If you never used to enjoy sex, how did you start enjoying it?

Split up with my ex and got a new partner who was much more giving!

Sex better for me after kids too - both C-section. I put it down to motherhood giving me more confidence and fewer inhibitions! But maybe it's hormonal?

most women only orgasm from clitoral stimulation. so either you or him try that during

@Helpabojttown “no kids yet, good to know it can improve after that!”

Unfortunately there tends to be less opportunity for quite a while after!! And as a PP pointed out, if you have a c-section it doesn’t apply.

You never enjoyed sex because you had shit male partners. I recommend mindful masturbation and clit vibrator, plus, expanding your sexual horizons to consider sex with women

Thought it was me / my fault.
Husband left.
Discovered I like sex. Really like it. Just not with him

I had a c section and piv noticeably better for me too- no idea why, I assumed hormonal.

Oh yeah and hormonal contraception kills my libido too. Highly inconvenient.

Had a partner who was interested in my pleasure and not just his own.

Was a bit mind blowing honestly

Also the book Come as you Are is really good. I found this very helpful. I do still have a low sex drive.

I'm the other way around. I've always enjoyed sex. Always been able to climax through piv. But not now. My current partner is rubbish in bed and he can't get me there.
Not sure what to do about it though.

Sorry if this is tmi but if I were you I'd try doing this for a while until you're almost "there" and then stop, flip around and try having penetrative sex to see if that works for you. This is basically how I orgasm from sex, although for me it doesn't have to be a 69 first but just general oral/foreplay.

Oh that's interesting I'll definitely be trying that! thank you

I saw this today and thought it's useful. Most women don't come from PIV sex.

www.instagram.com/reel/C-8lKbwJeGn/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

All of this

Yes I imagine it must be. Sorry I should have said that.

Previously it was bad sexual partners for me. Porn has meant soooooo many men are rubbish at Sex and communicating.

For me I like a bullet vibrator on my clitorus whilst my partner is inside piv or fingers. Usually from behind but other positions too. Helps that he learns my rhythm and signs. Is you partner in sync with you in those ways? Can you comfortably tell them in the moment left right slow fast stop etc ?

I'd be interested in knowing how exactly perhaps technique wise those that love oral are enjoying it. It's never been something I've loved. It's so difficult to know without discussing and comparing notes if it's a me thing or a technique thing.

I gave up on men and switched to women! Not looked back since! I found sex with men to be ok at best, but usually uncomfortable and unsatisfactory. Being with someone who actually understands how a woman's body works and cares as much about pleasing me as experiencing pleasure themselves is a revelation. So many men seem to think women love being pounded away for at, but I find it boring and often quite painful.

Why is this? Is this exclusive to vaginal births?

Pleasing to see so many things I also agree with here.

Being touched clitorally while being penetrated ruins both for me. Everyone is different.

1 - aged 27 when I had a lover who spent longer on the whole sexual experience than my previous lovers - like, longer than 5-10 minutes
2 - aged 35 post vaginal birth - quite a significant change, actual vaginal pleasure as opposed to sensation
3 - aged 38 when dh had a vasectomy and I stopped hormonal contraception for good, found i did have a libido after all
4 - aged 49 when I discovered LUBE, a bullet vibrator, and managed to gave different orgasms
5 - aged 49 when I had sex with enough men I didn't give a shit about and therefore was happy to experiment and tell them what to try without emotional consequences.

Of all that lot, lube is by far the easiest to start with, and the most important. Men who feel upset if a woman doesn't gush fluid directed at the clitoris at the slightest touch (no, I know that's impossible) and media who make wanting to use lube seem somehow inadequate kept me from trying it for years. Don't be like me.

I need a bit of foreplay like most women, but I usually tell my partner when to stop so I can orgasm during sex. If it happens during foreplay I won't enjoy the sex as much.

Well i never liked or enjoyed sex in my 20s in fact i hated it and wanted to be a nun.
For me it was what others would think of me.

But when i hit my 30s something changed i felt more me more confidence.
I didnt care what others thought gave up caring.
I am now a slag when on holidays and love it.

You likely are dating people who are bad in bed.

I see it as connection and intimacy rather than just sex. The emotional aspect of it switched it for me.