Does anyone else not really have any friends?

I don't have any friends. I have a few acquaintances and occasionally go out with some people from work but nothing else.

I think this thread should cheer you up as the vast majority of people talking about having friends only seem to see them a couple of times a year! I wouldn't consider them friends at that point, just social media connections.

I WFH for a company in another country so no work mates and we ,loved get during lockdown and no noone. I like it this way to be honest. No stress or anxiety and lovely peaceful times

I have a friend I’ve known since I was 16 (now 37) we rarely see eachother.. maybe 1-2 times a year at a gig or something, a friend I’ve known about 17 years and we meet up every other month or so and text once a week then I have mum friends who I see for play dates and occasional nights out and I have work friends who I see at work and maybe text out of work but that’s it. I don’t really socialise a lot, I don’t go out drinking and dancing anymore as spend weekends with my husband and son. I do wish I had a closer set of friends though!

I did and I had friends, plenty of them through school, uni and afterwards
Then one moved abroad
Roughly six of them got married and had dc and now only socialise with people with children
One stole from me and I ditched her

Basically because I don't have children I got ditched

Now I have people I am friendly with but not invite over for a night in kind of friendly, more acquaintances and lots of online friends who are hours away from me

you sound similar to me and most of my friends are male. we watch films and netflix and game and eat.

small talk coffee chats drive me insane.

Recently I’ve had a revelation and realised I have acquaintances not friends.

I’m always the person who’ll offer to pick some shopping off, drop a lasagne off or help out in any emergency. This year I’ve had a very difficult year with family illness and it’s made me understand that what you give isn’t what you get.

Now I’m getting older it bothers me less. I go for coffee on my own and my party days are behind me.

In my 20’s and 30’s I was lonely and isolated as every one of my friends started having children and moving onto new friendships.

I have a lot of associates and acquaintances, true friends not many. I only see most of them or hear from them when I make the effort, and I suspect if I stopped 90% of them I’d never see again. It makes me very sad sometimes when I try to keep in touch with people, remember their birthdays and news, ask after their families etc and hardly anyone bothers with me. Probably only 2-3 people who I think genuinely care about me like I do them.

I think Uni and high school are the best times to make friends though. Miss that and you're screwed.

Well that's not necessarily true. I have one friend from high school. I didn't go to Uni. I'm 40 now and still making new friends.

It does take some effort to maintain them, the same way a romantic relationship does. I really consciously make an effort to remember life events and things that have come up in conversation and follow up (Did you have a good day out at X? How was your interview? Has your DH's cold cleared up?)

I have lots of friends. But I’m single with no kids and no family living in the same city as me. If I didn’t have friends I would be completely alone all the time.

Your last sentence is both insensitive and untrue.

I’ve never figured out how to make friends as an adult. I can’t tell when people are genuinely interested in hanging out again and when they’re just being polite, and “normal” female social interaction doesn’t come naturally to me. It’s like stammering along in a foreign language that I only have passing familiarity with.

When I was a teenager, my friends were people who did the same extracurricular activities and liked the same books and TV and movies. We could spend hours talking about stuff we liked, but we didn’t have emotionally revealing conversations. Apparently this is more like how boys and men make friends, according to what I’ve read?

One close friend , the others are but acquaintances really.

This is insensitive.

I have absolutely no friends at all.

I have people I know well like at our walking club but not really friends as such that they would come round the house for a chatty night in

I prefer siblings and cousins to friends but I do have two good, close friends and two work friends plus a larger group of aquaintances I only see a couple of times per year.

Ive worked full time for over 40 years none-stop and moved over sixteen times, so that limits friendships to those who can be bothered to make an effort.

I think Uni and high school are the best times to make friends though. Miss that and you're screwed.

Look up Robin Dunbar's books about friendship. You might find it very interesting.

I have groups of acquaintances but a just a handful of friends who I tend to see 1:1. Coffee, or walk usually. Occasionally a meal out with a small group of work colleagues. I don't have any friends from my school days and didn't go to university.

I get on well enough with most of the people I come across but you can have too much of a good thing and enjoy my own company too. When the children were small we had family friends but they've mainly dropped by the wayside. I love the company of my adult dc but don't rely on them to keep me entertained.

Not a party animal at all and would say DH is my closest friend. I love my female friends but we're not in each other's pockets at all.

Works for me.

I agree, not being unkind @Newsenmum but there are tons of reasons, sheer exhaustion from getting up at 5:45 to work full time combined with being a single parent scuppered my enthusiasm to socialise initially. I spent years being bone tired and going to bed when DC did.

Now, I like my own company enough for my lack of social life not to worry me. I go to a hobby one night a week/one morning at the weekend which is ok right now.

I have a group of friends but as we've got older, meeting up has been a rarity. Husbands, kids, extended family commitments and distance make it a once in a blue moon event.

I feel like most women have these big groups of girlfriends.

I don't think that's true.
I would say I have lots of friends, but there isn't one big group. I'm friendly with A&B who I used to go to school with and C who I worked with decades ago, then D&E from current work and F from one hobby and G, H, and I from where I volunteer, etc., etc. They don't all know each other. I am in touch with different people in different ways and meet with them for different things.

There are threads like this on MN every week, so clearly there are a disproportionately large number of people who post on here, who don't have friends. So it isn't unusual amongst MNers.

Well, I'd expect that if you suffer from lack of confidence/social anxiety, you wouldn't be confused as to why don't have friends and therefore wouldn't make a post about it.

I hate to say it, but it gets worse as you get older. I've outlived several of my friends, and a couple are very busy with GCs and/or caring for ageing partners.

Largely through prioritising work which limits my social life I'm pretty much the same these days. I have one friend who I could call on in an emergency but other than that my friend circle is non existent. I don't miss the hangovers after a night out and the occasional falling out and drama and do enjoy my own company but it's something that does make me feel a bit sad sometimes.
I will say that I don't think a huge friend group is the norm despite what social media tells you.

I have friends. However they're married with kids and so busy that we rarely see each other anymore. Only 1 or 2 that I see regularly. I feel like I see my mom the most. I also have 2 hobby groups so while we sre not really frieds. It is still social. We've been talking about moving and I'm very worried about not having friends.