Friend is obsessed with having ADHD

Having ADHD and being a selfish swine - these are not mutually exclusive, though.

I think what they mean is that if it becomes the case that the majority of people are divergent from the so called norm, then they’re not the unusual/divergent group anymore: they are the norm.

That’s of course if your definition of normal is “what most people are”. There are other things in play, like power, visibility, etc.

The endless memes are basic nonsense - I’m not ND and can identify with almost everything that is supposedly ASD or ADHD! It’s good that we have a language to talk about these things but it does also result in some seeking identities based on them. People are all different. Always have been. No news there!

If everybody has eczema, it's not eczema any more.

Did you notice the irony of you saying you haven't noticed her hyperfocusing, then in the next sentence saying she's obsessing over this 😂
Shell probably reduce it over time, I'd imagine it's a huge thing to finally understand why she's struggling with things.

The problem with ADHD is that between inattentive, hyperactive and mixed EVERYONE on earth has some ADHD traits.

There is a reason why you will see on basically every other MH, LD and ND write up that they symptoms are also common symptoms of ADHD.

It has become a lazy label stuck onto everything like how someone who is a little irritated by 1 tile randomly being a different colour will elicit comments of 'oh, your so OCD' when thats absoloutly not OCD its just normal pattern recognition.

I have several other disabilities but constantly get told I'm 'so ADHD and have you been checked' (yes, all my life) and I'm NOT ADHD. Its about the only damn thing I don't have ironically but theres no arguing with people. People will say 'ADHD suffers have time blindness and are always late' and I'll point out that I'm virtually never late anyway then they will flip it and say 'ADHD suffers are anxious so always arrive early'. So not matter what they claim its a symptom even if symptoms are opposite to what they just claimed just to make it fit the narrative.

Some people may have ADHD, but if you are simply looking for symptoms in yourself and everyone around you (like your friend is) you will obviously find them because it overlaps with so much other medical stuff as well as genuinely just normal random forgetfulness and quirks people can have too.

Everyone can forget they made a cup of tea and let it go cold, everyone bumps into furniture or doorways at some point, everyone has to be either early or late (you can't be perfectly on time always), everyone daydreams sometimes, everyone procrastinates on some jobs etc... unless these things are effecting actual daily function its not medical its just normal. Even if it is having a abnormal effect on your life there a good chance it could be one of the other hundreds of conditions that cause the same or similar symptoms too not just the popular and obvious one.

It’s reasonable to be annoyed and tired of being bombarded by the same topic. I was referring to the posts slagging off their friends. It’s that old saying, who needs enemies with friends like these.

I don't think posters think you're ableist. Some of the responses are though.

Getting irritated with someone is not discrimination.

Yanbu only because I have a friend like this. Tells me so much adhd stuff it’s non stop.

People are seen in the order in which they were referred.

No they certainly are not! If there is significant evidence of need, they will be given an urgent referral. Everyone who is classed as 'routine' will then be seen in order of referral, unless their status changes and, with supporting evidence, they are reclassified as urgent.

You say you haven't noticed her hyperfocusing but it sounds very much like she is hyperfocusing on having adhd to me!

I did this for a while before I was diagnosed. I didn't bombard my friends with reels but I did watch them endlessly, for hours at a time. It's not pleasant. Your brain just will not disengage with the subject. It really can interfere with daily life and is not a funny little quirk or flavour of the week. It's an absolute pain in the arse.

Whats that got to do with explaining that I masked whilst having ADHD because OP thinks it would be obvious that someone has ADHD. Making a point to the OP that just because people appear like they don't have ADHD doesn't mean they don't. I wasn't talking about whether all people mask or not.

She isn't discriminating against her friend. She's not treating her friend differently from her other friends, or excluding her in any way.

Someone having a disability doesn't mean people aren't allowed to be bored/annoyed by their behaviour. I have a neurodivergent condition. Sometimes, that manifests itself in ways which are a bit frustrating for other people. They're not discriminating against me by finding it annoying. Me being (for example) massively disorganised with a task doesn't somehow have less impact on them because I happen to be neurodivergent; it has the same impact on them as it would if a neurotypical person fucked up a task in the same way.

Hyper focusing. Something which people with ADHD csn do.

I think everyone who gets late diagnosis does this. Speaking as someone who was late diagnosed as autistic! It’ll wear off soon.

She’s trying to figure herself out- I know a lot of people might not understand it but when you’ve wondered and worried about how you are for a long time and then you see people who you can totally identify with it becomes like an obsession because you’ve always felt so different. I don’t know what you can do except be there (or not), but I totally get it. It’s like anything- something happens to you and you can’t stop talking about it (a sickness, break up, having a baby), and it’s only afterwards you see you were ott

I didn't get diagnosed with my own condition until I was in my late 30s, but I still don't bore my friends to shit with it and I certainly don't define myself by it.

In the last 2 years I've been diagnosed with ADHD and autism

I think it will eventually be that people like me are the "normal" ones and people who dont have an ND are the "not normal" ones

I think theres actually been a lot more ND people throughout the years but we have all been pretending to be like the NT people 😅

Because everyone who thinks they have ADHD gets a referral, adding to the waiting list. People are seen in the order in which they were referred. Someone who is severely impaired and adversely affected by their ADHD is waiting years for assessment, behind someone who is functioning well, happy, successful, contented, and only asked for an assessment because they watched a few TikToks.

YANBU. I have a friend (A) who sought private diagnoses for ADHD and autism a while back, and she constantly shares things about both conditions. It's become her entire identity and also her excuse for anything she doesn't want to do, any mistake she makes, any argument she has, anything anyone might criticise her for, etc. She has changed her social media bio to the names and dates of her diagnoses.

I am pleased she's got her diagnoses, which I'm sure are very validating for her - I have a (different) neurodivergent condition myself, and I know that getting it confirmed can be a relief in the sense that it answers a lot of questions and can also help you to find ways of explaining/managing any issues it might cause. However, I personally don't think she's handling it in a particularly healthy way and rather than using her diagnosis for support and finding coping mechanisms or learning more about herself, she's essentially just wearing it like a badge and using it as a general catch-all reason for everything she does that has a negative impact on others. I don't think it's especially healthy for her, or for her personal and workplace relationships, and I do worry about her because of that.

I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and I'm honestly too embarrassed to say anything to anyone about it (except my partner) because people will just think I saw a tiktok video. It sounds like your friend is obsessed with it, I know I was in the lead up to diagnosis but I didn't really talk about it because I was so paranoid of judgement.

I think your friend has maybe misjudged your relationship a bit. However if you do want to save the friendship you just need to be honest and say you support her getting a diagnosis but that you can't be her sounding board for it all the time. Friendships are give and take and she needs to understand that at this point she has maybe taken too much from you.

Are you saying it’s OK to talk about nothing else?

Are you aware that very few of us are our real selves at work? “Masking” is something we all do to an extent. All of us have strange foibles and unconventional ways of doing things, that we keep secret from others.

A classic case of adhd hyper focus? 🤣