I'm a nanny with my own baby - what should I charge?

As for the heating up food only, a lot of mums I know pre made the child's dinner, left it in the fridge then after school nanny heated it up. Not sure why some are saying this is so uncommon....

Given the low breastfeeding rates in the U.K., that’s a ridiculous reason. I agree in the early days, it is very much the fourth trimester. A fully weaned 2.5 year old doesn’t need their mother. A father or grandparent or other carer is just as suitable to meet needs.

Exactly.

I didn’t breastfeed so DH would do just as much feeding in the early days too.

But a lot of the time when someone talks about the benefits of keeping kids at home until 3 it’s not aimed at the working parent. If you don’t believe in it or need/prefer your kid at nursery, just ignore and move on. No need to be upset and always argue your point by saying stuff like “Toddlers benefit from fun activities, social interaction and bonding with other adults.” which sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself of this.

Honestly people on mumsnet have lost their mind with this kind of stuff. God forbid a mother wants to look after her own children while they’re little. I was accused on another thread of ruining the economy for not wanting to go back to work full time after my mat leave. Can’t voice any negative opinions about nurseries as it’s seen as personal attack on people who use them.

Interesting how you don't like criticism, yet are happy to do the same. Opinions only go both ways, suddenly when someone 'accuses' you of something it's not on.

People have to work to live. Toddlers benefit from fun activities, social interaction and bonding with other adults. And parents (especially single ones) benefit from time away.

Advertise honestly. Have the required certifications. Have plans and be prepared to talk about them. It won’t suit every parent - but honestly some parents need a warm body to satisfy legal requirements that their child is supervised. Others need someone to drive their child between their various afterschool activities.

You might find that cost isn’t the main factor. It could be that if you can be flexible (your child is with you so you aren’t rushing to go pick him up) with finish times, sometimes staying late or finishing early, or of you can do the days they want, if you don’t expect to be paid if you aren’t working with a given notice etc. For others, saving 5/day could make a big difference to what they can afford.

Working parents - mothers and fathers are still the providers of emotional support (although never a big issue with DT’s) but can have successful careers and be successful at parenting.

Honestly people on mumsnet have lost their mind with this kind of stuff. God forbid a mother wants to look after her own children while they’re little. I was accused on another thread of ruining the economy for not wanting to go back to work full time after my mat leave. Can’t voice any negative opinions about nurseries as it’s seen as personal attack on people who use them.

I agree, in the very early days. But not for 3 years.

My mother went back to work in the evenings when I was 2 weeks old. My dad was an equal parent to me from that early stage. It was an absolute gift.

I made sure that other than feeding DD (I exclusively expressed for a year when breastfeeding didn’t work for us) DH was equally capable of meeting all of her needs from day 1 as well.

Two parents with equal dedication and capability is surely better than one.

Ah yes, no reason at all it has to be the person whose body the child lived inside for the first nine months of their life, whose eyes they gazed into while being fed by that same body. It couldn’t be that with their mother is the natural place for a young child to be, and that the mother has a unique and exclusive role for that child’s emotional wellbeing. No reason at all.

I had a nanny with own child. She was well-qualified and a good fit for my kids (and a lovely person), and had been their nanny before having her own child. It was fine. I would suggest charging 2/3 of the going rate but I think you would need to expect to make food for the children.

You don’t need to explain your priorities to your prospective employers. Some of us can’t live with our parents and prioritise our children by keeping a roof over their heads, and find commentary like that hurtful because of the inherent criticism. So, be sure to be tactful in discussing this with employers.

No reason at all this has to be the mother.

Yes but it’s important to note that the first 3 year of a child’s life are critical in terms of child development:

This is from the book mentioned upthread by the OP:

”Age 0-3 is a critical period of brain development where children need attachment security as a foundation for future mental health. Mothers serve a unique biological function in this period. Through their physical and emotional presence, they regulate children’s emotions from moment to moment by soothing them when they are in distress, buffering them from stress that is toxic to a young child’s brain, and providing them with a sense of safety and security in the world. Only after three years of age can a child internalize a feeling of security that helps them cope with stress in the future.”

Are you deliberately being obtuse? They clearly meant "you" in the universal sense, not you personally.

Pretty sure she knows how much work her own child is and how is it not "doable" when parents with multiple children including that age do it themselves?

@ComtesseDeSpair and don't happy NT parents often have nice jobs & careers they want to maintain? And therefore more likely to use childcare?

@ComtesseDeSpair

"because depressed and anxious parents or those who struggle with executive function and moderating their behaviour as parents are more likely to make use of childcare to help them get by than happy neurotypical parents are."

Surely depressed & anxious parents who struggle with executive function are very less likely to be in paid work, or well enough paid work that they can afford/justify childcare??

Plus if a depressed & anxious parent who struggles with executive function is not really the ideal parent to stay home all day and be that child's primary/only caregiver?

Signed, a parent with ADHD & executive function (thankfully not depression or anxiety) who uses childcare so they can work (solo parent). Raised by a lovely SAHM with non of the above (ND cones from my DF side)

I think you should ignore the negativity on here. I am sure there are plenty of people who would jump at the opportunity to employ an experienced, english speaking nanny, and may even view it as a positive that you are bringing your own child.

I know someone who did this but looked after similar age kids during the day, but no reason it wouldn't work well with one (or two) older kids.

However, I am eating into my savings and would like to make some income as an after-school nanny so that I don't deplete all of my savings. Otherwise, I might have to go back to work and I don't want to do that.

I still don't get this - you say you don't want to go back to work - But that's what nannying is - work. A job.

If you don't want to leave your child, why don't you look for a 2-3 day nanny job 8/7 with similar age child and take him with you

Highly unlikely you will find a job 3/530/6 where you heat up food and tbh 3/4 hrs a day isn't going to pay much

ADHD is as hereditable as height.

It’s also more common among babies born by forceps, as DD and I were - they dented her skull getting her out. Maybe I should have asked them to leave her stuck in my pelvis rather than risk it…….. 🙄

Some reading below.

https://www.russellbarkley.org/factsheets/adhd-facts.pdf

https://www.russellbarkley.org/factsheets/WhatCausesADHD2017.pdf

(We didn’t use any childcare for DD until she started school full time just before she was 4. She’s still ADHD all the live long day (and wonderful for it).)

your first sentence is very bold. What is this ‘objective’ evidence you mention?

While this topic invites strong feelings about what is best for children, I think it’s way too strong to be able to claim that the evidence is clear - as far as I can tell, there’s no general consensus that children do worse as a result of spending time in their early years (or ‘being raised’ as you slightly rudely call it) at nursery.

The key thing seems to be the quality of the environments and if you can provide a consistent, stimulating and loving environment(s) then your children are likely to do their best - whether at home or combination of home and nursery.

Not very helpful to claim you have the final word on this and put the boot in all the working parents who are really doing their best and make them feel they’re somehow not prioritising their children when nursery (or another childcare setting) might be great for them.

Plenty sets it apart. The main thing is that raising a child takes more than just a few short nursery years.

I think about my children's futures and make plans accordingly
I potty trained DS
I'm the one who was up all night holding his hand and comforting him when DS was so poorly he needed to be in hospital, I'm also the one he cried out for, not a nursery worker

etc etc

because I raise them. Not nursery.

@Vizella

' The reason I use words like ‘committed’ and ‘prioritise’ is because I sometimes find it hard being a stay at home mum! It’s a life filled with a certain amount of drudgery and because I believe it is what is best for it DS, I set aside my own desire to return to work so I can physically and emotionally be there for him.'

BUT you were planning on taking your child to work with you !!!

so it's not as if you were going to work in a day nursery or nursery school and were leaving your child with your parents.

'It’s a life filled with a certain amount of drudgery ' and you were planning on doing the same ' drudgery ' with someone's else's child / children...

The only people who raised DT’s were DH and I. Their highly qualified experienced nursery staff looked after them whilst we were at work. The staff - the majority older than me had degrees in early years, teaching or nursing. There were no £5 apprentices. Staff turnover was very low.