Or is there a solution I can't see?

Find the name of head of neuro team at the hospital - find phone or email.
email this person with short explain.
Waiting for an appointment as X yr old has had a seizure.
Is it ok for her to resume “normal” life - take bus to college?
Or should we wait until see Neuro team?

Follow up til you get a response.

I would go back to the specialist team who gave you the advice that she shouldn't be left alone and clarify what level of supervision they mean. It's not practical to watch someone 24/7 and as a teen that would feel very intrusive.

Make a plan that gives her as much independence as is safe. Being over protective could really dent her confidence and make her unnecessarily anxious about everyday life. If she was diagnosed with epilepsy she'd still need to make her way in life.

Would she actually be alone if she was getting the bus to and from college? There are things you can do to mitigate the risks, she could have her location on while she makes the journey. You can get running watches that send an alarm to a nominated person if someone falls, medi alert bracelets to let someone know her medical history etc, ask her to tell friends what to do if she does have a seizure, make sure her college know etc. As you have already pointed out, if you're driving with your other high needs kid in the car you aren't necessarily the best person to help her if she does have a seizure.

@Emeraldiisland ive just had a thought maybe an Apple Watch might be good for alerting you? Sometimes they have apps that can alert a designated phone number in those sort of situations

I think it's a DH problem if he's effectively blaming OP if DD has a seizure on the bus but not offering to help with transport.

It's not just her problem. He's being unfair.

I would check what the definition of not being left alone means. As others say, she will be on a bus with others and in public, so with a medic alert if she had a seizure an ambulance can be called and you phoned. Not much different to you doing that.Good luck.

@Emeraldiisland have you asked your DD how she felt just before the seizure? Some people have some kind of warning signs beforehand (although some don’t of course).

One of my DC had several seizures during their teenage years. I was also told to not leave them alone (which I said wasn’t possible as a single parent at that time). I borrowed the money to pay for a private appointment and DC was given treatment which helped.

Your biggest problem is that your husband is being very unsupportive and unkind at a time when his children need him most. Is he always a selfish bastard?

My DD has a medical condition that means she could go into crisis and need to be administered with an emergency injection. She will be getting the bus to college which is about 40 mins each way (it’s not far it’s just the bus does a long route round!). She has a medic alert bracelet and is registered with them and the bracelet has their telephone number, her reference number and main medical conditions on there.

The college are fully aware of the situation and what needs to happen if she does go into crisis and she keeps the injection with her at all times. It is difficult but that is what I would advise to do.

I agree with there others that trying to give them independence is important. We have really tried to foster that with our DD and I’ve made many trips to the college on the bus with her to build her confidence up.

If h is so concerned why doesn’t he take her before work ? or are the kids just your responsibility ?

Assuming she would be using public transport to get there she wouldn’t be alone? If DH wants to push it point out she’s at greater risk overnight when she’s alone for a prolonged period than sat on a bus.

As someone with epilepsy I would say if she is comfortable getting the bus then she should do it. You don't want it to be something that defines her, obviously it is a big change to get used to, but you also don't know the frequency of it, she might not have another seizure in months or years so don't let the possibility she's get from college pass her by.

Medic bracelet is a good idea, sitting on the end seat towards the front of the bus, finding out what triggers it, was she stressed or tired at the time?

Some GPs can prescribe starting dose of epilepsy medication as referral time is long

Good luck!

I agree with this, I think it's about building her confidence back up. You cannot go everywhere with her, and it's not needed - she just needs to be safe if (and that's an if at the moment) she does have another seizure. So her going off walking out on her own in the countryside no, her taking a bus to college where there's other people around, OK. I think the medical support bracelet is an excellent idea, as well as contact info on her phone and on paper. Also making sure her phone is charged and what to do if she does feel ill at college/on the bus/in the street etc. I think a lot of the suggestions, eg doing courses online, are not needed at the moment and actually will do more harm than good (loss of confidence, loss of social interaction, mental health decline). I think you want to keep things as normal for her as possible with adjustments to keep her safe where needed. If this is a one off, which hopefully it is, you don't want to have essentially kept her home for 6 months. If it's not a one off, then she needs to learn how to deal with them while still living her life as close to how she wants as she can.

Do the College know? Because they may be unwilling to let her start this year or need to put special measures in place.
My daughter went to a Land Based college and it would probably flag up H&S concerns on a lot of courses there.

Maybe some of the classes will be available to do online.

No chance for a single seizure that on the balance of probabilities won't ever reoccur

DD rides the bus with a medical bracelet or she switches to a college closer to home or your DH alters his hours to run her to/from school.

You cannot and should not do it all as you are clearly also 100% responsible for your DS who has special needs and is starting school on a reduced time table.

Your DH is being a dick, btw. I hope you recognise that. Ask him how will he look at himself in the mirror if his DD has a seizure and he wouldn't change his hours which he CAN do but WON'T.

You have a lot going on & your head must be spinning. If your DS is on a reduced time-table going in later then finishing earlier would miss out the busier times of the day which can be sensory overload to some so could benefit him greatly. This would also help you with dropping off your daughter.

Am that’s not a bad idea at all. Also I feel like she can take her a day or 2 and maybe you dd1 can help for a fee? Depends what they do for work but workplaces are so much more flexible post covid

Also, just some thoughts re the course. Your DD should get in touch with the college and let them know about her health circumstances and it may be they can put reasonable adjustments in place eg if lectures are recorded, can she watch online? Can her classes be scheduled over lesser days than usual so that she can travel less? Or can she attend online? It very much depends on the course and what the college can provide. They will obviously need to know about the risk of seizure so they can put things in place to deal with it if it arises. You could also perhaps look into Disability Support Allowance
www.gov.uk/disabled-students-allowance-dsa

Also, just some thoughts re the course. Your DD should get in touch with the college and let them know about her health circumstances and it may be they can put reasonable adjustments in place eg if lectures are recorded, can she watch online? Can her classes be scheduled over lesser days than usual so that she can travel less? Or can she attend online? It very much depends on the course and what the college can provide. They will obviously need to know about the risk of seizure so they can put things in place to deal with it if it arises. You could also perhaps look into Disability Support Allowance
www.gov.uk/disabled-students-allowance-dsa

I don’t think you need to accompany her to school. I presume the doctor was concerned about her collapsing alone? There will be people on the bus that would be able to help her and call emergency services should something happen. Is it just a public bus or a college specific one?

Also if she’s 16, it is possible that there is a 17 year old at her collage willing to drive for a small fee?

I would try and allow her to keep as much independence as she can. She will probably be struggling with what happened enough as it is without further disruption to her life. Get her a bracelet or necklace with details on, complete the emergency contact information in her phone and write up a card as well that she keeps in her pocket but let her travel on the bus. Help her in other ways if you can. Offer her lifts or collections to activities if she wants them, relieve stress and be supportive.

Your DS has been unsettled since leaving nursery? So a very young child then who could perhaps continue at nursery until Jan.

And starting a reduced timetable? So fine already to miss some hours at primary school, why not ask for a late start?

He’ll be upset or ‘behind’ by starting in Jan? The former that will pass without causing him possible permanent damage and the latter? Small children have fluid friendship groups, learning a routine won’t be affected by a few months so what else would he be getting ‘behind’ in? Colouring in?

Vs

Your DD starting college. A pivotal time in education.

Who needs supervision in case she has another medical episode.

Who also will need to establish a routine, make friends and manage her mental health alongside her physical health.

All of which will be more challenging at her age vs the just starting primary school age DS.

I am astonished that people are suggesting the DS’s education not be disrupted, or that DD should be sent on bus alone.

Why is the son’s inconvenience being prioritised over the daughter’s physical health?

OP, I should have explained my previous post with a bit more detail. Unexplained seizures during puberty come from either a neurological condition or a metabolic one. If the kidneys, for whatever reason, are struggling, they can cause an unexplained seizure. Often hospitals won't do a full blood work with seizures and refer them to a neurological team. They literally wash their hands with advice like never leaving your daughter alone without fully exploring if the issue is likely to be neurological by dismissing 100% is a metabolic issue through blood results.

Few thoughts, EHCP for your DD?
PIP?
Online lessons ?
How many contact hours does she have - it's not likely to be all day every day is it?

Hi OP my son had a seizure when he was 9 - we were away so off to local hospital and they did tests and all were ok - overnight stay and the consultant said that obviously anyone can have a seizure and if nothing obvious shows up to try and relax and not worry.

He did have other seizures when we returned home and eventually was diangosed with sleep epilespy - fortunately by time he was 18 he was off the medication and has been seizure free.

My point is that everyone can have a one seizure - and it is only if there are more that further tests need to be carried out. If your daughter has been seizure free since the first one and if they carried out tests and there were ok I would try and relax (not easy I know).

Tell her college and get her one of the bracklet just in case. Good luck to you all - it is horrible seeing your child have a seizure but hopefully it will just be a one off.