Hello! I posted on here a few months ago about my MIL who came from abroad to stay with us and it was quite an experience. Luckily my partner turned out to be supportive and everything ended well.
Now I have a different situation with my own family and I’m completely mortified and embarrassed and wondering… am I the unreasonable one?!
DP, DC who is now almost 4 months old and myself have been staying at MIL’s abroad, she hasn’t been here as her daughter who lives 40 minutes away had a baby so she had been staying with her post c-section. 2 very close relatives of mine joined us during the second week of our stay here and it’s safe to say, it has been a truly awful week.
Relative 1 we shall call them is like a parental figure to me, having been bought up by them both. R1 is a very jealous person and has caused some really awful tension which ultimately has lead to a huge fall out. Where DP is from is a very family and community orientated village. You may not be related by blood here but you are always seen as family. We’ve been inundated with visitors which we expected and it has been lovely seeing DC meet the people my DP grew up up and I’m very grateful for the gifts we have received. I pre warned R1 that there is an open door policy here. Guests will turn up if you are eating, showering, sleeping etc and it’s a real “ my home is your home” vibe. Yes, it can get frustrating at times but I’ve become used to it after visiting here for years now. R1 became increasingly annoyed at people wanting to see the baby and hold DC when she was with him… bearing in mind she had “ open access” to him and spent all week with him. When people asked to hold him she told them no, he’s “her” relative and she is spending time with him. It got to a point I had to tell her that this is family and they will only see DC once a year so please stop being so unreasonable. This started R1 off into a really spiteful rant. As the weather is almost 40c here, we have been doing things in the evening or my DP has been taking DC to relatives to keep him safe from the heat. R1 thinks that we are keeping DC away from her on purpose because we don’t want her to see him. I couldn’t believe she had made this up. I explained I’m keeping my child safe from the heat. I was in the shade by the pool after was pink after 30 mins, imagine what the heat would do to a baby. She couldn’t grasp this concept and still maintained I didn’t want her to see DC. She told me I was a selfish bitch and a spoilt cow! She then stormed off and refused to come back until I apologised ( for what I don’t know) and I said to DP I’m sorry but that’s not going to happen. I haven’t done anything wrong.
MIL returned home to see us for 1 night to let her daughter have some time on her own and say goodbye to DP. She was playing with DC whilst I made him a bottle and R1 took offence to this and stormed off once again. When DP asked her what the issue was, she stated that his Mum had prevented her from seeing DC and was rubbing it in her face and stating her authority. She screamed at my MIL that when DC was born, she stopped my family from seeing the baby as she took over with hers which is untrue as they are all abroad, only a few cousins live in England. This went on for about an hour with R1 screaming at us all.
R1 then text other family members but sent it to me by mistake stating that I’d stopped her from spending time with DC… she had been with him all week feeding him, changing him, bathing him, cuddling him. R1 told them that MIL also had me “Running around like her personal maid” because I’d washed up, changed bed sheets and cleaned the house! I said this is not a hotel, and it’s not a self cleaning flat. Someone has to clean up after dinner!
R1 has informed me that I am no longer a part of her family and nor is DC. She shut herself in the bedroom and only came out this morning when I made breakfast which she didn’t even say thank you for.
R2 is absolutely mortified at her behaviour and has been shocked into silence.
I am staying abroad a few weeks extra for my SIL’s birthday and so they can spend more time with DC. R1 is fuming at this as she doesn’t see why I should be because it means she won’t see DC for 2 weeks!
Relatives have now left to go home. R1 wouldn’t even speak to me when they left. I have spent the last few hours in tears because I’m completely dumbfounded by her behaviour and can’t understand why she is treating DC like he is some sort of toy that can’t be shared 😢
Please tell me I’ve don’t nothing wrong because I feel terrible