My sister is upset with me for snapping at her son

I wouldn't have the bullying little shit in my house. I know how hugely upset and angry I'd have been if some older kid had got hold of my Teddy and teased me about him at that age. He keeps doing it because he knows how much it distresses her.

The doll is clearly important to her. The 10 year old knows exactly what he’s doing, especially the fact that his cousin doesn’t like it.

He is the one that needs to be told to stop.

You told off your 10 year old nephew OP for being annoying. Nothing wrong with that.

Come on a 6 year old doesn't think a doll is real!

Wow! What an unbelievable lack of empathy. No wonder some children struggle to understand the feelings of others when they have parents who set such a poor example.

A doll or cuddly toy is not just an inanimate object to a child. How unkind to suggest telling a 6 year old that her doll is just a piece of plastic.

Stephen Fry was talking about adults being offended by opinions with which they disagree. That's a completely different situation from a young child being upset by an older child's teasing.

I disagree! If the boy was saying something about her, which she found hurtful or upsetting,then fair enough, i would certainly agree.Another child making funny voices for an inanimate object is not something you should be allowing your child to police.It is a power play by your child.I am put in mind of Stephen Fry's quote a out people being offended by stuff.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine'
Remind her that it is nothing more than a piece of plastic and to stop being so silly.

Depends on how much your DD finds upsetting to be honest. If she's likely to cry at the slightest thing your sisters probably thinking you need to be doing more to give her a tougher skin.

Also calling him a bully isn't really called for. He's making a silly voice with a baby, your DD is almost 7 which is quite old enough to know that the voice is him and that's all there is to it. When you called him a bully I was expecting him to be hitting her, calling her nasty names or being sneaky!

That being said, if you really did just use a firm voice then I wouldn't be that upset... I might snap back at you at the time but I wouldn't drag it onto WhatsApp.

Or maybe you've let your daughter get away with loads of crap and she's held her tounge and when you snapped at her son, she just thought... how dare you!?!

But she doesn't. It doesn't matter if the next 6 year old would find it funny.

A 10 year old is old enough to start to learn that a joke is only funny if everyone is laughing.

Why is your 6 year old so upset by this? Most kids that age would find it funny.

Something is only funny when everyone is having fun. If someone is greatly distressed, it is not funny.

It is very mean to continue to do something that is clearly not a joke as it distresses his wee cousin very much. It is damaging op's daughter. It completely disregards her feelings, violates her boundaries and allowing it sets a terrible precedent for a girl.

You don't think the OP could, just maybe, you never know, actually used a fake name???!

100% this! ⬆️

Agreed. Why else mention the child's name?!

Baby Dave

Sorry

If it upsets your daughter I don't know why it wasn't stopped the first time & not allowed to happen again.

If your sister no longer feels welcome surely that is for her to deal with?

This!

You weren’t wrong at all OP, but I can see why your sister has gone in the defence.

As the mum of a 9 year old boy, I can imagine him doing something like that. Wanting to play but not really knowing how, also insecure underneath so wanting to appear funny, not quite reading the room well enough. If he had upset a cousin like that I would’ve told him to stopped it, and he would’ve had a proper telling off if he’d carried on and been removed, so you definitely were correct to tell him off for carrying on. But your sister probably thinks you and your DD are being precious, it completely depends on the child and parent in the situation.

My DS’ have upset their cousin over the most ridiculous things, and they’ve been told to stop if the cousin is upset, but some children can get upset over things that to others, don’t seem “mean” at all. Your nephew probably started the Baby Dave act trying to get laughs. He should’ve stopped when told it was clearly causing upset, and that’s where the “meanness” started. But as the elder cousin, he is probably fed up with the younger one getting upset over what he perceives to be minor things and him being the one to get in trouble.

This will blow over hopefully, but in future put the doll away where the boy can't find it when they visit. Keep an eye on him though, he sounds mean.

You need to quite firmly tell your sister and your nephew that, 'Baby Ava has a knife and isn't afraid to use it.'

That should put a stop to it.

You did nothing wrong, OP. The question to your dsis would be ‘You heard him persistently doing this, you knew it upset my dd, why didn’t YOU stop him before I had to step in?’

Well you better hope your sister isn’t on here, she won’t take kindly to you naming Callum online 😁 but YANBU

I wouldn't call what he did bullying even though it was annoying for your daughter ! He was just winding her up and if she had ignored it he would have stopped. I think you and your sister are both being over protective tbh. Chill out.

I think there is some overreaction on both sides. Your nephew hearing a raised voice is not going to harm him; your sister is being ridiculous. However, the thing he was doing with the “baby Dave” is just slightly annoying windup behavior, and I think describing this as “bullying” is pretty silly too. Prepare some activities they both might like to do.