Husband going to be difficult at family wedding if adult son of 30 drinks!

You can't dictate sobriety if alcohol is on offer

Your husband's attitude sounded ridiculous until you explained. If your son is unable to attend a culturally non-alcoholic wedding, he shouldn't come at all. If he is intending to bring alcohol in surrepticiously then your husband is quite right and I hope you will agree. Don't let him let your family down.

You can’t have a ‘bunch of alcohol’ it’s a liquid

Can you speak to your son and remind him that we have to be respectful at a dry wedding and not "appear" to be drunk even if there is some sneaky drink available.

That it's you that's asking him although you know your husband will also be worried about foolish drunken behaviour.

In the meantime speak to your husband and remind him that it's common practice for the younger ones to have a couple of drinks but nothing intoxicating and not to get upset if any of the adult children partake. That if anyone gets drunk the best thing to do is NOT make a scene as that just draws even more attention.

@WhereDoWeGoFromHereBill that's really bloody rude.

Has it occurred to you that English might not be OP's first language?

If the Bride and groom are providing a stash, why would your son want to sneak some in.

If the Bride and Groom are doing that, they last thing they want is someone else sneaking it in risking someone being drunk. They are bringing it in and they will be able to control it so it’s not obvious to family members they are trying to respect.

I am going to guess there’s a long history of your son’s poor behaviour and it’s put your husband on edge. And perhaps history of you down playing the problems your son is causing.

Many a times, the groom's or bride's friends and cousins will organise an alcohol stash somewhere to have fun later or have drinks slyly. If alcohol is to be available, it won't be your son's responsibility to source it. And if it is indeed a dry wedding, then he really shouldn't be bringing any.
In either case, your husband is creating unnecessary tension.

I think OP means there will be alcohol available but not visibly? Is that right OP?

It does seem like a ridiculous overreaction from your DH.

@IvysMum12 I’d imagine it means the couple (who usually drink) are trying to respect cultural norms for the comfort of older relatives (who may well be paying for the wedding) plus having a little stash of booze somewhere that only a select few who they know will want to drink will be aware of.

What is a bunch on the low?

Tell your husband that what embarrasses you is him telling a 30yo off for having a drink, and he can find himself somewhere to sleep and get himself there if he does that, he won’t be coming home with you.

Putting what you put in your 2nd post into the opening post might have helped people understand what you are talking about.

But it still isn't clear to me what the issue is or what this has to do with your husband, or, indeed, what your AIBU is.

Do you have some nice SILs / parents / friends you can sit with, and leave them to get on with it?

Your son is 30 ffs!

I'm sure he was joking about sourcing his own booze, but I'm afraid he doesn't need your permission anymore. Why the hell is he being judged for something he did in his teens? If he does decided to make a twat of himself at the wedding, let him get on with it!

What a fuss about nothing.

I don’t know what having a bunch on the low is mind, that might be more serious.

Your husband is a twat.

Secret booze at an Asian wedding isn't unusual - keep up appearances for the judging aunties, until some cousin offers you Johnnie Walker 😁 Best not to get very drunk though - being a bit jolly is easier to explain away!

Your son shouldn't bring any himself, though.

What does that even mean?

Your husband sounds like a controlling bully.

A 30 year old man does not have to do what his Dad says. If he has any sense, he'll ignore these ridiculous requests and do exactly what he wants to and if your DH kicks off about it then he's the one who's going to look like a twat.

Not sure what you mean?

I think your husband is right. Sneaking alcohol into a dry wedding is disrespectful. You need to have a conversation with your son to see if he's joking or not. Unfortunately, as he's a 30 year old man, there's not much you can do about him drinking if he chooses to. You can let him know you're not happy about it though.

Easier said than done tbf when she's looking at an evening likely to end in ructions between her husband and son, both no doubt wanting her in their corner. Not to mention the wider family judgement of her son if he is embarrassing. Most people would struggle to relax and enjoy an evening with that as the back drop.

This changes things. If it’s an alcohol free wedding your son is totally out of order.

Op, you really need to step back and relax. You're talking about a 30 year old man here. What he does or doesn't do is not your responsibility.