Or is there a solution I can't see?

It is a difficult situation because obviously you are going to worry until such time as you get your answers.
I too think its a bit unfair of pp to say DH problem. He may not be able to have flexibility in his job, he is the sole bread winner so needs to work. Realistically she needs to catch the bus. A colleague I work with has seizures and her medical info and hubby contact no is accessible from her phone without the need to unlock it.

She goes on the bus. She won't be alone, members of the public will be around her. She should carry a card with her information on it in case of an emergency. It's safer than her being at college alone in the morning.

Personally I'd contact the bus company. Presumably it will be the same driver/drivers doing the route each day so maybe they could alert the drivers to look out for her. We take the same bus route regularly and see a lot of the same faces and the drivers know all the regulars and look out for some of the older/less robust ones as much as they can (as do the other passengers).

I think it’s unfair that it’s all on you just because you are a SAHM. Your son’s needs matter too. Either your DD wears a medical bracelet and gets the bus, or your DH applies for reasonable adjustments at his work place to be able to drop her for the next few months.

The consultant saying don’t leave her is unrealistic.

We were told the same but I took it to mean within reason you don’t leave the child on their own. Life has to be lived still and there are lots of other important things to consider in the OPs situation.

It's also worth talking to the college about your daughter's timetable. In colleges students rarely have a fully timetabled day - she may not need to start at 9 every day.

Speak to the college, they may well be able to offer support.

Do you have anything in writing to say dd needs 24/7 care, you could try and claim PIP for her and use that money for taxis (although the wait times etc may make that impossible, worth a try though). There's also funding you can apply for through some councils to get support for a few hours a week, which you could use to get a carer on the bus journeys.

Definitely a medicare bracelet, also set up her phone so she can just press one button to call you, make sure her location is on at all times as well.

I also have a dd who is autistic and has seizures and its exhausting. I'm up every hour in the night, she's in very part time school and I have to drop off and pick up because she just can't be on her own. I feel for you op, it's not easy (although I'm single with no help, you just have a dh who's just decided he won't).

I know this probably won't help much, but my son had an unexplained seizure at 17. Just one and never happened again. A nurse friend told me it's quite common for children to have just one and never any more, and no explanation is ever found for it. I know exactly how you're feeling and yes we watched DS like a hawk for months afterwards!

Is the bus a private one arranged by the college or is it a public one? And is it just one direct bus? If it’s just one bus and likely to be the same driver every day, I don’t think the risk of your dd coming to harm is a big one. She could sit at the front near the driver. She might have a seizure again at some point in her life or she might not, but the outcome is unlikely to be massively affected by whether or not her mother is present.

The consultant saying don’t leave her is unrealistic.

My son has severe complex seizures but I can’t be glued to his side 24/7.

Either defer her a year and she accompanies you wherever you go, so she doesn’t feel left alone.

If she had a seizure at college, you’d still be 90 minutes away from her so they’d have to call an ambulance, therefore she may as well catch the bus and carry a medical alert. I assume she would have been happy catching the bus before she had her seizure?

Speak to your son’s school to see if they have a breakfast club that starts early. Ours start at 7am. Or if there is a parent/childminder to drop him early.

Good luck, I know how scary seizures are.

Are you entitled to any LA help with transport for either child?

I think some posters are being a bit unfair to your DH here. He’s working to provide for himself and at least three other dependents. It’s not that simple in most jobs to tell your employer you’ll be coming in late until further notice so that you can do school runs even though there’s another parent at home.

Is there any possibility you could pay for a private hospital assessment for your dd to reduce the wait time? Or go back to the GP and ask if there’s anything they can do to speed things up considering the impact on your children’s education.

Just because you’re a sahm doesn’t mean your husband has zero parenting responsibilities. Get him telt!
All this he told me, he says I have to - shut down that shit now! He is your partner not your boss. He still has a responsibility to his children and this is an impractical situation that he needs to help come up with a solution for. Time to stand up for yourself!

I don't see that DD being without you at college all day (but with other people around) is any different to her being on a bus (with other people around). Given that you are not proposing to spend all day at college with her, send her on the bus. You can wait at the bus stop and see her onto the bus safely.

And I think people are being a little unfair to OP DH. They have divided tasks so that he works and she is SAHM. Flexibility is nice, but not all jobs offer that.

You mentioned another child who you referred to as the eldest. Could that child walk her to the bus stop and see her safely on to the bus. Then she uses her med alert bracelet throughout the day. She’s not going to have you beside her at college so why do you need to be beside her en route? There will be other passengers on the bus just as there will be other people in the college.
Prioritise your little boy here and don’t defer his hard-won place.

Can't you pay for a private consultation so she gets seen sooner. If there was imminent danger would she not get an earlier appointment. Sounds like they are covering for the 5 month delay so no blame can be put on the NHS. And being at college would anybody be trained to deal with a seizure quickly.

But I agree with the poster who said they possibly meant she wasn't to go off alone where she might not be found for hours.

@Emeraldiisland your DH needs to be a but more proactive here. You can’t be in two places at once! Surely he has some flexibility. SAHM does not mean he offloads all responsibility to you. Telling you how you’d feel guilty when he’s doing bugger all 🙄

She won't be "alone" on the bus. Lots of people have a one-off seizure, never to have another. What were the circumstances? I would say she should go on the bus. Perhaps you do it with her a few times if you can so she's comfortable? Then when she is, she can go alone? If possible a trusted friend can go with her.

Contact the team and ask for clarification. Not allowed in her own for five months sounds like over kill. I would tell college. And let her go in the bus. Can you wait with her at bus stop until she is safely on ?

You have a DH problem as much as a logistical one.

@Emeraldiisland I don’t know your financial position, but is there any way you could raise the money for a private referral?
That way the wait would be weeks rather than months.

You say your son is starting on a very reduced timetable, is it possible for him to start later as part of this. I know it would still be a long time in the car but might help.
Has your daughter got her timetable from college? From experiences with my children and friends she may not be in everyday, and may start later some days.
I’d talk to both school and college and see if something workable can be arranged. You could then work it out between you. If you’ve 4 days to cover maybe your Husband could ask for temporary flexible working to go in late/ finish early for 2 days a week and you could have a later start time for your son for the other 2 days.
Hope you get it sorted.

Can you pay for a private neurology appt ? Worth saving for if you need answers. Maybe your DH could work some extra hours? If he doesn't want to you could tell him he much feel guilty

Why on earth would you defer your DS's start? I thought that was a typo. Seems very unfair that he should be the one to be so directly impacted by this.

5 months is a long time. Can you afford to pay for a private appointment? Also I'd be phoning every week to see about a cancellation.