Or is there a solution I can't see?

I got numbered with driving my child and hour to college and an hour back so four hours each day if you see what I mean because her dad was working and at the time I wasn't. It was truly awful. Explore all options. Good luck.

I agree with others I would be deferring dd instead of ds. She's worked hard to get into college and I totally get its a shame she'd miss out, but at 16 she could get a job which would give her a wealth of experience, would mean she's still out meeting people and being busy during the day and earning money. That way maybe a run to work would be easier for you to manage and she'll be with people all day who will know her medical history? Then by the time she's leaving college she'll have more real world experience than the rest of her year? I think it's an unreasonable ask for her not to be alone for 5 months, but equally I wouldn't want to run the risk of her collapsing in the street alone with goodness knows who walking by, that could leave her quite vulnerable.

Ask him why he won't feel guilty if she has a seizure and he had prioritised getting to work instead of taking her...

Your DH sounds like a dick. Shifting all the responsibility and guilt on to you, don’t accept it! You’ve said he can start later so there’s your solution. He can work later if needs be.

Is your ds not entitled to transport? If he’s then picked up early enough you could bring dd.
Dh shouldn’t get out of it just because you are a sahm. When a child has medical issues/additional needs then it takes all hands on deck

I said to DH I thought she'd be okay getting the bus but he said well you'd feel guilty if she had a seizure and you weren't there but if she has a seizure when I'm driving I can't do much either.

That is really manipulative of your DH there. How would you be responsible for her having a seizure and equally you are not in control of adding a few more hours to the day to make all of this work. Your DH is coming across really badly here.

That's awful that he shifting all the responsibility and potential guilt onto you. Completely unfair when he's not offering any solutions himself.

I'd speak to her college, they may have options available you haven't thought of. Admittedly was university but when I got sick and unable to attend all my classes in person I was allowed to listen to taped lectures (they already made these) and not have to attend tutorials or lectures which was part of the grade normally. You'll need to talk to them anyway about the seizure. Maybe she could do a reduced time table, go in less days, do longer days, but less, their may be adjustments that her college can make to make this workable. If dont know what work for your DS, with mine if I had to do this it'd be tablet, food and headphones on so he could zone out in the car. Also could DS reduced time table be rejigged to work with her college hours?

sounds brutal but surely your son’s school education takes priority over your daughter’s college? If your DH ‘won’t’ help (and sorry you’re married to a selfish man) then I would see the priority sitting that way round. Easier to wait a year for college or choose a different course, than to miss school in your allocated year.

If she gets the bus she won't be on her own will she? The doctor has probably meant for her no to be left completely alone where no one can assist her or call 999 if she has a seizure. If she were to have a seizure on the bus there would be someone there either the bus driver or a member of the public to call for help. Tell her to sit at the front of the bus or close to another person. You could also buy her one of those medical bracelets with instructions to call 999 of she has a seizure.

If she’s travelling on a bus and it happens, someone will call an ambulance, but if you drop her off super early she may be on her own at college.
Not the best solution and it’s a tough one for you to manage

Did she get any seizure stopping medication on discharge? If not then if she has another one an ambulance will need to be phoned so that paramedics can administer it. If she has a medic alert bracelet then I think that will be probably the best possible choice here. People around her can ring for an ambulance. As others said getting a bus means she won’t be alone.

Bus with trusted friends who know what to do

90 minutes by car - how long is the bus journey? That’s incredibly inconvenient. It doesn’t seem fair at all to delay DS’s September school start because she’s chosen a college which is so far away. Better for her to defer until she can take the bus herself.

Edit: apologies I misread. It’s a 45-minute journey each way.

Drop DS at 8:45 and DD at 10:15. Have a word with college I'm sure they'd understand. Or defer her for a year with what's going on.

That seems a very unreal ask to not leave a 16 year old alone for 5 months. I’m not sure how anybody would achieve that?!

But I would not defer DS school start, I would argue this is actually a higher priority. I would look to defer DD instead if I’m honest. Probably not a popular opinion, but I would look into a different college, part time course even which might be more workable hours wise. I would say 45 minute journey is too far in this situation, and if she had a seizure at college you are such a very long way away.

DD needs to consider alternative options, or take the risk of having a seizure alone (which is entirely possible anyway as who can be with a 16 year old 24/7 for 5 months, you would have to take her into the bathroom with you and to your bedroom etc).

Make sure she has a medical emergency bracelet and full medical emergency information on her phone. They wouldn't ask this of an adult and it's not reasonable to ask it of a 16 year old. Do you think they might have meant don't let her go off on her own rurally or late at night (i.e where there wouldn't be someone around to see what happened)? That would be a more logical thing to have meant I think?

Can she defer for a year? If her condition is serious it may be that she has to have significant time off anyway. She's old enough to see that. And her little brother shouldn't suffer.
Otherwise just let her go alone and call an ambulance if she's unwell.

https://www.medicalert.org.uk/products/

Get her something like this

Speak to the college - they might be able to make an adjustment for her to start later. Then you could drop ds off and take her after. You're still doing a massive trip but at least could do both. Any maybe the bus home.

Pay privately to see a consultant?

Taxi? Or one to a closer college?

Arrange for someone to meet her from the bus stop?

Have a medical emergency card with your number on in case of emergency? Make sure you can track her whereabouts.

What does she want? Is she happy enough to go by bus?

She goes the normal route and if something happens someone calls an ambulance.