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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to promote a harmless but wrong belief?

67 replies

MostRidiculousDilemmaOfModernParenting · 23/08/2024 00:01

Dd8 got a new fairy house toy. In the building instructions it said that after constructing the house if the key to the door disappears it means a fairy (presumably invisible) has moved in. So before going to bed dd told me about this quite a few times and about how curious she is whether the key will be gone by tomorrow morning. I thought it was in the hope that I'll get the hint and get rid of the key but then she said explicitly that she doesn't want ME to remove the key. So now I'm totally lost about what to do. Does she want to believe in fairies? Does she want to test whether fairies really exist?

As far as I know she does not believe in fairies. We still do the whole tooth fairy thing but I'm pretty sure she knows the tooth fairy isn't real. Same with santa.

I think she will be disappointed if I do nothing ie don't take the key but I also feel it's unfair to sabotage her experiment if that is what she wants to do.

YANBU: Just take the key and then lie about it. It's a bit of harmless fun and it's not worth disappointing her.

YABU: well, don't take it because it's a lie and it's wrong. She might not trust you again and you don't know what the implications are if she actually starts believing in fairies.

YABVVVU: stop overthinking this. Just go to bed and stop wasting people's time.
.

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maddening · 23/08/2024 00:40

If you are going away then once she is in the car pop back and take the key. When you get home there will be no question that you didn't take it as you weren't there

MostRidiculousDilemmaOfModernParenting · 23/08/2024 00:32

rainbowlou · 23/08/2024 00:29

I’m a sucker for things like this, I’d take the key, write a letter with a sparkly pen and occasionally leave some fairy dust on the floor 😀

This is actually what I wanted to do when I bought the stupid thing but then I started over thinking the whole thing...

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rainbowlou · 23/08/2024 00:29

I’m a sucker for things like this, I’d take the key, write a letter with a sparkly pen and occasionally leave some fairy dust on the floor 😀

MostRidiculousDilemmaOfModernParenting · 23/08/2024 00:29

I took the key. When she asks me tomorrow whether I did I'll ask her if she really wants to know and if she says yes, I'll tell her the truth. And if she really wants to I'll just give the key back to her and she can do her experiment tomorrow.

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MostRidiculousDilemmaOfModernParenting · 23/08/2024 00:18

Oh great. It's pouring down. The whole thing is looking suddenly a lot more unreasonable to me...

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MostRidiculousDilemmaOfModernParenting · 23/08/2024 00:15

sunseaandsoundingoff · 23/08/2024 00:14

don't take the key, if she seems sad then tell her it takes fairies longer to save up house deposits these days because liz truss fucked everyone over.

😂

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sunseaandsoundingoff · 23/08/2024 00:14

don't take the key, if she seems sad then tell her it takes fairies longer to save up house deposits these days because liz truss fucked everyone over.

MostRidiculousDilemmaOfModernParenting · 23/08/2024 00:13

Also, we are going away tomorrow on holiday so I don't really want to leave it for a few days.

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MostRidiculousDilemmaOfModernParenting · 23/08/2024 00:12

MonsteraMama · 23/08/2024 00:07

Take the key. My daughter laid unicorn traps in our garden when she was little and the absolute joy she used to get from finding hoofprints and strands of unicorn hair and the occasional magic gift from the unicorns (me, dicking about in the garden at 1am with an old horseshoe, some glitter, and some sparkly embroidery floss) was lovely.

She's 16 now and has not been scarred by the realisation that the unicorn was me all along! Make believe is one of the joys of childhood. Give her that little glimmer of magic.

Oh, that's adorable. How old was your dd when she laid the traps?

I think, if she was younger it wouldn't be such a difficult decision but at 8 I feel I need

to respect her wishes though I'm not sure if thst is actually what she wants. I think she wants the key to disappear but she doesn't want me to take it. Or maybe she just doesn't want to know that I have taken it.

She did whisper to me last Christmas to not forget to eat the mince pies and carrots she left out for santa so I thought initially that she was hinting I should take the key..

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MonsteraMama · 23/08/2024 00:07

Take the key. My daughter laid unicorn traps in our garden when she was little and the absolute joy she used to get from finding hoofprints and strands of unicorn hair and the occasional magic gift from the unicorns (me, dicking about in the garden at 1am with an old horseshoe, some glitter, and some sparkly embroidery floss) was lovely.

She's 16 now and has not been scarred by the realisation that the unicorn was me all along! Make believe is one of the joys of childhood. Give her that little glimmer of magic.

Butwhybecause · 23/08/2024 00:06

Take it in a couple of days, then act surprised.
It's a white lie, not a real lie.

Or a fairy lie.

Whocanbelieveit · 23/08/2024 00:06

Honestly my DD at 8 would have told me about the key thing and then taken it and hidden it herself and told me that fairies were real 😂

MiddleClassProblem · 23/08/2024 00:06

I would leave it tonight but do it another night. I’m not sure why I think that would be more believable 😂

I don’t know why put ourselves through all these things and I’m quite glad I’m out the other side of all this!

BabaYetu · 23/08/2024 00:06

We tackled this by “deciding we believe in fairies this week.” It seemed to work well.

If she’s asked you not to take the key, don’t take it.

GreatMistakes · 23/08/2024 00:05

I'd leave it and read the room tomorrow about how upset she is and then take it tomorrow or the next night and act surprised.

NoSquirrels · 23/08/2024 00:04

Take the key. Move it somewhere not close but obvious. Say nothing, deny everything.

MostRidiculousDilemmaOfModernParenting · 23/08/2024 00:02

Or I could take the key but then admit to it if she asks whether I did?

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