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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thanks to Mumsnet users for helping me see sense!

116 replies

verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:18

Sorry I don’t know where else to post this to hopefully reach the people that seen the post about me! I joined as someone messaged me on tik tok and told me there was a thread on here about me! I had a public tik tok account with some very dark humour on there and photos and videos of my kids. Well I have actually deactivated that account so thanks the people that were harsh to me and said what I probably needed to hear. Thanks to you my kids are no longer being shared on social media, no sharing my life with the world and no viral videos that a lot of people found offensive especially as my kids were in the videos.
i promise I’m not a bad person. Just a mum with a disabled child and find life hard and use dark humour as a coping mechanism but I have never started that account with the aim of going viral and making money etc. it’s just not worth it though I have to think about my kids and their privacy etc so thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:47

But so many people have messaged me asking me if I’m ok because I haven’t posted tik toks. I probably did about 3 a day. Question to you all tho - do you share stuff on a private Facebook page or insta? Or never post at all?

OP posts:
Screenshotted · 23/08/2024 16:46

I am now intrigued though. What were you posting on TikTok?!

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:44

YellowphantGrey · 23/08/2024 16:42

I remember your post.

Glad you've removed your tik tok. It definitely wouldn't be worth the grief or long term effects on your children. Whatever you put online is there forever.

It's not a case that I don't appreciate dark humour, I just don't appreciate when it's aimed an individual that's vulnerable and identifiable.

Bit you've definitely been the bigger person here so fair play to you (there's more to here than aibu too!)

I remember your name! I’m so glad you’ve seen this. I hope people that found me go off and try look for me on tik tok now and see I no longer exist! When I told my daughter what I done she was actually really happy and said her friends are always talking about my videos and so are their mums. She felt she couldn’t tell me that before.

OP posts:
SensibleSigma · 23/08/2024 16:42

Straight talking is easy here, because you don’t see each other at the school gate!

It’s really useful to get a range of opinions- no one needs to hold back for fear of looking silly, or being in a minority.

We can all ‘fess up and you find out what other people ’really’ think about x, y or z.

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:42

SensibleSigma · 23/08/2024 16:38

Oops , cross post!

Thing is, it’s like looking in the windows of someone else’s life. You learn such a lot, and sometimes find a different way to think about things that’s helpful.

The people on the savings and pension threads know that they are in a fortunate position- they know that disabled children, a disability yourself or just bad luck makes it almost impossible to save. They wouldn’t judge you. But they may tell you where to get pasta 5p cheaper 🤣

My parents don’t have a private pension only the state one and they seem to be ok but now I’m stressing that I don’t have one at 37😂 I’ve worked but all jobs that people here probably look down on. All minimum wage but now I’m a full time carer to my son. Thanks to the government I get an amazing £80 a week carer allowance 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
YellowphantGrey · 23/08/2024 16:42

I remember your post.

Glad you've removed your tik tok. It definitely wouldn't be worth the grief or long term effects on your children. Whatever you put online is there forever.

It's not a case that I don't appreciate dark humour, I just don't appreciate when it's aimed an individual that's vulnerable and identifiable.

Bit you've definitely been the bigger person here so fair play to you (there's more to here than aibu too!)

Screenshotted · 23/08/2024 16:41

My kids are at university now. I have never shared a photo or identifiable story about them on social media. No regrets.

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:38

SensibleSigma · 23/08/2024 16:36

How very dare you! We’re very witty, I’ll have you know! 🤣

It’s a big place. A few arseholes like everywhere else.

Wide range of interesting stuff- I leaned new stuff every day!

Honestly I got the impression you’re all posh and sensible 😂 what I do relate to is the straight talking. No one held back telling me
what I was found was wrong. I can’t stand people that pussy foot around their point. Make your point loud and clear 😂 you sensible sallys seem ok after all

OP posts:
SensibleSigma · 23/08/2024 16:38

Oops , cross post!

Thing is, it’s like looking in the windows of someone else’s life. You learn such a lot, and sometimes find a different way to think about things that’s helpful.

The people on the savings and pension threads know that they are in a fortunate position- they know that disabled children, a disability yourself or just bad luck makes it almost impossible to save. They wouldn’t judge you. But they may tell you where to get pasta 5p cheaper 🤣

SensibleSigma · 23/08/2024 16:36

How very dare you! We’re very witty, I’ll have you know! 🤣

It’s a big place. A few arseholes like everywhere else.

Wide range of interesting stuff- I leaned new stuff every day!

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:35

SensibleSigma · 23/08/2024 16:28

Good idea to keep a journal.

Id hang around if I were you. There’s no need to fit in, and lots of sensible women here keep each other straight and offer support!

Show quote history

And also I might learn something. Been reading all sorts on here about things like pension and saving money etc and honestly that’s so far off my radar in my life and the people I know. Never heard of anyone talking about pensions I don’t know anyone with savings. I feel low class and stupid 😭😂

OP posts:
Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:31

SensibleSigma · 23/08/2024 16:28

Good idea to keep a journal.

Id hang around if I were you. There’s no need to fit in, and lots of sensible women here keep each other straight and offer support!

Show quote history

Well I just seen the post about the cleaner finding a vibrator so maybe this is for me after all 😂 I thought you was all very serious on here!!

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SensibleSigma · 23/08/2024 16:28

verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:25

I have literally shared their lives for years and years. Public page on Facebook too. All that gone now. I think I should just write a journal instead!

Show quote history

Good idea to keep a journal.

Id hang around if I were you. There’s no need to fit in, and lots of sensible women here keep each other straight and offer support!

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:25

GrazingSheep · 23/08/2024 16:23

It’s always a good idea to avoid posting about your children on social media. You have done the right thing

I have literally shared their lives for years and years. Public page on Facebook too. All that gone now. I think I should just write a journal instead!

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 23/08/2024 16:23

It’s always a good idea to avoid posting about your children on social media. You have done the right thing

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:22

And jhst to add I repotted the last thread to mumsner and asked for them to delete it which they did, so thank you. I just wanted to write this post which only make sense to those that seen the last post! I probably won’t fit in here so I can leave after this. Xx

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