Dreading seeing other Mum at school

Maybe your husband isn't oblivious at all. Maybe there really weren't "cliques", just people standing around chatting, and like most people, your husband would say hello, good morning, etc, and not think twice about it because there's really nothing to think about. You drop your kids off and get on with your day, and you don't give a second thought to what the other parents are doing.

Also I came off Facebook years ago and that helped hugely ..

My kids are older than yours but I still remember with a shudder how these cliques made me feel. I'm so sorry it's hard for you at the moment . There is a type of school gate group that seems to be an extension of mean girl teen cliques. It's not just you this a common problem .. I wouldn't unblock she sounds awful

I'm so glad that I didn't get to see what my friends and acquaintances were doing, when I was younger. We saw each other when we did. Some of us met at the school gates, some of us met for coffee in pairs or a group. But that was all I focused on, because I didn't have social media to tell me what the others were doing when I was at home or otherwise engaged.

I thought it was only teenagers who were made to feel left out by seeing their friends activities on social media. But apparently not.

Personally I hated the school run and all the cliques etc and was glad to go back to full time work and hand it over to DH. Funnily enough no-one tried to 'clique' him (or more likely he would have been completely oblivious to it!) and he just chatted politely to everyone. No social media then however.

Kindly OP, just relax.
You don't have to be mates with all the mums or your kids friends.
This woman has found friends she gelled with.
I'm sorry you haven't but I'm sure it will come.
You will make friends eventually.
Some advice I can give is to talk to the dads! They can sometimes be more chilled to talk to.
Don't go for the clique/popular group. Look for the geeky mums (this is me!) or people who seem to be on their own- smile and just be plesaant.

You really don't need to worry. I never made friends until year 1 of school. I only had acquaintances before. Now it's a struggle fitting everyone in 🤣 Truthfully, I still prefer my old friends as company. School mums group seems fleeting and a bit superficial.
Don't change yourself for others.
Don't worry too much about social media, I wouldn't block again but unfollow if things are getting for you.
Take a step back x

I think the OP's reports of online trolling about people who may have a different opinion says a lot.

I agree. There have been many, many posts just like this over the years, and unfortunately, the majority of the op's almost always totally refuse to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe it's them and their personal insecurity issues, and in fact, not absolutely everyone is horrible and out to get them.

I used to.live in a world of no mobile phones or SM it was great. No photos of people pretending they were having a good time, no look at me, I've a big car (just rent it tho) no look I've I've loads of friends and no anxiety. Get off your phone and live in the real world, enjoy your children and don't worry what other people are doing.

I do think it's a bit wierd of her to completely ignore you. I think if you had been close before then a hello at least would be civil. However, as @Superfoodie123 had said, I've also been in a situation where another mum always expected me to just talk to her at pick up even when some other mums wanted to talk to me. It was as if she felt that was the routine and it had to be that way. Mummy friendships are very fickle and many of us mums are 'friends' with other mums during each stage of primary to what suits us and who our DCs are friends with. I used to be close to a few mums in the nursery stage doing plays dates and now we are just 'hello' acquaintances because our kids split classes and time and situation made it that way. It's wierd when I think once we were having deep convos in each others living rooms and now it's just a polite hello. I think you shouldn't have blocked her but I also understand because it can feel very personal, even when it isn't. I do think as adults we sometimes don't realise the effect we can have on others. She probably isn't saying hello because she may feel it would start a conversation and she doesn't want to - not that she doesn't like you but prefers the other mums because maybe they are more 'popular' or better connected. That behaviour is childish too. Either way, don't worry about it. This happens all the time. Just concentrate on your DCs

I feel for you. The problem here I think is that maybe for some reason, she feels the two of you didn’t bond, or she felt like you didn’t have a lot in common, or she’s the sort of person who will pick people up & drop them for no reason. It can feel like the mums are cliquey, especially if you are feeling hormonal and sensitive. But tbh, women who are being cliquey and unfriendly to others probably aren’t the sort of friends you need anyway!! I’m past the playground pick ups, but still remember! Personally, I’d try to relax about the school pick ups, standing a distance from the mum in question doesn’t allow her to ignore you, strike up a chat with another mum. I can bet you there’ll be lots of mums standing on their own. Even look out for a mum who could be pregnant like you. The mum you’re talking about doesn’t sound very kind, I wouldn’t bother with her. Concentrate on your little family, strike up chats with other mums. A good convo starter could be “ooh I’m shattered today! I’ve been really busy”
“can’t wait to get the kettle on for a cuppa!” Even resort to saying about the weather! Anything! I bet there’s loads of mums wanting a chat!
good luck! You sound lovely! Ignore the cliquey mums!!

I think the OP's reports of online trolling about people who may have a different opinion says a lot. I really think it's ridiculous when people on here call friendship groups 'cliques'. There's an assumption with some that a group of friends at the school gates have to include everyone or they're being terribly mean,

People's friendships move on. Just concentrate on your own friends.

Why do you view the posts on this thread as "horrible" and "typical online trolling"? Especially if you haven't read half of them! For the most part, people are offering reasonable advice and different perspectives.

It seems to me that you have overreacted to your friend's interactions with other people by blocking her on social media. As a PP said, that action will make her think that you're the one who doesn't want to be friends. I would unblock her and when you see her at the school gates be completely friendly. There's no need to turn this situation into any sort of drama.

It sounds like you and your child are very keen on meeting up with them but it is one sided. It’s possible that the other child isn’t as friendly with your child as you think. That’s not to say they actively dislike them but aren’t asking for play dates. If they were, I expect the mum would be more forthcoming with meeting up. People are busy, I do try and prioritise my children’s social life and play dates etc as much as possible but there is a lot to fit in. My ds2’s has been asking for a play date with his best friend all summer. I know it's mutual because his friend's mum has been messaging me asking for them to meet but we just haven’t been able to find a date that suits both of us!

This is all normal btw. My ds2 was very good friends with another boy in preschool and we had lots of play dates but that started to dwindle in reception as they found other friends. I am still friendly with the mum, no one has done anything wrong but our children just aren’t best friends anymore, that’s the way the cookie crumbles with children this age.

I think you were very unreasonable in blocking the other mum on social media when she hasn’t done anything wrong. I definitely wouldn’t be rushing to arrange more play dates with someone who did this to me. Tbh if you were regretting it you could always add her again and say oh sorry I deleted you by accident, or something.

@GRex wow that's mad.

I'm so sorry grown women have blanked you. That's very rude.
Are you attending any nct groups? Hopefully you'll make some new friends at baby groups? It's good you already have some.

This is a fair point. A woman I went to school with popped up asking to be a facebook friend every now and then. I accepted the first 8 or so times, because I assumed she was going on and off facebook but I'd never noticed her actually removing me. Then I got bored of whatever the game was and stopped accepting. Met her at a reunion and she was most put out. Turns out she had been unfriending me for crimes such as "not liking my new profile picture", then adding me again to "give me another chance". I told her I would not be responding to games so I would add her, but if she mucked about again then I wouldn't accept. A week or two later another invitation came through, and some more since, but I just ignore her now. Difficult to say what her behaviour achieved apart from making me think she's bit mad.

@Superfoodie123

Same here. I'm in this situation right now. I never had any ill intent in it and still like them but it was just intense and I felt she relied on me too much.

Thank f*ck I don't use social media 😅 just do the drop-off and get on with your day.

I avoid folk if I can and say hello in passing. I have other stuff going on in my life that takes up head space unfortunately.

Occasionally I have to meet up with other mums for parties or play dates but I try not to make a habit of it as I have a busy family life with four children.

I've been the other mum in this situation although my dds friends mum didn't block me. Tbh I felt a bit suffocated with the assumption that we had to talk to each other everyday and be exclusive friends just because our girls went to nursery together. I did really like the other mum but just wanted to break free a bit.

I would keep it as civil and drama free as possible. No one owes anyone a friendship just because their kids are friends. They'll probably fall out here and there as kids do its much easier for everyone to keep it civil and not get emotionally involved.

Now you're expecting it might be a good idea to attend baby groups and make friends outside of the school playground.

Would she even have noticed you've blocked her? I know I wouldn't.

Stick to WhatsApp to arrange play dates etc in future. No social media comparisons

Because people might have a different perspective to you doesn't mean they're trolling.

I think it’s fine to block someone whose social media content is having a negative effect on you. I also think that friendships change or end, and as much as it can hurt, that’s ok. I’d just keep interactions minimal on the school run and keep supporting your child to maintain their friendships with classmates. Don’t overthink the playground - drop and run.

Wow, alot of posters seem to be taking your post personally. Calm down people, she didn't block you 🙄

I think you we're right to block her if her posts were upsetting you. It's horrible when you think you're building a friendship and you get dropped. Even if she doesn't want you as a friend, a simple hello at the school gates wouldn't kill her. From the sounds of it she's been ghosting you which is hurtful no matter what some say on here.

At least you know where youstand with her. I'd stop making the effort completely. Give the same energy you get.