Daughter refusing to speak normally

I think this stems from boredom. She's trying to get a rise out of you because you're the main person she interacts with and it puts the attention on her. At her age she needs activities which will physically exhaust her, especially earlier in the day and she needs to be mentally challenged, maybe by giving her more trust and responsibilities. I do lots of this sort of work with kids as part of my job.

can you do a duolingo for her, both learn french or german or something.

Assuming she is not ND then this is classic attention seeking behaviour. She knows it 'grinds your gears' (horrible phrase) and annoys her dad but continues to do it - because any attention, even negative attention, is better than no attention.

As a retired psychotherapist who worked extensively with young people I feel very strongly about attention seeking behaviour. People don't do it for fun or to wind other people up. If people are seeking attention it's because they need it. And as the parents of this girl it's your job to give her what she needs, not withdraw from her because you find her irritating.

This is a vicious circle. The more she tries to get your attention with baby talk the more you pull back from her , so she ups the baby talk to get some (negative) emotional response from you.

Can you find a positive way to react to this without endorsing or enabling the baby talk? Give her hugs and cuddles maybe while responding to her baby talk with more age appropriate language somignore the baby talk but respond in normal speech? Make sure she knows that your love/attention isn't conditional on her talking and behaving in a way you approve of?

Remember, she is only 8. This behaviour didn't come from nowhere, it's telling you something.

EDIT- I've just read your latest update. I'm sorry you are having a hard time atm but that could explain why her baby talk is escalating. She is aware your attention is elsewhere and trying to draw it back to her.

I know you say you have kept the adult issues from her (and well done for that) but 90% of communication is non verbal and on an unconscious level she will be aware that something bad is going on and is craving attention and the reassurance that gives her.

I wouldn't worry about her future or school at this point. If she is able to have a proper conversation with psychiatrists and counsellors (probably because they are giving her 100% of their attention in the moment) she will be able to modify her behaviour in other situations too. She sounds like a smart little girl to me!

She may be picking up that something is going on? Some children resort to baby speech when anxious. It can then be very hard to get out of the habit.

Are you able to take some time off? For your wellbeing, see if you being less stressed helps?

She’s already been seen by a psychologist…

I did this age 10 (year 6). I can't remember doing it to my parents but I was undiagnosed autistic, and feeling under a lot of pressure and existential stress. I think you should be supportive of her as she needs comfort and explore what's going on for her. It sounds annoying.

People here have described two very different kinds of ignoring. There's "pretend (s)he's speaking normally" and there's "refuse to respond to any requests or conversations in baby language"

Given the family circumstances you've described I would do the first kind with your DD. Let her do babytalk and respond as if she's spoken normally. My own DS didn't do babytalk but he had other annoying comms issues that I wont go into now, and that's how DH and I managed them.

Try voluntarily giving her some baby-attention - cuddles, a bit of lovingly babying her yourself - at times that she doesn't initiate with babytalk.

And yes, I'm very sorry she's driving you bersek with it. That's part of why she's doing it! One if the times you described her doing it was when she was angry with you for not helping her with the spilt icecream and for scolding her instead. It's a frustrated-kid thing - she expresses her own inarticulate helpless rage by making you feel the same way! Kids are expert button pushers, try not to let the babytalk push yours.

please no one ever, ever follow this advice ever.

Another one with a sledge-hammer.
Jesus, you want to jump straight into 'professional' help? I suppose you tell the doctor you have a brain tumour before you've tried an aspirin for your headache.
As most have said, it's probably a phase. They've provided handy hints to help. Why the overkill?

it's likely a phase but the fact she's doing it in front of her friends too is a concern. Not to flame you at all but would it be worth exploring your wording behind 'not wanting another daughter'? that's maybe quite telling in some way? Maybe she's speaking like that as a source of comfort, although she's clearly not getting any comfort from it (i don't mean you're doing anything wrong btw) maybe she want's to go back to a nicer time for her, did you treat her differently in terms of how much affection she got when she was a younger? I feel like it's more than just trying to annoy you or get a rise because she's doing it with her friends too. If it was me, I would look at myself and her dad firstly, no blaming here, just that it's easier to change yourself than it is an 8 year old child and I wouldn't be doing a punishment or naughty step as some have suggested because she clearly isn't doing this out of badness so why would you punish her? Surely if it's a coping mechanism for something then punishing will make it worse and she'll just find a bigger more problematic coping mechanism down the line. Something clearly isn't ok, it maybe feels a little bit to me like no one really want's her to be honest. It's just the vibe i get from your posts and please know I am NOT judging you at all OP, not at all. It's not bloody easy. X

Wow, get out that slegde-hammer and smash that walnut!

Your daughter is going through a phase. Kids often do have phases of speaking differently, sometimes different accents, words, etc, in your one's case it is reverting to baby language. However not every word will be in 'baby'. just some.

The more annoyed you are about this, the more she will do it! Chill. This will pass.

Put her on the naughty corner every time she does it

OP kindly, can I ask what the reason is that she has seen 3 psychiatrists? Was this for the baby talking?

I have a habit as an adult speaking in different accents sometimes for a laugh (with my kids/husband - not at work!) I don't know why but I think it sounds funny - I don't think I'm ND and I wouldn't keep it up if it was annoying people. Sometimes humans do weird stuff for no rhyme or reason!

Don't forget, it is a loooong summer... most of us are hanging for the kids to go back!

Hoping it is just a phase and the distraction of going back to school will help to break this habit.

Now questioning if my habit is annoying...😂

@Salumthecat thank you for linking that thread from 2011. There is a lot of helpful advice on it and it reminded me of what Mumsnet used to be like: parents supporting each other and helping each other out. Now there is far too much gaslighting and tearing people down. And to get the support and helpful advice you have to scroll through the crap to find it.

@Maryahadaballtoday I hope you come back and see the link Salumthecat posted. I think you’ll find it helpful and connected with parents who understand and have been through what you’re going through now.

It’s interesting there was a post made about this over 10 years ago with a similar issue.

Not one mention of anyone being neurodivergent and it was quite a common issue. Also the people who felt frustrated over their child talking in a baby voice received sympathy and understanding rather then being told that they are impatient or like one pp on this thread told they must not like their daughter.

I used to talk in an American accent at a similar age because it annoyed my dad, I found it funny seeing him get so frustrated and sometimes he’d mimic me or do an American accent himself which I found hilarious, he’d storm about the living room red in the face repeating lines off friends when I was watching it 😂.
I did it for so long it became a habit and I struggled to stop when I actually wanted to.

I got my comeuppance when my niece did the same at 12 and I realised how annoying it was, I used to have to walk away from her and in the end told her I wasn’t looking after her until she spoke properly. She didn’t even know she was doing it but got so fed up of being constantly corrected she made a conscious effort to stop.

I have a friend in her 40s who talks in a baby voice and it drove me so crazy I actually created a thread on here for advice dealing with it. I showed her it in the end! She still does it sometimes but just to wind me up and we both laugh about it now.

I’m neurodivergent and make stupid noises sometimes without realising, it’s usually just when I’m at home with DP though and he’s used to it. I heard a member of staff at the gym doing similar the other night when he was coming into the car park and didn’t realise I was there. He’s also ND so we had a little bonding chat over it 😂.

There is something about someone talking in a fake voice or copying a different accent that winds some people up. It’s grating and hard to deal with and it doesn’t matter if they are an adult or a child.

If you do come back OP there are some good suggestions on this old thread I’ve linked.

For the people offended by the “broken home” comment, as a pp said, it was likely to stop the questions about if parents are still together or if their are stepparents or siblings or parents are getting divorced.
I can see why the term might be offensive but people do use that phrase for families where parents have separated or blended. If a phrase isn’t intended to offend then it’s pointless wasting time being offended. If it’s harmful in some way like racist or ablest then point it out and educate nicely, if not then just see it how it was intended and move past it.
8 year old talking in a baby voice

@Maryahadaballtoday My dd went through a phase like this and it is very annoying. I followed expert advice to ignore the baby talk and give lots of attention for desired behaviours.

But, what really worked for me was that when she spoke in her baby voice I mirrored her and spoke to her in a baby voice. She didn’t like it and told me to stop using that voice because it was annoying. I said yes it is annoying and when you speak in a baby voice other people find it annoying too. Any time she spoke in a baby voice I mirrored her and she stopped. She doesn’t do it anymore thank goodness.

Typically developing children with no additional issues have not seen 3 psychiatrists by the time they are 8 or 9. There is something more going on than just baby talk. I’d be trying a specialist child psychologist.

Maybe your child has intuited that something is wrong?

Children who are bright and tuned in to parents (especially am only child who has no siblings to take their attention) can often sense when something is up.

They don't always respond by thinking, "I'll be extra mature, helpful, and quiet, and not give mum and dad any more stress than they're already dealing with" They sometimes try to deflect the worry by providing a diversion. Or they seek reassurance that regardless of what's on mum and dad's minds, they are still going to be looked after.

I think you're looking at this all wrong. Sorry to be blunt.

Haha sorry that made me giggle

I’ve got a family member who started doing this, it gets on everyone’s tits. Bad news is she’s now in her 50s.

I would ignore it, and by that I mean ignore the baby voice but listen to what she is saying. My older children both reverted to baby voices in phases. Both for different reasons - my son does it when he’s stressed. Is she worried about school going back? Or you mentioned a fall out with friends?

I think she’s probably just communicating her distress about something.

I once met a friend`s sister on a lunch break that spoke and acted like bridget jones or thought she did my friend was dieing inside i was cringing.
We left as we had to get back to work although that was a lie we only done half day we couldent sit any longer.
So its not just children that do it.

Haha. Did she do the Liam walk?