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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thanks to Mumsnet users for helping me see sense!

116 replies

verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:18

Sorry I don’t know where else to post this to hopefully reach the people that seen the post about me! I joined as someone messaged me on tik tok and told me there was a thread on here about me! I had a public tik tok account with some very dark humour on there and photos and videos of my kids. Well I have actually deactivated that account so thanks the people that were harsh to me and said what I probably needed to hear. Thanks to you my kids are no longer being shared on social media, no sharing my life with the world and no viral videos that a lot of people found offensive especially as my kids were in the videos.
i promise I’m not a bad person. Just a mum with a disabled child and find life hard and use dark humour as a coping mechanism but I have never started that account with the aim of going viral and making money etc. it’s just not worth it though I have to think about my kids and their privacy etc so thank you.

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Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:57

TheClawDecides · 23/08/2024 17:55

Ahh ok, so it's not 'up to them what they do on their phones'.

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No it isn’t is it. I didn’t think that through properly 😂 but the thing with the tik tok with my 11 year old is what I’m not sure about. Pretty much all her friends have tik tok but I know from experience you can’t control what they see on there

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Stringagal · 23/08/2024 17:56

Toiletbrushdisaster · 23/08/2024 17:44

Katie Price here. I'm offended !

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If you really were her, I’d dread to think what happened with the toilet brush

TheClawDecides · 23/08/2024 17:55

verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:48

their dad put some sort of app on there so we know where they are and also it asks to get parent permission to downlaod apps. We can also control their screen time but we don’t. Their dad is stricter then me and we are together by the way so we sometimes don’t agree

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Ahh ok, so it's not 'up to them what they do on their phones'.

wrongthinker · 23/08/2024 17:54

verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:51

Basically the thing that someone posted about was a video that went viral of me saying I don’t have a favourite child but if I had to pick it would be this one. And it was a photo of my disabled child. I put he came with lots of money a free car and I didn’t to line up for rides in theme parks 😭 I also posted one saying how to make one of these. Have a baby with someone in Bristol because they’re all special there or shake a normal one but it’s frowned upon.

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Okay, I laughed! I agree it's a bad idea to post your kids online but you are funny so maybe find a way to express your dark humour that doesn't involve your kids. Maybe writing, or making videos on other topics?

Taluulaah · 23/08/2024 17:52

I didn’t see the original thread but reading thru this I get the jist , and I gotta say, OP, you’ve really taken it on the chin - It’s never easy to admit when you’re wrong, or to admit when critics have a point, but you’ve taken it all on board and been the bigger person here. Held your hands up and admitted you made a mistake, and tried your best to put it right. Kudos to you!

Im sure there will be people who will give you stick even after you’ve made your apologies and removed your videos - there’s always a handful of em who love to stick the knife in, isn’t there. But don’t let it get to ya, you’ve handled things really well from what I can see - so just keep doing exactly that!

As a side note, I like a bit of dark humor too and can def see where yours is coming from, but keeping it between you and your mates and off social media is gonna avoid anyone getting offended or making you out to be some villain.

Nice to have you here - I’m pretty new around here too, so welcome, from another newbie 😊

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:50

Stringagal · 23/08/2024 17:48

Nah, most of us find kids are annoying little fuckers at times. Almost as annoying as husbands. We really do love them, but we also dream about having exotic holidays without them.

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😂 this makes me feel better about counting down the days until the schools go back 😂 I love them but I’m so done with these holidays!

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Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:49

Toiletbrushdisaster · 23/08/2024 17:44

Katie Price here. I'm offended !

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😭😂😂😂😭😭

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Stringagal · 23/08/2024 17:48

verityrosa · 23/08/2024 16:53

See I can’t believe someone on here has said kids are twats 😂 I thought you would all be very serious the whole time here 😂

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Nah, most of us find kids are annoying little fuckers at times. Almost as annoying as husbands. We really do love them, but we also dream about having exotic holidays without them.

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:48

TheClawDecides · 23/08/2024 17:44

You think it's up to an 11yr old and a 14yr old what they do on their phones?

How far do you take that?

their dad put some sort of app on there so we know where they are and also it asks to get parent permission to downlaod apps. We can also control their screen time but we don’t. Their dad is stricter then me and we are together by the way so we sometimes don’t agree

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Toiletbrushdisaster · 23/08/2024 17:44

verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:08

Good lord no 😂😂😂

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Katie Price here. I'm offended !

TheClawDecides · 23/08/2024 17:44

You think it's up to an 11yr old and a 14yr old what they do on their phones?

How far do you take that?

CeruleanDive · 23/08/2024 17:42

SensibleSigma · 23/08/2024 17:05

Gallows humour among the desperate is hardly unknown. Don’t scare her off. Let her stay around and find a better outlet for her stress.

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Don’t scare her off? You think someone posting that kind of shit to millions on TikTok is going to be bothered by me telling her I find it grim?

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:41

TheClawDecides · 23/08/2024 17:39

How old are they and what social media do they have?

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The Facebook accounts they hardly use it’s more for family that’s on there.

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Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:40

TheClawDecides · 23/08/2024 17:39

How old are they and what social media do they have?

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The 2 of mine that have it are 11 and 14. Tik tok and Facebook and Snapchat

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TheClawDecides · 23/08/2024 17:39

verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:34

Can I ask an other thing too please. Do you allow your kids to have social media? Mine do but now I’m thinking should I get them to delete it? Or can I not do that anyway because it’s up to them what they do on their phones

How old are they and what social media do they have?

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:34

Can I ask an other thing too please. Do you allow your kids to have social media? Mine do but now I’m thinking should I get them to delete it? Or can I not do that anyway because it’s up to them what they do on their phones

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Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:30

GrazingSheep · 23/08/2024 17:24

Do you have friends in real life?

And 1 of those friends is one that also uses dark humour and we both have been through a lot of trauma and we do joke together. Not going to stop that but that’s in private with my friend. One other that is sort of like me but not as bad and the other 2 it wouldn’t go down well with so I don’t speak like that around them. If that makes sense.

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Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:27

GrazingSheep · 23/08/2024 17:24

Do you have friends in real life?

Yes but not loads! I would say 4 friends that are real friends. Ones I trust my life with! Plus a few more that I meet for a coffee now and again but not really close. And then childhood / family friends.

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TheBlackSheepbaaaa · 23/08/2024 17:25

verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:22

So I’ve left tik tok to become addicted to mumsnet! It’s a bit like social media then but it’s all anonymous? Does anyone arrange mum meet ups ?

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Possibly! 😆

Yes it anonymous, not sure if meet ups are ever arranged. Someone else might be able to answer that.

GrazingSheep · 23/08/2024 17:24

Do you have friends in real life?

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:22

TheBlackSheepbaaaa · 23/08/2024 17:20

Have a look at the different boards OP, there's some fab posters on here and a lot of support offered if someone should need it. Obviously there's the odd arse here and there but such is life.
I tend to go between here, mumsnet chat, the relationship board and mumsnet classics but there's loads more. I've learned a lot and I think some of what I've learned has changed me as a person in a positive way. I probably spend far too much time on here tbh 😊

So I’ve left tik tok to become addicted to mumsnet! It’s a bit like social media then but it’s all anonymous? Does anyone arrange mum meet ups ?

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Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:21

Sorry I don’t mean to say thick as offensive! It’s how I describe myself sometimes

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Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:21

SensibleSigma · 23/08/2024 17:19

@sunseaandsoundingoff is talking about how robust MN is about women’s rights. It’s one of the few places where women’s rights can be discussed openly where they conflict with the rights of transwomen.

@sunseaandsoundingoff as you know, transphobia should be reported so it can be deleted.

I’m gonna have to Google this 😭 I don’t know what the issue is with trans women’s rights. I feel so thick here 😂

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TheBlackSheepbaaaa · 23/08/2024 17:20

Have a look at the different boards OP, there's some fab posters on here and a lot of support offered if someone should need it. Obviously there's the odd arse here and there but such is life.
I tend to go between here, mumsnet chat, the relationship board and mumsnet classics but there's loads more. I've learned a lot and I think some of what I've learned has changed me as a person in a positive way. I probably spend far too much time on here tbh 😊

Original poster
verityrosa · 23/08/2024 17:20

sunseaandsoundingoff · 23/08/2024 17:17

Basically the rules here are that you can't say anything that may be offensive or not compassionate to anyone with ADHD, autism, and so on.

And if your post is complaining about someone, people will say that person probably has ADHD or autism even when they obviously don't.

But you can be as nasty as you like about trans people, because apparently according to mumsnet they aren't people, they're just rapists who are going to shag your kids or granny if they see them in a public toilet.

What the actual fuck?! Is that a joke? This doesn’t seem the sort of place that would be nasty about anyone to be honest and that’s transphobia!

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