Daughter refusing to speak normally

I suspect she's enjoying the fact that it's obviously winding you up so much. Ignore it as much as possible or just say 'I'll answer you when you speak properly'. Above all stay calm and don't show that it's getting to you. It's an annoying phase, that's all.

They all do this it’s a stage. My nephew did it and he now 17 and a perfectly well mannered almost adult. My son did it too. And I had my stock phrase of ‘talk in your normal voice please’ on REPEAT!! He’s now 13 and grown out of it..

Hi, did you never play, pretend to be another person or an animal, put on an act as a child? Did you ever play that really annoying game when you repeat the thing the other person has just said? I clearly remember talking in a made up language for AGES and I was older than 10! I think if my mum had told me I was being “silly” or “ridiculous” then it wouldn’t have stopped me doing it, I might have A. Felt quite disconnected from her, or B. Felt down on myself and think of myself as silly or annoying.

I really sometimes don’t know where our current model of parenting comes from and I feel really quite depressed reading this thread at the lack of understanding that one of the most important thing a kid needs is to feel connected and understood; that a kid who is regularly dismissed and who has their thoughts, feelings and experiences shut down is likely to feel shit about themselves. Sometimes I think we treat kids with less respect than adults

I haven't read though 12 pages yet however it looks like you are getting good advice

YABVU to use the phrase "broken home".
Single parent here and neither my home nor my family are in any way "broken".

To be honest, in this response you sound quite childish OP. Refusing to put yourself in your daughter's shoes and isolating yourself crying and watching a show (huh, hello teenager-lile behaviour!). Of course our kids pick up on our stress and tensions, even when we think we hide it well from them, they can for sure sense even small changes in our behaviours and habits.

No you didn't say "it sounds like" at all. You explicitly said OP's child IS ND. Why tell a blatant lie when your post is there for all to see?

You’ve completely missed my point. It’s the term broken home. I’m a single parent family and my home is far from broken thank you. The OP also implies that it would be understandable if her daughter spoke like that and she was in a single parent family. That just isn’t the case is it.

This kind of annoying shit is where teachers are useful. I bet after a day or two back at school and she pack it in.

This! Best advice! My older child started doing baby behaviours and talk after the birth of my 2nd and I leaned into it. Playing mommy and baby with her, reminiscing of her as a baby, looking at pictures etc. It was actually super sweet to remember that time. It quickly went away. There is always something behind the behaviours. Behaviour is communication, it's often helpful to try and figure out what she is trying to communicate/what need she's trying to meet.
Maybe your daughter is a bit scared of going back to school, specially if there are issues with friends. She might, consciously or not, miss simpler times when she was younger and was your little baby, safe by your side all the time?

Very true.

She's well old enough to know better and stop when you've asked her to stop.

I'd tell her her bedtime will be 5 minutes earlier each and every time you have to remind her to stop, because babies have earlier bedtimes than 8 year old girls. If she's going to talk like a baby, she can go to bed early like a baby.

My 6 year old does this. We just say we don’t understand baby language. She will only get a response if she speaks in a normal voice/words

@Maryahadaballtoday A lot of your stress around this is based on things that might happen in the future, eg how her teacher might respond. It’s not easy to block out those thoughts, but they’re very seldom helpful or even accurate. Try not to catastrophise.

What strikes me is that you’re already dealing with a lot of stress. And even though you’re keeping the facts from her, it’s very likely that she’s observing your unhappiness. Children always think they are responsible and it could be that she has landed on this way of winding you up, that gives her an unconscious sense of control. She’s probably not directly aware of it, and caught up in a self perpetuating loop.

Sometimes as adults we have to restore connection with our dc. It’s actually really important to model how to rebuild and repair relationship, if we want them to learn these skills. Is there something you can do together, maybe watch a movie or some Netflix show, that doesn’t require much talking. Sit together, cuddle, eat some snacks and just be there passively.

Do you want to share a bit more about your situation- what happened with your partner’s job? Is he likely to struggle to get another? How badly impacted are you? It sounds like you need somewhere to safely vent.

I guess the OP has long ago left the room
I agree she sounds at the end of her tether she'd in need of a break
It does seem odd to have seen 3 psychiatrists and that more than ones teacher has commented on whether she is ND.
It also seems odd of the OP to say ," I have it in writing .. that she's.."

Sooooo irritating. But I think you just have to ignore it. Has she been watching a lot of kids’ YouTube? There’s all manner of cheaply made shit on it featuring whiny cartoon babies. (Why, yes, this is the voice of experience…)

@NeverDropYourMooncup

@Maryahadaballtoday you say there's "nothing wrong" with her but you also say she's seen 3 psychiatrists. This is highly unusual at 8 years old. What was the reason for the psychiatrists and how did it come about?

(I say this asthenia parent of a 6 year old who has been assessed by 4 different psychologists!)

Ime they wind parents up because they're a bit of a twat.
Ignoring stupid behaviour isn't withdrawing love its ignoring stupid behaviour and I'm sure op tells dd she loves her and shows a million ways how she's loved but not pandering to her behaviour jsnt going to cause issues

Not the same thing but my toddler has started speaking all babyish again now that her little sister is born. When I asked her why, she told me sheepishly it is because she still wants to be the baby. So it's a way to feel loved and get our attention.
Does your daughter speak like a baby all the time and doesn't speak normally now anymore? Or just sometimes throughout the day?
Is there anything bothering her - you mention her going into Y4 - is she going into a new classroom? Potentially stressed by that?

At the start you say you had tubes tied and didn't want another daughter. Then later you say you wish you could have more children but can't because of long Covid.

I was the queen of getting specialist appointments for my son with ASD but never managed to see 3 psychiatrists by age 8. We saw a paediatrician and a psychologist. I believe psychiatrists tend to have mostly adult clients and the only children I know of who have seen them did so because they had very complex difficulties with their medication.

I think you should show some compassion to your child. My child does this sometimes, and I couldn’t care less. Why does this bother you so much? Maybe reflect on that. She will stop eventually, but it will probably keep going while you make a huge deal out of it. See a GP and ask for their advice, but please don’t make her stop because it’s stressing you out. Get curious about why she’s doing it. If she suddenly started to ask for a nappy or started pooping in a corner - fair game to get upset!

I’m involved in autism assessments and I can tell you that plenty of psychiatrists are.

Dear OP, I have to say that I agree with some posters that you sound too upset for something so trivial. Is it possible that you are overburdened with other things happening in your life, so that this one is just a last straw?

You are also very defensive for someone who came to momsnet to ask for advice. We are not professionals and can only tell you what we think this may be, based on our own experience. Therefore, I suggest, instead of refusing to accept any and all of our suggestions, you actually think about what we are saying. The way I see it there may be multiple things happening but, in my opinion, neither one requires any kind of punishment of your child.

• She may be just experimenting, role playing, nothing serious. You can decide to not react at all or to join in the “game” and see where it takes you. Anything but “punish” like a lot of posters are suggesting. I mean she is not doing anything bad, dangerous or such.
• I know you are saying that you had her checked by multiple psychiatrists but I still think that she may be having some problems she does not know how to express. It is very difficult to get through a child at that age.
• It seems that your family is going through something and chances are that she found out or is simply feeling the tension. Instead of not talking to her, perhaps you can do the opposite. Sit her down and tell her and see how she reacts.

At least she isn’t neurodivergent or from a broken home, the two worst things anyone could possibly be 🙄