Does your dh let you choose decor?

Methinks the lady (man in this case) doth protest too much about the pink and frilly things.
Have you asked him why he has such a strong urge to surround himself with manly things? One might assume he is afraid of his feminine side.

Actually have you asked him why he's such a knob?

We negotiate. He has brought colour into my life; I brought soft furnishings into his. He is still not over the 15 tester shades of off white I once debated for weeks- before going and buying a totally random shade.... of off white.

Is it just decor that he controls?

I’d have to divorce my husband if he picked our interiors. I allow him editing rights on purchases over 3k.

DH isn't interested, I just choose what I like, he says he would get used to it anyway

I don't get him involved otherwise we'd still have floral borders and dado rails

No "let" involved. I tell DP what we're having down to the paint colour and then hand the decorating project over to him to buy the paint and do the work.

I will buy all the soft furnishings etc. He has no say in it as he has no interest. It took him 3 months to notice we had new bedroom curtains once and he has yet to notice the painting I hung in the bathroom weeks ago. I actually have a bet running with a friend who knows him well as to when he will actually notice it.

I have an interest in interior design and DH wasn’t bothered so I’ve always taken the lead . However he likes what I choose and if he didn’t, I would go for something else. Do you like his style? If you don’t, then he needs to listen up!

We do it together because its OUR home.

I know awful

Your husband's attitude is not normal and not ok.

I'm my house DH doesn't really give a shit about what things look like, is very frugal and would happily live in student squalour, which does make decorating tricky.

So how it works for us is that I come with a plan and bring it to DH. He will then point out lots of things I haven't thought about, and also make practical logical points about how he wants to use the room/what needs to be stored there/what I love that he can't stand etc which put a damper on my creativity. I take those into account and redo my plans in a way that we are both happy with. I then do most of the wallpaper/paint/tiles/shopping/contacting tradespeople etc, but he is charge of assembling flapjack furniture.

I mainly decide on what we do, but if DH really didn’t like it then we compromise. He doesn’t get much of a say on cushions, curtains or bedding because I go out and buy them when he’s at work. He pays that much attention that we had a new rug in the living room for 11days before he noticed.

I absolutely wouldn’t live with anyone who told me what I could and couldn’t have in my own home.

This in spades.

Exactly.

Dh tends to give me free reign. If he really dislikes something, he will say and we'll come to a compromise, but generally he's happy when I make suggestions. He is colour blind, so finds it really hard to visualise colour schemes anyway. If I buy (small) things without consulting him first, he might take a while to come round, but he generally does. In fact, last week when I said I think we should replace our mantel clock for something that fits better with the newly decorated room, he was upset because he 'really lives' the one we have at the moment. The one that he hated for about six months when I bought it on impulse a few years back!
OP, if my husband just went ahead and repainted a wall, or returned something I had bought to the extent you say yours does, there is no way we would still be married. Your H has a complete disregard for your opinions and feelings. That is not good.

Theres nothing stopping me redecorating by painting all the walls in luminous.orange with purple spots and lume freen squiggles, but I wouldn't because DH would hate it. But he'd compromise on having bright accessories and/or a loud utility room. Because generally speaking we like each other.

I've experienced this too, OP. It's called being in a controlling relationship.

True enough. This pink and blue division sounds like baby clothes.

You seem very compliant . . . Not sure I could be married to someone who had so little regard for my opinions/ feelings.

My DH and I discuss decor and furnishings and often end up compromising as we have very different tastes.

I don’t understand this binary between two options of blue = masculine and pink and cushions = feminine.

There are many colours in this world , there are many styles of home decor. I’ve never actually heard of decorating styles divided by gender, they are usually things like English Country house, boho, Indian , Japanese / orientalist , minimalist . People of all genders and none seem to like all of these styles.

Not all couples have the same taste but they usually compromise in some way. It’s very odd that you and your partner don’t do this @sunnymountains . Are you able to compromise on other things ?

We pick things together, well normally I will choose things and if he hates it he will tell ma and we’ll find something we both like…compromise.

OP there's nothing remotely OK about him being the only person allowed to make a decision about decor, and I'd imagine that this isn't the only area of your life that he's dominating. This smacks very strongly of being a control freak. Your home should be a reflection of both of you. How do you even begin to relax in his environment? Do you feel comfortable there?

DH and I choose equally - and are both happy to compromise at times. It does help that I work in interiors, but he gets a say too as it's both of our home.

He sounds extremely controlling. He doesn't push the buggy? what's he good for? Awful man. remind him it's your home too and you want input, otherwise you're happy to separate and divide up the house.

Blimey, I can't imagine being in such an abusive relationship. Sorry OP but that is not normal.

DH and I have fairly similar tastes but where we don't, we generally compromise graciously. I dislike the dining chairs whereas he loves them (they came from a relative on his side). He doesn't like my choice of bathroom floor but doesn't grumble about it. Isn't that how normal relationships work?

Love, you need your own place, by the sounds of it.