and have salad on the side. Easy!

As for skincare, if your skin is dry and irritated you may have eczema or another skin condition so you need the gentlest skincare possible. CeraVe and La Roche Posay are both good brands that are gentle. I use Curél Intensive Moisture Facial Cream 40g for Dry, Sensitive Skin - it's un-perfumed and shouldn't irritate your skin. You can buy them all on Amazon if going out shopping is too much.

You’re not an idiot, you’ve written a very cogent and interesting post. This sounds like your depression talking.

Like a PP said, maybe pick one thing at a time. Do you think you could manage a shower or even a bath, every day? Very very basic self care is good for us.

My other suggestion is, do you have a garden? Or live near a park? Try and get outside in daylight and nature every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Breathe slowly and look and listen out for birds. Watching birds got me through some very low times.

Hoping for good things for you x

Hiya. I also struggle. I didn’t look after myself for years. I have a tea and brush my teeth before I do anything else.

Hope you have a good bank holiday x

Very brave of you to write this and I’m sure many people in a similar boat will be watching on.

I try and make a daily plan
something I have to do - task (boring usually but I link it to the love)
something I’d like to do - eat healthy (so I write down what I’ll have)
sonething I’d love to do - fab tv show, jigsaw, call or see a friend family
I find a little plan helps but it’s not rigid

Sending you a big hug.

Can your DH take over on cooking? Two small things you can do to look after yourself - drink lots of water throughout the day. Get outside and go for a walk.

Wishing you all the very best 🌺

Hi OP. I'm in a similar kind of situation myself but there are some daily things I do, which really help. First thing I do when I wake up is drink water I keep by my bed to hydrate me immediately. Then wash my face with cold water which really wakes me up and then apply a glycolic toner and hyaluronic serum to my face. My skin can also be very dry and sore but those products are miracle workers. If you have time first thing in the morning, go for a little walk in the fresh air. Doesn't have to be for long. Just to get you out the house and change of scene. I use an exercise bike. I think you can buy them pretty inexpensively these days but it's great because you don't have to go to a gym. I just watch YouTube and the miles rack up. You can also use bottles of waters or tin cans as weights and do a few exercises with those. Lots of free exercise ideas for all levels on YouTube. Another think I find incredibly helpful is cooking my meals the night before and batch cooking for the freezer when I have time. That way I don't have to worry about cooking when I'm tired and can't be bothered. Keep them high protein and low carb and you can't go wrong. All very small steps, but put together I promise make a difference. It's lovely that your husband cares, but you need to WANT to do it for you. No one else. You are worth it and you absolutely can do it!

I would suggest that your thyroid medication is too low. For you to be feeling like this, overwhelmed and unable to sort out where to start, and feeling so low - that's how I feel when under medicated. Its completely impossible to get on top if things when your brain and body don't have enough go-juice. By all means go back to your GP for a retest, but the NHS are notoriously bad at thyroid treatment, so if you can afford it you might want to look at private providers who include T3 in their prescriptions. Best money I ever spent and my hair looks like I've had layers cut into it because the thick regrowth after becoming very thin when underdosed all started when I got properly treated and is halfway down my hair length now.

The things i have found that have really helped my mental health is
1)Cleaning my teeth, always makes me feel a bit fresher,
2)If i'm feeling depressed then a bath rather than shower or both feels more comfortable.
3)Go to bed before 12
4) Get the light and fresh air in the house
5) and go outside for exercise of sit in the garden if you have one.

The first thing I do in the morning is to have a cup of tea and some fruit, a tablespoon of Fage Yoghurt, a sprinkling of all bran and a tiny handful of mixed nuts. I take it back to bed and fuck about on MNet for about half an hour.

The second thing I do is have a shower, use a hot brush on my hair and put on a bit of make-up.

I had a health scare a year ago. It made me give up saturated fats, wheat and sugar. I have lost 2.5 stone and within three weeks every bit of eczema cleared up and also every ache and pain.

I have also taken levothyroxine for 35 years.

Canbyou afford a private consultation with an endocrinologist to make sire your meds are all perfectly titrated?

Good luck.

I'd start with your morning routine.i have one which means I don't even need to think when I wake up.
1: toilet,do a wee
2: breakfast, what do you like ? I have cereal, a cup of tea and a glass of orange juice, fruit also good as well. It's the same pretty much every morning.
3: shower, brush teeth, wash hair every few days.
4: get dressed.
Then you are ready to start the day.

Drink a glass of water when you wake up and then get a blast of fresh air, either stand outside and do some deep breathing for a few seconds or just stick your head out of the window and feel the fresh air.
Taking a vitamin D supplement really helped me and also find a scent that you like and try and find some soap / lotion / shower gel etc in that scent too.

Sending you big hugs xxx

Oh no OP I am sorry. You're not an idiot! Life is so hard. Samaritans are there to chat 24/7 if you need, just call 116 123.

Start walking daily as far as your health will allow.

Don’t expect to be healed overnight, negative patterns need to be eliminated slowly and you must accept the time it will take.

drink two litres of water every day, but not all at once.

change your thought patterns from negative to positive, for example from “I am sick” to “I am getting better “

If you are get lots of tips, DO NOT try and implement them all at once. Pick say three and try to get into a routine of them (takes 21 times before something is a habit). Bookmark this thread, and come back to it and add a couple more. Otherwise it will be overwhelming.

Starting with the very basics, if you can:

Brush your teeth, morning and night - if you do nothing else, try to do this - toothache is horrific and dental health has such an impact on the rest of your body.

When I am struggling, I try to do the following every day:

Brush teeth
Wash face
Brush hair

On a good day I will add in the following:

Shower
Moisturise face
Use deodorant
Put on make up (BB cream and mascara)

Good luck OP you are very brave

Every morning get out and walk. Doesn’t matter how far. One minute up the street and back. The key isn’t how far it’s doing it daily, I.e. consistently.

Pick 1 thing and go from there,so what do you want to start with,eating better,skincare? Etc.
As a start, get up in the morning and have a wash, every morning, even just over the sink with a flannel. Eat a good breakfast, even something simple like Weetabix, brush your teeth and hair. Start your day right and get in a habit of doing that before you worry about anything else.
Can I ask, what does your husband do to help? You mention your weight and eating bad food,does he shop and cook?

Recomnend Michael mosleys podcasts "just one thing"

I would focus on one thing and that is losing weight.

Your body is literally dragging you down.

If you are physically fit you will have more confidence in your appearance which in itself is a mood lifter but you will also be able to do a range of activities that you cannot do now.

An active body really helps boost your mental health.

You sound quite isolated so you might benefit from joining a weight loss group that will get you out of your house and meeting other people who will share the same goal of losing weight. You might even form friendships.