to stop in motorway SOS lay-by so DD could wee

We all know you can't legislate for Stupid

Of course not @Dirtydonna but no one wants a dead 6 year old either.

Nope. Never.

And I don't actually think I know anyone that stupid

She admits this just as we’re joining the M3 where there are seemingly permanent roadworks, no hard shoulder and emergency SOS lay-byes only.

That would make it Hampshire, where it really isn't on. It's not like junction 21 of the M1 or junction 12 of the M6 (Cannock) where that sort of thing would be more readily acceptable. Winchester for goodness sake....

Too late by then so just get off at the nearest place to clean them up - a motorway isn't that place

But pulling back out of an SOS lay-by is much much more dangerous, as there’s no slip road or hard shoulder to build up speed on. That’s why when they are used for their intended purpose the highways agency close the inside lane to let the breakdown lorry / repaired vehicle safely join the motorway. My car is electric and accelerates pretty quickly…I still wouldn’t fancy it

I'm still furious at FIL for pulling over on the m25 hand shoulder because my six year old said she felt sick. He actually let her get out of the car with the traffic still fast moving on the motorway. You can't just pull over on the m25! (Plus she fakes feeling sick when bored!)

Highly stupid. It's dangerous and irresponsible. The occupants remaining in the car were at risk of serious collision from other road users. Another motorist needing to use the refuge bay due to car faults wouldn't have been able to.
You pull off at the next junction for a wild wee as soon as it is safe to do so if the services aren't close by. Or DD wets herself and learns a lesson about pacing oneself when consuming fluids on a long journey.

YAVBU stopping in refuge areas and laybys is extremely dangerous.

Most public services are under-invested. Roads were built decades ago for much lighter traffic volumes. They probably need to be replaced rather than fixed.

What’s done is done but I wouldn’t stop in one on these lay-bys unless it was an absolute emergency.

Too many people have been seriously injured or killed and it’s just not worth the risk.

Next time tell your DD to try and hold it for the next 15mins and if she has an accident then it doesn’t matter.

It’s better to have a toilet accident that can be cleaned up and dealt with, then a serious accident that could take her life.

M25/M3 junction there is no stopping they just merge and until 2026 it will take 50 minutes now to get to the next services at Fleet because of road works - Christ knows why everything takes so long on our motorways

Well I think you've learned a lesson to listen to your kid sooner. Let's face it- anyone who has a child knows a dithery "I need a wee soon" means "let's find the nearest toilet now!"

I don't think it was an easy decision to make, you've got a guaranteed shit option (kid pees themselves) or a potential shit option (less likely to happen but high risk of injury/death of it does happen). I think you gambled and won this time, but I think you're definitely looking back at it with the perspective of a survivors bias.

Don't know if anyone's already suggested this because I haven't read all the posts, but a nappy works a treat and can be slotted into pants quite easily in an 'emergency'. I always keep a couple spare in the car. I haven't had to ever use one, but would if I needed to.

Id suggest its exasperation at the disregard for the rules on safety, rather than "worked up" people are fed up of entitlement and people not understanding the rules are there for safety reason.

Its one of the most dangerous place to stop and get a child out of the car, so fairly stupid if you're not broken down

It is because it is incredibly dangerous.
It reminds me of giving my friend and her two month old baby a short lift. We were in a City with a motorway through it, and even though the journey was 10 minutes, we had t go on the motorway. My friend's baby started crying and she got the baby out of the car seat to comfort her. When I said that was dangerous, she said she could not leave her baby to cry. If a car had hit us, or I had to do an emergency stop, her baby would have died.

Because the hard shoulder needs to be kept clear for actual emergencies. Using it as a pit stop for the toilet is incredibly dangerous. Anyone who doesn't understand this needs to re-read the highway code.

Everyone is getting worked up because the emergency laybys and hard shoulders are a really REALLY fucking dangerous place to be.

The reason you are only to stop there if there is NO other option and its something out of your control (because believe me, stopping because you ran out of fuel will absolutely get you a bollocking even though there is no other option!)... is that unnecessary stopping increases the chances of someone dying.

@Ihopeithinkiknow

I am sorry for your loss. I have no idea what the circumstances were but imagine if someone suggested that because of an awful tragedy it was your fault in some way.

That is what I find so distasteful here. People are enjoying berating the OP not because of a concern for children’s safety but because they are enjoying feeling superior.

DD9 suggests she may need a wee at some point but we’re only about an hour away from our lunch stop so I tell her ideally we’ll push through.

OP - maybe if your kid tells you they might need the loo at some point - think about why they're saying that and talk to them. Kids don't normally have such great foresight.

If a 9 year old is saying they might need to stop for the loo 'at some point', it probably means they are already starting to need it, and you should just stop asap.

Why is everyone getting so worked up? We're talking about a NINE year old GIRL here - if I was still 9 I'd like to think my mother would have stopped for me! Not sure I'd have wanted my FATHER to take me for a pee(!) but needs must I spose...

This. Needing the loo is not a medical emergency, OP. I can't believe you said that. I think you need to go back to your highway code.

If everyone did this, what impact do you think it would have on those needing to stop because of actual emergencies?