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Original poster

to stop in motorway SOS lay-by so DD could wee

335 replies

TheWrongBus · 24/08/2024 11:29

Genuine question, curious if there is an official/legal answer.

Driving to West Country, inevitably stuck in bad traffic jams on M25, DD9 suggests she may need a wee at some point but we’re only about an hour away from our lunch stop so I tell her ideally we’ll push through.

What I didn’t realise is that she’d drunk half her (large) bottle of water before we left home. She admits this just as we’re joining the M3 where there are seemingly permanent roadworks, no hard shoulder and emergency SOS lay-byes only.

I check and we’re around 25 minutes from the next services and at least 15 minutes from the next junction. Daughter at this point starts to cry because she’s so desperate so we decide to pull into the SOS lay-bye and hubby takes her behind the crash barrier for a wee. From what he reports it’s clearly not the first time this spot has been used in this way….

I don’t like using the lay-bye for this purpose and appreciate there are dangers to stopping there but I’m not sure what else we could have done. With the M25 traffic and the M3 roadworks I think it was at least 50 minutes between the previous M25 junction and the next M3 junction and literally nowhere we could stop between. So what else could we have done?

Am hoping they don’t fine people for using these lay-byes in a non-emergency, but given daughter literally about to wet herself isn’t it arguably a medical emergency anyway?

OP posts:
taxguru · 24/08/2024 14:22

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 24/08/2024 12:12

It might not be an official emergency, but we’ve stopped twice on the M25 hard shoulder to let Gds of 3 or 4 have a wee. It was a question both times of a max of about 2 minutes, and yes, I know you’re not supposed to, but I honestly can’t feel bad or guilty about it.
Please don’t worry about it any more, OP.

You'd feel guilty if someone had got killed!

BruceAndNosh · 24/08/2024 14:18

SapphireOpal · 24/08/2024 11:38

She told you she was starting to want a wee and you couldn't be arsed to stop. You could have come off at the M3/M25 junction and found somewhere to stop.

You shouldn't have stopped in the lay by, of course you shouldn't.

You can't leave at the m25 / m3 junction, it's motorway to motorway with no exit

WiddlinDiddlin · 24/08/2024 14:17

theduchessofspork · 24/08/2024 11:39

I mean I would have done it - you’d just pull out if someone needed it urgently.

However get an emergency potty with a lid going forward, she’s too young to aim at a traveljohn.

You would?

You could get everyone back in the car and get up to speed and out before Long Distance Clara slides her articulated lorry with the trailer wheels locked up and on fire, into the space your car is occupying, still doing 45mph as she screams to a halt...

You have super-human skills... or I suspect have never seen HOW fast and how suddenly some vehicles enter the emergency space.

JoWawa · 24/08/2024 14:14

Many years ago we pulled up on the hard shoulder of the M40 so that our son could be sick.. A police car pulled up behind us shortly, took one look and said that's fine.

DragonGypsyDoris · 24/08/2024 14:11

TheWrongBus · 24/08/2024 11:29

Genuine question, curious if there is an official/legal answer.

Driving to West Country, inevitably stuck in bad traffic jams on M25, DD9 suggests she may need a wee at some point but we’re only about an hour away from our lunch stop so I tell her ideally we’ll push through.

What I didn’t realise is that she’d drunk half her (large) bottle of water before we left home. She admits this just as we’re joining the M3 where there are seemingly permanent roadworks, no hard shoulder and emergency SOS lay-byes only.

I check and we’re around 25 minutes from the next services and at least 15 minutes from the next junction. Daughter at this point starts to cry because she’s so desperate so we decide to pull into the SOS lay-bye and hubby takes her behind the crash barrier for a wee. From what he reports it’s clearly not the first time this spot has been used in this way….

I don’t like using the lay-bye for this purpose and appreciate there are dangers to stopping there but I’m not sure what else we could have done. With the M25 traffic and the M3 roadworks I think it was at least 50 minutes between the previous M25 junction and the next M3 junction and literally nowhere we could stop between. So what else could we have done?

Am hoping they don’t fine people for using these lay-byes in a non-emergency, but given daughter literally about to wet herself isn’t it arguably a medical emergency anyway?

*layby
Medical emergency? Don't be so ridiculous. What you did was illegal and dangerous, and if you are fined then (a) it will be justified and (b) you will have no valid defence.

MikeRafone · 24/08/2024 14:10

The rules don't apply to you...obviously

scalt · 24/08/2024 14:07

Incidentally, they use the "gel urinary bags" in prison vans.

TicTac80 · 24/08/2024 14:06

OP, buy a travel urinal for the car (the hard plastic ones) with an attachment that allows women/girls to use it. You can buy sachets of stuff that absorb the urine and turn it into a gel (no spillages). It's a game changer (for travel and camping!). I also have the Travel John things (I keep a few in car and some in our camping gear box), but they can be a bit fiddly. Having said that, my DD was able to shuffle her bum forward on her car seat, and pee using a Travel John whilst we were in slow moving traffic on motorway - she was thrilled that she was able to do that!!

GiantHornets · 24/08/2024 14:04

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 24/08/2024 13:02

There’d have to be three “someone’s” to block the entire bay…

Show quote history

No, there wouldn’t. You can’t pull alongside an emergency refuge and reverse neatly into a space.

EmeraldIsla · 24/08/2024 14:03

Loving Longacres getting so much chat. Just off there now …

MontagueMoo · 24/08/2024 14:03

ClarasSisters · 24/08/2024 14:01

My dc are in their 20s. Our nearest family are hundreds of miles away so we have travelled on motorways A Lot with babies/small/older children. We have never stopped on the hard shoulder/refuge area for them to have a wee. It's really not that difficult.

Show quote history

Good for you. I'd give you a medal but I'm fresh out.

kittensinthekitchen · 24/08/2024 14:01

Candelabra75 · 24/08/2024 13:58

This is just caused by the madness of people giving children huge bottles of water. It's just not necessary, and some children will just drink it because they are bored or from habit. Of course it's sensible to carry lots of water with you on a journey, but an adult can keep a large bottle and manage intake.

No, it's caused by the idiocy of the OP.
Who claims to be a lawyer, by the way

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5146966-who-should-receive-the-compensation?reply=137690960

Page 3 | Who should receive the compensation? | Mumsnet

An extended family holiday booked to celebrate somebody's big birthday Birthday person's cost for the holiday was spread between the rest of the peop...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5146966-who-should-receive-the-compensation?reply=137690960

ClarasSisters · 24/08/2024 14:01

MontagueMoo · 24/08/2024 13:55

It's very easy to talk about what you should do from the comfort of a sofa while having a cup of tea. Life is rarely that ideal.

OP, you shouldn't have done it, but it's done now and no harm was done. Forget it and have a lovely weekend. Don't let the ghouls slavering at the prospect of giving someone a repeated kicking get into your head.

My dc are in their 20s. Our nearest family are hundreds of miles away so we have travelled on motorways A Lot with babies/small/older children. We have never stopped on the hard shoulder/refuge area for them to have a wee. It's really not that difficult.

sleepyscientist · 24/08/2024 14:00

I wouldn't even stop on the motorway for a break down if the car was still moving forward! She could have wet herself you stop at the next service and clean the car seat!

vickylou78 · 24/08/2024 13:59

Op this was such a silly decision that put your whole family at risk and is illegal. It's also illegal to stop on hard shoulder. A wet car seat is messy but better than the alternative.

MontagueMoo · 24/08/2024 13:59

Werweisswohin · 24/08/2024 13:58

You're still justifying this ridiculously dangerous behaviour?

Show quote history

Still? This is my first post on the thread.

Justifying? No, that's why I said she shouldn't have done it.

Werweisswohin · 24/08/2024 13:58

MontagueMoo · 24/08/2024 13:55

It's very easy to talk about what you should do from the comfort of a sofa while having a cup of tea. Life is rarely that ideal.

OP, you shouldn't have done it, but it's done now and no harm was done. Forget it and have a lovely weekend. Don't let the ghouls slavering at the prospect of giving someone a repeated kicking get into your head.

You're still justifying this ridiculously dangerous behaviour?

Candelabra75 · 24/08/2024 13:58

This is just caused by the madness of people giving children huge bottles of water. It's just not necessary, and some children will just drink it because they are bored or from habit. Of course it's sensible to carry lots of water with you on a journey, but an adult can keep a large bottle and manage intake.

Otherstories2002 · 24/08/2024 13:56

theduchessofspork · 24/08/2024 11:39

I mean I would have done it - you’d just pull out if someone needed it urgently.

However get an emergency potty with a lid going forward, she’s too young to aim at a traveljohn.

Pull Out? Leaving child and partner behind?

CustardySergeant · 24/08/2024 13:56

theduchessofspork "Oh I didn’t realise it was the motorway"

How can you not realise it was the motorway when it says 'motorway' in the title of the thread? You must have read that to decide to open it. 😕

FatherConfesserTheGuesser · 24/08/2024 13:56

Justforthis345 · 24/08/2024 13:47

Admittedly M4 and hard shoulder as opposed to a lay-by but this news story and the episode of Crash Detectives has stayed with me. The family pulled over due to an unwell child and a drink & drug driver ploughed in to the back of them, killing 2 children and injuring their mother.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-67218612

(edited to add, incase it isn’t obvious, I wasn’t judging or blaming the parents)

Edited

That is heartbreaking.

MontagueMoo · 24/08/2024 13:55

It's very easy to talk about what you should do from the comfort of a sofa while having a cup of tea. Life is rarely that ideal.

OP, you shouldn't have done it, but it's done now and no harm was done. Forget it and have a lovely weekend. Don't let the ghouls slavering at the prospect of giving someone a repeated kicking get into your head.

Puddlewoman · 24/08/2024 13:55

Motorways honestly seem more hassle then they are worth. Its a long boring stretch of road where you can't stop regardless of what is happening in the car kids out of car seats needing loo feeling tired and where at any point somone could have an accident/ lose concentration and potentially kill you. Awful things I can't think why anyone bothers with them for the sake of saving a couple of hours (if theres no traffic) traveling time.

But I speak as a non driver so my opinion is invalid.

BillyJeans · 24/08/2024 13:54

I think the OP has gotten the message by now, and won't do it again.

scalt · 24/08/2024 13:53

Yes, it is a very bad idea to stop in the emergency areas for this purpose. (I think it's also a bad idea that we have the cost-cutting "emergency areas" instead of a continuous hard shoulder, but that's another debate.)

This thread has echoes of the vitriolic threads of 2020: "How dare you walk the dog twice in a day: Boris said you will kill Granny!!"