to stop in motorway SOS lay-by so DD could wee

Are you sure?
Have you used one?

Where is the signage saying that?

And where you need to contact highways before pulling out as there is no chance for a run up because there is no hard shoulder.

Are you sure that dozens of people are killed each year in an SOS bay?

I'm under the impression that many posters here have never seen one of these bays on a smart motorway.

It's not the hard shoulder. It's a layby where you pull in to either await rescue or if possible, sort out your car yourself (ie a flat tyre.)

It's long enough for an HGV or maybe 3 cars.

It's also not the 'live lane' of a 4 lane smart motorway that's closed when someone breaks down.

I'm not saying it's not dangerous or it was right to use it, but I think a lot of posters don't know what the OP is describing.

I wouldn't be so sure, the SOS laybys are covered by security cameras and it's a fine and points if you use them when you shouldn't.

Medical Emergency? 😂🫨

I have to say I agree with the majority. I understand why OP did what she did but others are right, the risks to balance were a wet car seat and a distressed child or a potentially dead child. It's not really a choice, is it? Car seats are replaceable. A life is not.

I get that OP thought it was quiet, safer, etc but I'm sure the dozens of people killed doing the same thing each year also thought the same thing before they were killed.

OP, I hope you don't get fined but I wouldn't do it again. It is not worth the risk. It's the kind of thing everyone thinks won't happen to them until the day it does happen to them.

I assume most posters here know that the family didn't stop on the hard shoulder?

It's an emergency bay where you stop if you have broken down.

That's different to a hard shoulder because it's a bay.

It's not ideal and you shouldn't stop but people do....

Obviously OP now knows to have loo stops even if people don't actually need them as a 'just in case'.

I doubt it would be excused, seeing as the law is very clear about pulling over to use the toilet!

I do think if you had to explain yourself to any authorities it could be excused.

However, it's most definitely unreasonable to think it's a medical emergency 😂

The dents/scrapes and blood won't come out either if a lorry had hit it.

Have you read literally any of the comments? I wouldn’t want a NINE year old GIRL to be run over, personally

Don't do it again OP but I think, on this occasion, you had little choice so no point in worrying. I know you will impress upon your daughter not to drink her fill before leaving home to go on a long car journey. Just put it behind you now, many will have done the same in those circumstances.

If your daughter had been choking/having a seizure etc. then you stop.

If a nine year old (or even many adults tbh) told me they needed a wee I'd be trying to find a loo fairly quickly, not thinking they should wait an hour - especially during the school summer holidays when the motorways are often very busy.

What's done is done and presumably you were able to carry on with your journey safely.

But a motorway refuge on a smart motorway isn't like a layby on an A road. It's even more dangerous than a normal motorway hard shoulder (where one also shouldn't stop).

Moral of the story: don't expect kids to wait an hour to wee. And have a travel potty or Travel John for emergencies.

I'm sure 100s of people do this every year.

Granted I have DS's but we used to carry a wide necked Fabric softener bottle for them to wee in
This would probably work for a DD with a funnel in the top
Carry " bog in a bag"..type things but of course you should've stopped when she first told you
You are supposed to contact highways agency to effectively stop the traffic so you can rejoin or rather the Emergency services would!
I actually do hope you're fined.
You risked losing your daughter for the sake of a wee

Ultimately the risks were:

1. she wets herself
2. stop and risk a collision at motorway speeds with a vehicle driving into you

Maybe have a bit of a think...

What could possibly go wrong?

Absolutely!
As a woman in her 40s I still remember the agony of holding on for 30 minutes to prevent myself weeing in the back of my parents' car when I was 16. People (mainly my husband and sons) simply don't "get" why I always have a precautionary pee before I get in the car or if I see public toilets when we're out and about.
Hopefully @TheWrongBus and her daughter have learned their lesson from this episode and will ensure that there is never a repeat.

Mm there is good chance your stop will be spotted on CCTV and you'll get a fine and possibly points on the drivers licence through the post.

Depends where you live CCTV does go out now and again.

With an experienced traffic officer in the family I can tell you, you were 100% wrong and after some of the experiences I have dealt with I can also tell you that you should have let her wet the car. I would advise anyone the same, especially if it's someone you care about.

These refuge spots are monitored by CCTV 24 hours a day. They have stop vehicle detectors on them and are alerted when a car enters. Its dangerous to exit them without using the phone, so the other drivers on the motorway should be slowed to prevent accidents.

This. You plan the stops and only allow sips of water in-between.

We know she's NINE. it's still very DANGEROUS.