Daughter refusing to speak normally

What is she like if she has a friend round? Does she do it then?

She is obviously gaining some comfort from it so I wouldn’t make a massive deal out of it. I would tell her that it is best not to do it with friends and people outside the family because it can be really irritating, but it is fine at home. It will probably pass quicker if you don’t fight it. It may not be the cause of her friendship issues and could actually be because of problems with friends.

There’s nothing bothering her, she’s just being difficult

Something is bothering her. You cannot put adult expectations of behaviour onto a developing child. Others here have pointed out that children fo pick up on something going on and you have rejected that. You shouldn't scold for tantrums, either. Children are not fully developed adults with the ability to process events and emotions as adults. Best to talk with her about what is wrong and try to help her try to verbalize it.

It's tough. I know. You have a lot on your plate atm🩷

Our autistic daughter does this. If it's got to the point where other children are avoiding her then it sounds like she's got some social struggles. Most children who are just choosing to mess around would stop at that point.

If you have 2 nephews that are ND then it's in the family. That info changed everything for me and I'd bet anything she's ND (Asperger's in old money) and that that will become more obvious as she heads towards secondary school age. The same happened with mine who was diagnosed at 11 and then really struggled at secondary after having a fairly smooth time at primary school until around Yr 4/5.

Unless the psych's you saw specialised in ASD I wouldn't take their word for it and I definitely wouldn't take a teachers word! How do the teachers explain her baby talk? DS's teachers made him sound perfect in the information they had to fill out! Fortunately he was seen by an ASD specialist and diagnosed in 45 minutes.

Be gentle with her, this isn't the end of the world but it's unusual behaviour that she is doing for some reason. It might actually stem from her already really struggling with friendships at school and regressing to a time when she felt safe and accepted as this is the age when difference in maturity just starts to widen between NT and ND kids.

I would avoid getting so angry or so upset or just ignoring her, just gently encourage her to ask properly. I feel really sorry for tbh.

Mine did that at around age 8, more of a baby's voice that using babyish speech, so sort of soft and a bit whiny with the odd "baby" word. It really annoyed me and I did my best to ignore it. They did it at school too until their teacher said they were too grown up and clever to talk like that. I reinforced this at home along with quite a bit of gritted teeth ignoring. Never got to the bottom of why they did it, I did try to explore if anything was troubling them but nothing ever came to light. Wonder if it is a reaction to feeling a bit worried about growing up?

How do you know? She could just be acting out? It does happen!

My 7 year old does this on occasion... If she wants to be a baby, that's fine, but babies don't get screens, or children's toys, or invited to parties etc. Never lasts too long! But it sets my teeth on edge too 😉

My 5yo son started this when his little sister started learning to talk. He would start with the whiny baby voice and it drove me up the wall. We refused to respond to it and just said 'I don't understand baby talk'. On occasion he still tries it 'can I have my bot bot' (water bottle) and I'll just ignore. Kids can be so irritating hahahaa

Can you tell us more about this?

You say she is usually as good as gold and this is quite new. But you have had her to 3 psychiatrists and discussed the possibility of autism with the school. Is that all over this baby talk? How long has it been going on?

Or is there other issues that have led to you speak to the school and seek psychiatrists?

Does she watch YouTube? There is a family on there and one of the girls talks like this. She could be mimicking her.

They're called the McFive Circus and are very popular but the middle kid speaks just like this.

Because she might be picking up on you two being stressed out about it? And she reverts to baby talk in order to be reassured. Can you not indulge her? The baby talk in itself is not a problem, it's why she needs it that's important. So "play" with her. Treat her like a baby until she feels secure enough to be a big girl. Don't get stressed and cry about it. I have seen many children do this when they need comfort. But since you isolate yourself because you can't stand it she is not getting the comforting that she needs and she will go on. Please indulge her, do the role play with her, she needs it.

What kind of vague answer? I would attempt to deep dive it with her even if she is speaking in a baby voice. Maybe just say that you want to understand.

Her baby talk has got so bad none of her friends have wanted to spend time all summer

This sounds pretty extreme though and you need to elaborate. Considering she's 8, she probably doesn't have her own phone to communicate with. So have friends actively backed away from play dates because of the baby talk? Have other parents mentioned it to you? Or is it from your own perception that her friends don't want to spend time with her?

Most kids won't do anything that will ostracise them from their peers. Even ND children learn to mask their behaviour if they feel they are being excluded. It would be quite odd for a child to persist with something that is clearly leading to social exclusion.

Though having said that, there are plenty of grown female adults who baby talk without even realising it. There's one Youtuber who appears "normal" (not ND or in a DDLG relationship) but always switches to baby speak with her partner (ickle, wike, booboo, dindins) and it's insufferable to watch.

Ah yes it's known as the 'Australian Question Inclination' became trendy in the early 2010s and made my ears bleed.

My eldest went through this (very long) phase. Every time he spoke to me in a whiny baby voice I just said I don’t understand you when you talk like that. If he kept doing it, I’d walk away and say if you want to talk to me you can come find me when you find your big boy voice. It was tough especially the pretend tantrums. This went on for a couple of years but he’s ND so hopefully it won’t last as long with your daughter.

Because if a child doesn’t have a story about what has happened, then they may invent something in their mind that is MUCH worse.

I would tell my child this but in an age appropriate way, as best I could. I don’t know, something like, “you might have noticed that me and your dad are a bit stressed out; this is because dad doesn’t have a job anymore. He might have some time off for a little bit and then he’ll have a job again. It will be okay”.

otherwise she’ll hear snippets of conversations; pick up on a tone and won’t have a clue what’s going on!

Nobody has 'upset' me besides a couple of posters making ableist comments about Autism.

What has annoyed me and multiple other posters however, is the "broken home" disclaimer given in the OP, followed by it changing twice from this child having been seen by "a child psychologist' to her having letters from three separate psychiatrists AND teachers all declaring this child neurotypical. Even though neither can declare such a thing. That doesn't strike you as anti-Autism/ableism? We have to fight this kind of crap regularly. When my DD was diagnosed, my cousin's wife sent a condolence card! They walk amongst us!

My 10 year old does this. I just ignore it. I am certain he will grow out of it

Sorry if I've missed it OP, but this is a very relevant question and I can't see the answer.

Have you really had your DD seen by three psychiatrists just because she's been doing a bit of annoying baby talking recently?

Or was there another reason?