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Original poster

Husband going to be difficult at family wedding if adult son of 30 drinks!

62 replies

Sligomum · 22/08/2024 20:50

My son of 30 (family man with 2 kids) is invited to a family wedding and my husband (his dad is objecting to him drinking) as it’s going to embarrass him) I know it’s going to cause a scene , as my husband did the same when he was a teenager and and had a few at his cousins wedding ( he was actually just merry and happy) , I’m now dreading the wedding ! Is he being unreasonable?

OP posts:
VictoriaEra2 · 22/08/2024 22:12

theduchessofspork · 22/08/2024 21:09

I would just ignore them both .

Exactly right.

Crumpledfrock · 22/08/2024 21:41

Speak to your son, he was hopefully joking.

Original poster
Sligomum · 22/08/2024 21:41

Apparently, just been informed by my younger son that the bride and groom intend to have a bunch for alcohol at the wedding (on the low, apparently), so I’m not to worry…

OP posts:
JLou08 · 22/08/2024 21:40

Sligomum · 22/08/2024 21:02

I must explain.. that my husband has always been worried about what family think, and when my son was 15 he drank a little at nephews wedding ( husband lost the plot). English wedding.
This wedding is an Asian wedding and apparently he asked the bride (whose his cousin and usually drinks) if alcohol would be served, and she said no..so Adam (my son) said I’ll have source some myself! (Probably a joke) my husband found out about this conversation and is already threatening hell if he does drink)
im just worrying about this already

It being an Asian wedding where alcohol won't be served changes things a lot from your OP. There may be people there with strong religious views around alcohol, I'd be embarrassed if a member of my family turned up with alcohol too. It would be very disrespectful.

FlannelShirt · 22/08/2024 21:40

GettingStuffed · 22/08/2024 21:28

My husband's family have a Methodist branch and their weddings were dry. It wasn't unusual for the older men to go outside to smoke, and drink from hip flasks.

If this is your son's plan then you don't get much ina hip flask.

It is a tad disrespectful but not really worth arguing over.

If he can’t go one evening without a drink it’s a pretty big problem.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 22/08/2024 21:32

If it's an alcohol free wedding, then your ds should either not drink or stay away. It's rude to just take your own.

Goldbar · 22/08/2024 21:30

If your son can't go an evening without drinking, then he needs to decline the invitation.

Scirocco · 22/08/2024 21:29

Sligomum · 22/08/2024 21:02

I must explain.. that my husband has always been worried about what family think, and when my son was 15 he drank a little at nephews wedding ( husband lost the plot). English wedding.
This wedding is an Asian wedding and apparently he asked the bride (whose his cousin and usually drinks) if alcohol would be served, and she said no..so Adam (my son) said I’ll have source some myself! (Probably a joke) my husband found out about this conversation and is already threatening hell if he does drink)
im just worrying about this already

If your son is serious, that's really disrespectful to source and drink alcohol at a wedding where the bride has explicitly said no alcohol.

Bit of a drip-feed there, as the issue isn't so much a grown man drinking alcohol as a grown man potentially being really inappropriate by bringing alcohol to an alcohol-free wedding.

Rewis · 22/08/2024 21:29

Seems like this could he sorted witja conversation. Talk to your son and make sure it was a joke.and he ia not bringing alcohol.

ChemicalA03959X · 22/08/2024 21:29

@Sligomum so its a bit like what will the friends think etc kinda situation ?

GettingStuffed · 22/08/2024 21:28

My husband's family have a Methodist branch and their weddings were dry. It wasn't unusual for the older men to go outside to smoke, and drink from hip flasks.

If this is your son's plan then you don't get much ina hip flask.

It is a tad disrespectful but not really worth arguing over.

Sugargliderwombat · 22/08/2024 21:22

If he was joking it's a non issue. If he wasn't joking I think it IS embarrassing for him to be drinking at a dry wedding.

Soccergearmissingagain · 22/08/2024 21:19

Can you talk to your son and see if he was joking or not? If it was just a bad joke then there's not much to worry about regarding the wedding.

TheNameIsDickDarlington · 22/08/2024 21:19

Well if it's a dry wedding then it's very rude and disrespectful to the couple to sneak in alcohol and I would be very annoyed at the suggestion even in jest as it is undermining the cultural aspect.

loropianalover · 22/08/2024 21:19

Charlize43 · 22/08/2024 21:18

30 drinks is a tad excessive even at a wedding... normally I'd manage around half that amount before it got embarrassing...

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Charlize43 · 22/08/2024 21:18

30 drinks is a tad excessive even at a wedding... normally I'd manage around half that amount before it got embarrassing...

NoSquirrels · 22/08/2024 21:17

Rude (and desperate, tbh) to drink at a dry function. If no alcohol is on offer, then no alcohol should be drunk.

So your son is wrong to ‘joke’ about doing so. And should expect his dad to disapprove if he does drink on the day. He’s not much of a ‘family man’ if he can’t respect the wider extended family’s wishes.

edwinbear · 22/08/2024 21:13

If it’s a dry wedding and your son is actually planning on sneaking booze in, I can see why he’d be annoyed. If your son was genuinely making a joke and your husband has got the wrong end of the stick, then your husband just needs that explaining to him.

5128gap · 22/08/2024 21:13

That's an important update OP. Your son has been invited to be the guest of people who do not want alcohol at their wedding. Your son has two options, respect his hosts or decline their invitation. Your H is not being U as if your son does 'sneak' a drink like a naughty teen, then this is an embarrassing and rude way to behave at 30 and I'd be embarrassed by my son if he did that.

otravezempezamos · 22/08/2024 21:11

Leave them to it OP. Enjoy it with the other family members.

If your son was getting blind drunk, throwing up in bushes and spoiling it for everyone else then he would have a point. But being a bit merry is what weddings are for (they are so awful otherwise you have to be a bit drunk to get through)

theduchessofspork · 22/08/2024 21:09

I would just ignore them both .

Hectorscalling · 22/08/2024 21:06

Sligomum · 22/08/2024 21:02

I must explain.. that my husband has always been worried about what family think, and when my son was 15 he drank a little at nephews wedding ( husband lost the plot). English wedding.
This wedding is an Asian wedding and apparently he asked the bride (whose his cousin and usually drinks) if alcohol would be served, and she said no..so Adam (my son) said I’ll have source some myself! (Probably a joke) my husband found out about this conversation and is already threatening hell if he does drink)
im just worrying about this already

So that’s a different situation.

This wedding is alcohol free for cultural reasons and your son said he would sneak alcohol in. And your husband has objects to him sneaking alcohol in.

I don’t see the issue. Your husband is right. I am also going to assume your son has more than one incident of drinking inappropriately, maybe even drugs?

Your assumption that it’s a joke is odd. It would be so disrespectful for your son to sneak in alcohol. It’s not a funny joke. And honestly, I would be worried if my adult child felt they had to sneak alcohol in anywhere.

loropianalover · 22/08/2024 21:06

Sligomum · 22/08/2024 21:02

I must explain.. that my husband has always been worried about what family think, and when my son was 15 he drank a little at nephews wedding ( husband lost the plot). English wedding.
This wedding is an Asian wedding and apparently he asked the bride (whose his cousin and usually drinks) if alcohol would be served, and she said no..so Adam (my son) said I’ll have source some myself! (Probably a joke) my husband found out about this conversation and is already threatening hell if he does drink)
im just worrying about this already

OP there is no alcohol being served at this wedding, so what’s the issue?

Unless you think your son isn’t joking about sourcing it himself? Then he might have a problem..

Original poster
Sligomum · 22/08/2024 21:02

I must explain.. that my husband has always been worried about what family think, and when my son was 15 he drank a little at nephews wedding ( husband lost the plot). English wedding.
This wedding is an Asian wedding and apparently he asked the bride (whose his cousin and usually drinks) if alcohol would be served, and she said no..so Adam (my son) said I’ll have source some myself! (Probably a joke) my husband found out about this conversation and is already threatening hell if he does drink)
im just worrying about this already

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 22/08/2024 21:01

Get pissed yourself 🤷‍♀️

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