Daughter refusing to speak normally

Hi, I get that you are at the end of your tether and this comes across in your messages; you sound fed up and you needed space from her and locked the door to get it. I’ve been there at the end of my tether and needed space and when that’s happened my child has become more upset and more “baby-like”. It was a time I felt disconnected from them.

I’m trying to put myself in her shoes…. She started talking in a baby voice for whatever reason (regressing; fearful of going into year 4; wanting to see what the response would be; just pretending to be little again?) and then I wonder if your response actually reinforced it and now she is DIGGING her heels in!

If I were you, I think I’d go with it and have a play! Try to connect with her without expectation. Quit worrying about what will happen in the future, get rid of the tension and go with it.

Talk to her about what it was like when she was 3 and the funny and sweet way she used to say things, read the stories she used to love, look together at photos from when she was 3 and reminisce about fun times! Tell her what you used to do together, her favourite things back then; what you loved (love) about her… NOT with the intention of getting rid of the baby talk, just taking a deep dive into it together to see if you can get that connection back.

People may scoff and think that is a terrible idea, but that’s what I would do!

Awful isn't it?

What does having been from a broken home got to do with anything? My son is from a 'broken home' and has no social issues at all thanks.

My 12 year old has taken to talking in a Scouse accent 🤷 I just ignore it. The best way is always to ignore it. My 6 year old tries the baby voice now and again, I ignore that too 🤣

OP - again - when you’ve sat down and had a discussion about this with her, what does she say she likes about baby talk, what are her reasons for doing it?

And is there any other behaviour she’s doing which seems like a regression?

I am utterly intrigued how you have managed to get her assessed by three psychiatrists for a bit of baby talk.
wish I lived where you live as it took over a decade to get DS with far more complex behaviours assessed by just one appropriate medical professional.

My then 11 year old did this in the first lockdown but with an Australian accent. God it was annoying. I’m quite mean so just told her it was really annoying and I would leave the room if she kept doing it. It wore off.

Autism isn't a get out of jail free card for normal childish misbehaviour. Sometimes the behaviour is just them being naughty/childish/silly and needs addressing as such.

I think you need to open your mind OP. Your dd could be ND - none of the professionals you mentioned there are able to asses and diagnose this. Speech regression can be a big part of autism. Your 2 nephews can be totally different to your dd as every single person with autism is different. I would get the ball rolling for assessment tbh.

Perhaps by getting so ‘upset’ reacting to it and going off crying is why she continues. Just get on with your day don’t engage unless she can ask/speak in a normal way. I have a son with autism and 3 other children and my patience is tested daily with one thing or another it’s tough.

I feel you are giving this a lot of attention that she probably enjoys and perhaps craves, I get it must be irritating but she’s a child she needs love, care and understanding, my kids are back to school so I’ve had 6 weeks of full on behaviour my youngest repeats himself constantly. You’re going to need to find a way to cope with it, without losing the rag. She’s 8!!

Dreadful advice. Something is clearly troubling this little 8 year old, she needs comforting and compassion, not harsh treatment.

Dramatic parents often raise dramatic children. The OPs daughter will almost certainly grow out of this phase when she goes back to school, and is with other children and (hopefully) a no-nonsense teacher.

If she doesn't grow out of it, perhaps take her back to one of the three psychiatrists and ask for another assessment.

I'm not the one complaining about children being childish at the very least. How ridiculous.

She can see she's getting a reaction from you and that may be her (unconscious) motivation. If you can be bright and breezy and not react at all, that might be enough for her to realise she won't get attention this way.

But (and it's a huge but) something serious must be going on if she has seen 3 psychiatrists. So the baby talk may be the tip of the iceberg. What was the reason she was referred for psychiatric care?

No other context is needed, you never said sounds like at all.

This sounds incredibly irritating.

I would go with the previous suggestions to treat her like a baby then, so treats, baby friendly food and milk only ‘babies aren’t allowed chocolate’. No screens, no bike, no scooter, no trampoline park or any of the other things that big girls get to do…

@Foxxo Reported

Does she get a lot of positive attention from
you, and time spent together? You speak about her quite contemptuously, I wonder whether this is what gets her attention from you so she is persisting with it.

As others have said above, in the absence of further info about the psychiatrists, it sounds typical of a phase that a lot of children go through at this age. She’s role playing, and maybe mulling over how she feels about growing up. I get that it’s annoying but it’s not that unusual and she’s not a mini-adult so shouldn’t be expected to behave as such.

Another one who doesn't understand why this is such a huge deal? All mine go through cycles of talking weird (baby talk, or American youtuber, or some other nonsense they've picked up at school and don't even know where it's come from!)

Love the kid you've got, not the one you wish you had etc (even if the one you've got is kinda annoying 🤣)

It sounds like she is attention seeking. Maybe she feels like she got more attention and cuddles etc from you when she was a baby? I would ignore her but spend quality time with her, maybe doing some things feel grown up like cooking something together "it's nice that you're old enough to do things like this with me now" etc.
Has anything changed in her life recently? Could she be acting like a baby because she feels like that time in her life was safer?
It might be just the way you've written it but it does sound like you're quite critical of your DD, do you actually like spending time with her?

Did you mean to be so rude?
How childish.

Nice cropping out of the context in which I said that! 🤣 You know everyone can read what I wrote, right?!

Please don’t over think it.
It’s probably a phase. She’s probably bored, so winding you up for some entertainment.

Not long to go now until she’s back at school.

We’ve had a bit of this over this summer (bundled with a whole heap of bedtime anxiety!) Same age, going into yr5 and I think is worried about the change and needing to be ‘grown up’.
We’ve flat out ignored it/repeated over and over that we don’t understand when she speaks like that. It’s mostly stopped now and she’s never done it with other people.
Sleep is still a PITA!