Mid week large weddings

Was thinking this under 120 is small here lol. Anyway good luck. Some people may skip the service so that they don't need the full day off!

Yeah I think it’s cheeky having a wedding on a weekday. Far cheaper for the bride and groom but awkward for every guest. It’s easy saying it’s not a summons but let’s be honest if it’s your sibling or best mate or anyone you have an ounce of respect for - you have to go.

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God there are some miserable people on here. DD2 is getting married midweek next year, around 90 people. She has very good teacher friends so has planned it for the school holidays and checked with them before deciding on a date, just to pre-empt that argument.

As @Capybara95 and @Elphamouche have said, if 'friends' don't want to take a day or two of annual leave to attend, they're probably not particularly good friends anyway so they won't be much missed. So just decline, it most likely suits both parties.

Your choice, just as it is those invited can decline, hopefully if they do it is in good time.

Given that higher demand means weekend charges are more, I don't blame anyone for choosing midweek.

There's no way i'd pay 3 x the price for a Saturday wedding just so a guest doesn't have to dip into one days annual leave!😅.

But this is mumsnet where every guest is a teacher who can't take time off mid-week.

I got a bit annoyed once when a relative did this AFTER asking my DD to be a bridesmaid. It wasn’t only mid week but also term time, plus a fair distance away requiring an overnight stay- so 3 days out of school and off work. That wasn’t a fair ask and they should have been more thoughtful as my DD was really upset to then be told that we couldn’t make it.

To be fair to them, they fully understood and didn’t complain when we and others declined.

Like others, I have no problem with couples doing this but they can’t then get upset if people can’t make it. And they shouldn’t go asking children to attend as bridesmaids etc until they’ve cleared it with the parents!

if you can’t make it then just decline the invite.

If someone didn’t want to use annual leave for our wedding, I didn’t want to pay £100 for their meal. I see absolutely no issue :)

We work weekends so we always have to take time off for weddings. Either you can or can’t go. It’s not really a big thing.

It's not always that simple though. I live a long way from my school and university friends so it's 3-4 days leave per wedding. I'm also on a much lower income than my friends. Weddings (in my experience anyway) seem to come altogether and there were a couple of years where most of my annual leave and a lot of my money went on seeing close friends getting married. I definitely had to decide between hen nights/weddings/which weddings because of money and leave constraints. It's also exhausting using all your leave on travelling the length of the country and back and not actually getting time off when you just mooch.

If someone wasn’t willing to take a day annual leave to come to my wedding then I wouldn’t particularly want them there. I Any weddings I’ve been to I’ve been happy to take a day off because I’ve been looking forward to a friend or family members wedding, anyone else I’ve spoke to seems to have the same opinion. A Thursday is my favourite day for a wedding because you get a nice long weekend out of it

Not everyone can take of time midweek if you work in a school during term time it’s a no no

Don't go then. I love weddings and have happily taken annual leave to attend some, including weekend ones if there's some travel involved.

If you don't want to then don't. Everyone expects some rate of drop-out from their invitations. It's no big deal.

It’s fine to decline….but it’s very reasonable for a couple to choose exactly the wedding they want

I do begrudge using AL for weddings. I don’t think you can expect people to come if you book when you know everyone’s at work. Not as bad as inviting people to your wedding abroad though.

Yes I think they should expect more people to decline. And as long as they don't make a fuss or try and guilt people into attending, that's fine.

We can't really do mid-week weddings because our annual leave is already gone on childcare for school holidays. We've got one next year, but if we got invited to another one we'd have to decline. It would annoy me if someone got pissed odd that I couldn't go.

Sick of using holiday?

How many yearly daytime invites are you getting??

If you are sick of using your holiday to attend, then don't.
Why the drama? Jus politely decline.

You don't have to go. Just decline.

I think it’s self selecting. Some couples choose midweek weddings because they want to keep it low key (and therefore cheaper). They know a lot of invitees won’t be able to make it. Those who are really close to the bride or groom will give it high priority and won’t mind using their annual leave.

From someone who got married on a Thursday in my home city, 60 miles from my husbands we didn't really think what anyone thought of us tbh.

We booked our wedding & invited people, I will add that ad it was term time we did give every family with children to do what best suited them. For example if taking children out of school was OK then bring them, if not then come without kids, if childcare over night is too difficult with school run mixed in we also understood.... few months notice to rsvp no pressure.

Same as a weekend wedding would have been..... you can either come or you can't, we're getting married either way. You'll never please everyone.

Will add that everyone we invited attended, even evening guests travelling that we couldn't justify of the day time, every single person.

Sick of people thinking brides and grooms have to have a wedding to suit everyone else so no it's not unreasonable at all. I had two cousins that are teachers who got special permission from their head teachers to attend which I was ecstatic about be abuse I genuinely thought it wouldn't be possible but for the sake of 2 cousins attending I still didn't consider changing to a weekend. All of both of our families work and there's many different jobs and professions but everyone made it.

Had it been on a weekend I know some family members would have still had to ask for leave so you can't win either way.

You're not being forced or summoned you're being invited. Sorry we're not all mon-fri 9-5

Yes!!

I’ve said it before and not say it again just because the wedding is on a Saturday does not mean that you’re not asking people to take annual leave. I know literally 40+ people that works shifts that fall on weekends I know several people who work ONLY weekends. You cannot please everyone book the wedding on the day that you want and people will go if they want to celebrate with you. If You are the person who has been invited to a midweek wedding then you make up your own mind. Do you want to go or not? Do you love them enough to want to take annual leave for them or not? It is an invite not a summon end of story.

I once went to a dry mid-week wedding
At the risk of sounding alcohol - dependent, that was tough!

Exactly this!

I wouldn't use annual leave

And just arrange it as a scheduled day off

Not everyone works mon-Fri 9-5. It would suit me