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Cleaner found my toy - need to emigrate

260 replies

Alaskabound · 23/08/2024 15:53

Am I being unreasonable to go to Alaska, or would even further be more appropriate? Would have to be English speaking, but i would be sending for the DCs when the dust settles so i can’t afford Australia. Unless they go overland… Hmm.

DCs at a sleepover last night. A night alone meant the first time I could have some me time in six loooooong weeks of summer holiday. So obviously I used my rabbit thruster three times in 10 hours discerningly checked to see if my discreet adult toy was still working in case it were ever to be called upon. Unfortunately I left it on the bedside table because I was getting the last one in casually strolling out to pick the DCs up. The cleaner has been, and has placed it in a drawer. The cleaner who I know from the school playground and to whom I have never said a word other than to discuss cleaning and make small talk.

So the question is, is there an Air Alaska or should I go via American / United and change at their hubs? I will check for responses whilst packing. Thanks.

OP posts:
Choochoo21 · 23/08/2024 18:39

Simonjt · 23/08/2024 16:04

Ah could be worse, ours recently asked where we bought our squirter pump for cleaning in awkward places and flushig out the overflow on the sink. It’s a douche, shes been cleaning our bathroom with something that goes up my actual arse.

Personal question - are you a gay man? And is this used so other people’s body parts come out clean?

MadamePeriwinkle · 23/08/2024 18:39

If it makes you feel better my mum found mine when I was moving out of my first flat and just as she waves it aloft and asked what it was (very simple chrome finish number, not immediately obvious)…my dad walked into the room.

Also accidentally set my womaniser off in a rucksack when my teenage daughter was in the room…

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 23/08/2024 18:37

You could volunteer to join the research station on Antarctica 😊

HelpAGirlOut1234 · 23/08/2024 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lighten up... Sounds like you could do with a good session with a buzzy little friend 😅

FeralNun · 23/08/2024 18:33

Simonjt · 23/08/2024 16:04

Ah could be worse, ours recently asked where we bought our squirter pump for cleaning in awkward places and flushig out the overflow on the sink. It’s a douche, shes been cleaning our bathroom with something that goes up my actual arse.

Way funnier than the OP! 😂

JanefromLondon1 · 23/08/2024 18:33

You need to brazen it out and look pleasantly pleased each time you see her.

Mind you I'm planning for our deaths and what will happen to our collection n. I've mentioned to my friends that if I and DH were to die in an unfortunate accident one of them needs to use the key safe, enter my house and retrieve the grey box from under the bed!!

The eulogies may be interesting if not 😂

BowlOfNoodles · 23/08/2024 18:33

Yes leave today

Confused118 · 23/08/2024 18:31

OP don't worry about it, it will have been funny for about 10 minutes and then she probably never thought about it again

AmiablePedant · 23/08/2024 18:29

PrincessOlga · 23/08/2024 18:23

Please don't mock the OP. Some people get off on publishing such stories on forums. I spoke to an interesting psychologist at a party (she was researching people who make "poo posts" on forums and in letters to neighbours - yes, really!) and they have deep-seated issues.

Um, apropos the OP's original post, can we spell PLAYFULNESS? TONGUE IN CHEEK WIT? COMIC HYPERBOLE? Even IMPROV?

Simonjt · 23/08/2024 18:29

SummerSplashing · 23/08/2024 16:08

@Simonjt

come on mate, that's half the story!!

what did you say to her?

I was sadly not at home, so my husband told her it was a repurposed snot sucker thing. It went straight in the bin, we bought two and now we have a special one purely for cleaning those awkward places in the bathroom that the cleaner can use to her hearts content.

nextdoorconundrum · 23/08/2024 18:25

PrincessOlga · 23/08/2024 18:23

Please don't mock the OP. Some people get off on publishing such stories on forums. I spoke to an interesting psychologist at a party (she was researching people who make "poo posts" on forums and in letters to neighbours - yes, really!) and they have deep-seated issues.

Eh ? OPs post is funny .. nothing more . Doesn't require psychoanalysis...

PrincessOlga · 23/08/2024 18:23

Please don't mock the OP. Some people get off on publishing such stories on forums. I spoke to an interesting psychologist at a party (she was researching people who make "poo posts" on forums and in letters to neighbours - yes, really!) and they have deep-seated issues.

GingerScallop · 23/08/2024 18:23

Doseofreality · 23/08/2024 15:59

How big is this rabbit thruster, will it need its own seat on the plane? Am assuming it will be going with you seeing how you are so attached 😂

@Alaskabound Blame Canada! Blame Canada! Blame Canadaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

Choochoo21 · 23/08/2024 18:22

I can’t believe she would handle someone’s obviously very recently used toy 🤢🤢

I don’t know why she didn’t just leave it where it was.

My cleaner seeing is would have be embarrassed but my cleaner handling it would have me mortified!!

Definitely book a one way ticket to Alaska OP!

shellyleppard · 23/08/2024 18:21

@Alaskabound i know its difficult sometimes. You just long for peace and quiet......

Orphlids · 23/08/2024 18:21

My mother once found a collection of my toys, and actually put them into a DESK TIDY - remember the ones with several round compartments of differing heights? I don’t know why she did it. We’ve never spoken of it.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 23/08/2024 18:20

Don’t emigrate, just style it out.

When tidying and helping to revamp my bedroom with SIL one day I cane across or she did, my vibrator - she’s my DB’s wife. Honestly though I styled it out. Loads of people either use or don’t use them. If I’ve got a sex life then good on me.

A flatmate I shared with years ago I recall texting her to ask where she’d put some Clinique toner she’d borrowed. It was in a drawer with a bullet vibrator that shed obvs forgotten about but I’m hardly likely to shout “ooh flatmate, guess wharf I found?!”. I did have a best friend who’d tell me in detail about eg Thai love beads. Thanks but I really didn’t need to hear about that! And especially as I knew her boyfriend very well too - we all socialised together.

LBFseBrom · 23/08/2024 18:20

Alaskabound · 23/08/2024 15:58

There’s a train to London leaving in an hour.

I could still be found in Anchorage. There must be an Inuit settlement somewhere I could camp on the edge of for three or four decades.

Just come down to London, there are many places where you can be anonymous and hide from the paparazzi.

PeloMom · 23/08/2024 18:17

I’m sure it’s not her first time. Cleaning peoples homes means she sees a lot! Chill!

Barney16 · 23/08/2024 18:15

My dad, yes DAD, decided to tidy my wardrobe and when I got home, said oh, I tidied up some dog toys I found in one of the draws in your wardrobe. Bless, he has led an extremely sheltered life.

NoNameisGoodEnough · 23/08/2024 18:14

menopausalmare · 23/08/2024 16:32

Can you do a Julia from Motherland and say it's a scooter handle?

That's the first thing I thought of!

Magnolia1234 · 23/08/2024 18:13

Looking for a pet rabbit for young DC. Innocently typed ‘rabbit’ for sale. I had to slam the laptop shut before I could scroll down far enough to reach the baby bunnies…

HorseSnorts · 23/08/2024 18:10

63isMe · 23/08/2024 15:59

Best thread ever 😂😂😂😂

??

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 23/08/2024 18:09

My husband (then boyfriends) mate found my vibrator once. He was not discreet about it. We had to laugh it off 🤪

Alaskabound · 23/08/2024 18:08

LoneHydrangea · 23/08/2024 18:04

God, who cares? Don’t most adult women have vibrators? It should not be a source of shame.

i’m not ashamed. In fact, when I set up camp in the wilderness 1,000 miles from another living soul I might even whisper it out loud.

OP posts: