Does anyone else not really have any friends?

Lost contact with most of my school friends. Have a few on FB. Most of my friends are current and former colleagues and generally older than me.

I have bonded better with older colleagues at my previous employers. Probably because I have an older taste in music for one.

I have one who lives miles away

I seemed to lose most of mine over my pregnancy and I’d say I don’t really have any now.

That would hurt. And it is a bit mystifying as I can’t think they could have faked getting on with you in such an intense environment. If it bothers you, had you thought of just asking? 🤷🏻‍♀️ The waving you off for the party is sufficiently outside normal as to mean you would have justifiable reason for asking. I know someone who did once just ask. They were honest and told her she tended to talk over people and dominate the conversation (she did); ( not suggesting you do). She honestly had no idea and I noticed she reined it in a lot after that. She just needed to know.

My major problem is that I am not very chatty and usually end up listening to other people holding the floor. They like talking about themselves and never show interest in what I have to say. I get tired of people cancelling on me and making excuses why they can't meet up. I prefer to keep my own company as it does not lead to hassle from other people.

I simply can't be arsed! I can chat happily to strangers when I'm out and about, but otherwise happy in my own company.

I have one I rarely see as she lives far away. She's socially awkward like me 😅

I don't mind though, I do what I want by myself anyway without stressing..spa, movies, restaurants. Probably looks odd to others but I don't know them so it doesn't matter 😜

I have lots of acquaintances but no friends to go out for coffee or drinks with.
It used to bother me but now I’m quite happy with my own company. I think I’ve become more introverted as I’ve got older - social situations just seem like too much stress. I worry about what to wear, eat and drink and how to behave.

I have friends from various groups, old school friends, uni friends, NCT friends / mums I’ve met since having children but only a few that I see regularly as life has changed for a lot of us and schedules are busy and we’ve drifted apart.

I get quite socially anxious and don’t really enjoy going out in the evening with new friends - currently avoiding a mums night out that has been scheduled soon that I don’t want to go to. They won’t just accept no and it’s very very annoying. It’s too expensive/ I don’t want to drink / I get anxious and although these women are lovely (and I see them a lot during term time) I want them to back off and respect my boundaries!

Hello, are you me?! I feel so seen 😂

I have one proper friend and sisters who I can always rely on. Other than that, my experience is exactly this. I struggle to build relationships that aren’t based on common interests, I have no idea how to go about it.

I’m busy with DH and DC and outside of that we are frequently busy visiting family (both sides). I have people at work I can grab a coffee or lunch with. Other friendships dissolved over the years. I enjoy where it is now.

I don’t have many friends but I’m not really a social sort of person. I’m happiest in my own company. I have 1 friend from school, 1 school mum friend (children now 29), 2 ex colleagues from work I meet for coffee or lunch 3/4 times a year but could call on if need be, and my sister. I then have people like my neighbours I speak to regularly and have coffee at mine or theirs occasionally and wife’s of some of my husband’s friends.

I have no friends from school or university or work. I’m just not the type of person people want to hang out with and that can be hard to come to terms with. I’m liked by many people but not enough for them to want to spend time with me outside of work/study . I stopped asking to meet up for coffee etc because it was hurting when they’d perpetually push it down the line or ignore it.

I’ve just finished a really intense, years long project where I worked really closely with people I got on well with. It was a highly sociable working environment (necessary for successful outcome) but not once was I ever invited on their nights out. The recent wrap party extended beyond the official event and everyone waved me off in my car without telling me they were away out to the pub/clubs. It hurts. I have no answers.

There are some really daft statements being made on this thread, these two in particular.

I think Uni and high school are the best times to make friends though. Miss that and you're screwed.

I think this thread should cheer you up as the vast majority of people talking about having friends only seem to see them a couple of times a year! I wouldn't consider them friends at that point, just social media connections.

I think groups can generate stress because of politics. I tend to get together with maybe two or three at most at the same time and only because we all belong to the same “place”( eg group of school mums) . I don’t really seek out large group “ membership.”

What a funny perspective. I worked with a woman who was always out socialising with people that she referred to as friends, but her life was really quite empty and those relationships were only superficial. It was her personality that stopped real friendships from forming. She was insufferable one on one.

I don't have any friends, no partner, no kids and the only family I have are my mum and brother.

I have adhd and I'm probably autistic too so I struggle with relationships.

But a true friend doesn't cause stress and anxiety. I do not understand this way of thinking. Why would having friends make you think this?

That used to be me. You’ve just got to keep trying. Life is a series of phases, it’s highly likely you won’t be lonely forever 💐

Edit - I don’t have a big group of girlfriends though and never have. From friends that do, it sounds like more trouble than it’s worth! But on the other hand I was friends with everyone at school for example, so not in any specific group, which means everyone likes you but you’re no-one’s priority. So that’s the downside of not being in a big group.

Me too

Same. I don't see anyone socially whatsoever.

I don't have lots of friends.Maybe 2 I meet a few times a year I've moved around and I'm not working. I have dh and kids. I also know I'm not great friend material. I don't keep in touch, I sometimes don't want to stick to arrangements I've made. It takes alot of effort and commitment and I'm quite happy doing my own thing.

I have in order ,my Sisters ,who I see every week at least,my Uni friends who I see as a group once a month ,and a couple of them every week , and school friends every 6 weeks or so
But I have stayed in the same area all of my life which makes it easier

I seem to keep hold of a small handful from each phase of my life - so still a few from first school, then senior school, a decent handful from university ( maybe a dozen), work and now a few ( on average 3) from each nursery and school class each of my dcs have been in. But at the time I am involved in any of those things I have a lot more, I seem to just skim a small handful on and into the future. But I don’t necessarily mix them all up as they don’t all have things in common.
What I do have is a close friend who is always warm when I contact and is always happy to catch up but only ever texts or phones for a kind of “ urgent” reason, like organising where to meet or sorting something out. Other people I share less with ( and who share less with me) when together will send me random chatty messages on a much more regular basis. It just doesn’t seem to be this person’s style. But I do find it odd because if I go quiet I simply don’t hear from her until finally she suggests coffee or lunch. Maybe just not a messager. So people have different styles.

That’s a ridiculous statement. I’m not on social media and wouldn’t know if my friends are but one of the people I only see once or twice a year is my best friend and has been for 34 years. The fact that we now live 230 apart is irrelevant.