Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Arse!

67 replies

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:30

So, invited my friend and his children to my parents house abroad, meaning they only had to pay for flights. According to my friend, his kids were buzzing for this holiday of 14 nights. I've fed them, done all the cleaning, taken them on days out when all they did was moan, asking when we were going back, then slothing around on beds on phones. They then accused us of not doing anything with them, but when we do, we get the attitude and disengagement. Ps I have two teenagers of a similar age who are very grateful. My friend asks his kids what they want for lunch every time, even if it's separate. I made the mistake of making everyone sandwiches without asking, and instead of a thank you, I got "wow I didn't know I wanted a sandwich", then get called an asshole. AIBU to expect a bit more respect. My friend has now booked flights 4 days early than planned to get his kids home. Just feel a bit used 😓😓 I'm glad they're going early as they're dragging everyone down, but now lost transport as he was driving and we are remote. Would you be angry? 😓

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:10

SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 22:04

Please try and contain your disgust at your friend's skin condition. You are missing the point - the question was why wasn't he pulling his weight, regardless of the specific breakdown of tasks. No one reading your posts will be able to psychically guess that you have a reason for doing all the cooking.

Also, your posts don't need to end with an "x" every time...

Just to add, he leaves a trail.of skin all over my house, so yes, it's an issue when he doesn't help himself. I don't need you judging me when I deal with this all the time. Thanks.

OP posts:
DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 22/08/2024 22:10

Eating skin? As a psoriasis suffer I find your response disgusting. Do you know what psoriasis is?

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:08

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:08

I've told him I've found them ungrateful. When it was addressed, that they wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me, we got a scoff and an abusive comment 😓

From the same child ,😓

OP posts:
offyoujollywelltrot · 22/08/2024 22:08

I imagine teens are the reason mothers in the animal kingdom sometimes eat their young.

They sound like horrible brats. He needs to grow a spine and parent them properly.

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:08

GedEye · 22/08/2024 22:02

Even if the DC have gone through a tough time, the lesson here is be rude and get your own way.

No.

have a conversation… ‘you (DC) are all important to me and so is my friend. They have invited us and you will behave appropriately. I’d like to understand why you said X’

Parenting is sometimes having the difficult conversation.

I've told him I've found them ungrateful. When it was addressed, that they wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me, we got a scoff and an abusive comment 😓

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:06

blubberball · 22/08/2024 22:01

Well, they won't be being invited again

We've both said that!

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:05

SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 22:04

Please try and contain your disgust at your friend's skin condition. You are missing the point - the question was why wasn't he pulling his weight, regardless of the specific breakdown of tasks. No one reading your posts will be able to psychically guess that you have a reason for doing all the cooking.

Also, your posts don't need to end with an "x" every time...

Thanks for the advice

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 22:04

Please try and contain your disgust at your friend's skin condition. You are missing the point - the question was why wasn't he pulling his weight, regardless of the specific breakdown of tasks. No one reading your posts will be able to psychically guess that you have a reason for doing all the cooking.

Also, your posts don't need to end with an "x" every time...

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:04

ThatTealViewer · 22/08/2024 21:35

This. What on Earth?!

It's just disgusting x

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:02

CheeseDreamsTonight · 22/08/2024 21:56

Oh I do feel for your friend here as it sounds as if he is out of his depth and has just tried to end the awfulness quickly. I bet he is mortified.

He's apologised so much but treats them like nothings happened. It's cost him a. Extra £300 🙈

OP posts:
GedEye · 22/08/2024 22:02

Even if the DC have gone through a tough time, the lesson here is be rude and get your own way.

No.

have a conversation… ‘you (DC) are all important to me and so is my friend. They have invited us and you will behave appropriately. I’d like to understand why you said X’

Parenting is sometimes having the difficult conversation.

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:01

HauntedbyMagpies · 22/08/2024 21:53

Wowwwww could your 'friend' be any worse of a parent? Bloody hell. How to raise entitled kids Lesson 1

I have a special needs child and he's not as difficult as they are 🙈

OP posts:
blubberball · 22/08/2024 22:01

Well, they won't be being invited again

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:00

CharlotteRumpling · 22/08/2024 21:34

I don't understand how you are cleaning and cooking for rude DC who are not your own or even your step children!

I've insisted as he has really bad psoriasis and I see pics of food with skin on the plate 🤢

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:57

LadyGAgain · 22/08/2024 21:33

YANBU
he needs to parent his children. Step up and say NO.
They're off home early? Another example of his shit parenting.
So sorry you've had to find out this way.

Thank you x

OP posts:
CheeseDreamsTonight · 22/08/2024 21:56

Oh I do feel for your friend here as it sounds as if he is out of his depth and has just tried to end the awfulness quickly. I bet he is mortified.

HauntedbyMagpies · 22/08/2024 21:53

Wowwwww could your 'friend' be any worse of a parent? Bloody hell. How to raise entitled kids Lesson 1

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:53

Haroldwilson · 22/08/2024 21:50

Not acceptable, obviously.

But I'd bet there's a story behind this - a bad break up, maybe him introducing girlfriends to them then they break up. They probably think you're lined up as a partner and the dad wants them to play happy families but they're still conflicted about the past.

Kids want their parents to spend time with them. They can be rude and sulky if they feel rejected or angry like this.

Doesn't make it ok but I'll bet something like that is behind it. They felt forced into a situation that felt wrong to them.

I said this to him. When his kids go to them, they have his full attention x

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:51

Aquamarine1029 · 22/08/2024 21:46

WTAF have I read? I would have kicked him, his sibling, and their useless father right out the fucking door. And I mean it.

I certainly hope this "friendship" is over.

It's difficult as he's so lovely, which has led his kids to be assholes. He's left me some euros and got food for us as we have no car from tomorrow. He needs to be harder on them but he's struggling how to make up for the fact that he's a single father. He's feels guilty x

OP posts:
InTheTrenches88 · 22/08/2024 21:51

Wow. If your friend is lovely and is embarrassed, and also going home early, maybe this is out of character and something else is going on. I'm glad at least the dad can see the behaviour and call it out. I think if an 18 year old decides to be horrible and has zero shame or respect for his dad, there isn't much you can do at this point. How disappointing for you (and his dad).

Haroldwilson · 22/08/2024 21:50

Not acceptable, obviously.

But I'd bet there's a story behind this - a bad break up, maybe him introducing girlfriends to them then they break up. They probably think you're lined up as a partner and the dad wants them to play happy families but they're still conflicted about the past.

Kids want their parents to spend time with them. They can be rude and sulky if they feel rejected or angry like this.

Doesn't make it ok but I'll bet something like that is behind it. They felt forced into a situation that felt wrong to them.

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:49

DustyLee123 · 22/08/2024 21:32

Has he offered any money for their food etc?

Yes. It's not him, it's his ungrateful brats x

OP posts:
GedEye · 22/08/2024 21:48

Aquamarine1029 · 22/08/2024 21:46

WTAF have I read? I would have kicked him, his sibling, and their useless father right out the fucking door. And I mean it.

I certainly hope this "friendship" is over.

This.

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:47

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 22/08/2024 21:35

We offered to take ds's mate to Portugal years ago. Free trip. Cost his dps a passport.. The most amazing private beach... He declared it just a beach. Ungrateful shit... He and ds got sent home after the first week.

Good x

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:47

SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 21:36

Why isn't your friend doing his share of cooking and cleaning, and why isn't he dealing with the poor behaviour from his teens? Has he apologised to you?

He has a severe case of Psoriasis and I didn't fancy eating skin 🤢

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread