Thanks to Mumsnet users for helping me see sense!

It’s the common sense approach but strangely absent in the real world- at least the part that’s allowed to speak.

It’s a hot topic here because there were so few other places prepared to allow the conversation to happen- and it was dicey here, at times. It’s very heated because good women left this site over what we were and weren’t allowed to say. People fell out with the moderating team, and were banned, and it was a sad era. However, sensible and respectful guidance emerged and we have a way to discuss things. There are ‘monitors’ who sit and read and report us for misgendering, being insulting and so on. And a few who show admirable persistence in turning up to tell us we’re wrong.

We had to argue here for the right to refer to a convicted rapist as ‘he’, when the courts were insisting on using ‘she’. That was a win for us, and it’s actually been a win in the courts as well.

So that’s a hot button subject- just giving you the background so you know what to expect.

I remember the thread about you and whilst I've never seen your TikToks I did find the dark humour about your favourite kid funny, you went too far with the shake the baby bit but humour is subjective and we all find different things funny 🤷🏼‍♀️
One thing I'm getting from reading your posts is that you are very quick to listen to other people's opinions, do you have much confidence in yourself and your decisions? I've found MN helpful for a lot of different things and it's definitely opened my eyes to new ways about thinking about a situation but please don't change who you are as a person just because anonymous people in your phone tell you how you should behave/raise your children. Sure take on board different opinions but trust yourself to make the final decision, you know your kids, your DH, your life etc way better than anybody else.
You'll find some right twats on here that spend their days posting shite on people's threads just to shit stir and attack and cause trouble, ignore the goady fuckers cos most of us are sound and are here to lift each other up not tear each other down.
If you enjoy doing tiktok dances etc and that's your release then crack on, just check with your kids first if they want to be a part of it or not. You can still have a tiktok account that's for you and doesn't show your kids, talks about them

I'm glad you've done what you have OP, but please don't joke about shaken babies. If you've ever seen the horrible outcome of this, you wouldn't find it funny. It really isn't and I am known for having an extremely dark SOH, when it comes to my own life. Not so much tiny babies who will never see and need constant care because of what was done to them.

Then you’ll feel at home here. It’s absolutely fine to be uncomfortable with that. But someone will be along shortly to scold us, don’t worry.

Women evolved to recognise the threat that an unknown male poses when they’re somewhere they aren’t supposed to be.

I won’t be told how to feel.

Question to you all tho - do you share stuff on a private Facebook page or insta? Or never post at all?

Never post at all. I'm not even on Facebook or insta.

Re: trans issues.

It's a red herring.

MN is not a transphobic site. Trans activists just like to use that term to try and stop us talking about women's rights when they come into conflict with that of men.

An example may be should a woman be able to refuse an intimate exam from a male person who identifies as female? Or should men who identify as female compete in female sports?

There were some very dark days when MN was one of very few SM sites that allowed any discussion at all on this topic.

Credit to MMHQ that they stood firm (despite many threats and loss of ad income).

It's an oft used quote but like many others I joined MN to talk about parenting. I've stayed predominantly because of the feminism boards.

JFC, give over.

I like the anonymity that is possible on MN with user names and name changes possible. I don't like to share personal things, nor do my family, we dont do it on any SM sites. But as OP mentions their are some people on MN who post really useful information and are well informed on particular topics, pensions and legal stuff, which is useful. I've never felt the need to overshare in RL either and only do that with very close friends. Everyone is different. I just don't see the point of it.

Agree with you, tho I think it changes things when these things are posted to social media, particularly when vulnerable/unable to consent/kids are involved. I didn’t see the posts so I don’t even know if that was the case, but it sounds like OP has done right thing by her kids tbf. Otherwise, yeah, I would agree that she can post whatever she wants. I probably found her “joke” funnier than I should’ve 🫣

Preachhhhhhhhhhh

if deleting the content felt right for you, go for it but don't be forced to do anything you don't want to by some faceless troll on a forum that is 99% fake. I don't have tiktok but I thought what was repeated on here was funny. my kid is autistic and life is hard. humour is a coping mechanism.

I don't post anything about my children on SM at all without their permission.

When I do it's for things like birthday's or a family celebration. Positive posts only.

Good for you though in taking feedback on the chin and making a change.

As for fitting in on MN, I find the diversity of backgrounds/circumstances and views is what make the site valuable.

Oh don't worry, I know it!

I personally thought the person who posted that thred was a judgemental twat-waffle and should have minded their own beeswax, but there you go.

If people find 'jokes' about shaking babies 'grim', they're allowed to shout it from the roof tops if they choose.

Plus, the OP could be anyone anyway.

Maybe not, but considering she’s trying to apologise for that behaviour, when you bring it up repeatedly it might come off like you’re being a dick about it. Think pp was maybe just saying that you made your point, n to give it a rest now and ease off on the (repeated) criticism so OP feels like she’s welcome here.

Try this as a very clear example of how women’s rights can be undermined by transwomen (for clarity, people born male who prefer to appear female).

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/krhu7xJWHU3SjBN2/?mibextid=KsPBc6