Does your dh let you choose decor?

I agree with this. Your updates are rather chilling.

OP, you are absolutely in an abusive relationship as are your poor children.
Get advice and get out.
Life is too short.

It's unusual. My DH likes to choose to but he's getting frustrated with me not caring. I just say "looks nice" to anything because I don't really care and he's got good taste. If he asked about painting our walls Pink I would put my foot down though. I'm neither 5 y old nor Katie Price and our sons wouldnt like it either.

a lifetime?

I once surprised DP by having a downstairs toilet installed while he was at work.

Happy days.

We just bought a new house and I'm in charge of design, but he knows my style and it's very neutral. Early on in our relationship we agreed together

@sunnymountains I have spoken to him about it and he says I need to speak up more but in reality when I do speak up he still thinks he knows best.

Have you tried ' speaking up more' - very forcefully!

Saying something like ' you chose last time, so I'm choosing this time. We have different tastes. I don't always like what you like and you don't always like what I like, You always get the final say and I'm fed up with it, - so you're just going to have to learn how to compromise. Because I don't want to live like this any more'
........... and repeat ..... and repeat ..... and repeat. And mean it!
Stand your ground!
He sounds like he's always used to getting his own way - let him know that life just doesn't work like that when you're in a relationship.

Also if anything I persuaded him to buy should possibly go wrong then I get I told you not to buy bla bla but you insisted and now look, why didn't you just listen to me?
Roll your eyes and ignore! There's nothing wrong with making mistakes - we've all done it!

Help him to stop being such a dick! 😂

He sounds utterly controlling and unhinged.
This is not normal.
That you tolerated it and had children with him is also not normal.
It is very very passive.
You are clearly not allowed any voice in your own home, which is abusive.
Call Womens aid and see what they say.
You deserve better.

I'd be telling him to fuck right off and paint the whole house pink.

My ex didn't and I always felt our home wasn't "my home" just his.

I’ve honestly never heard of this OP.

I know many couples where one chooses the majority of decor because they aren’t bothered about it.
But if they wanted to something in their Ken home then they would be allowed it because it’s their home!

Many couples have joint decisions.

For example the pram, this would have been a joint decision.
If you couldn’t agree then you would keep looking until you were both happy.

OP you are not a child.
You are a grown adult and this is just as much your home as his.

Why are you allowing this?

What are his redeeming qualities and why did you enter into a relationship with him? You've got much bigger issues going on here.

My dh is interested in decor, his taste is much more muted and he prefers to add colour accents with cushions etc. I love colour and am not afraid to be much more bold. I took the lead upstairs when decorating the children's bedrooms and he took the lead downstairs. We talk and both have the option to veto.

This.

We choose big things like furniture, paint colour or wallpaper togethe. I will usually choose cushions, curtains and bedding because DH isn't that bothered. He usually likes what I choose but if he hated something I would return it.

“Go wrong”?
“Go wrong” in what way? The only way that decor can “go wrong” is when a person decides they don’t like looking at it. Surprise surprise he agrees then changes his mind and uses it against you. He’s a controlling arsehole.

Dh didn’t see the last two houses we bought until the day we moved in. He would have no interest at all in choosing a duvet cover or curtains. He likes minimalist, no clutter although he suffers my cat trees, pen, dogs bed etc and I try to keep things uncluttered. We both respect each other’s opinions. Are you happy with your dh OP?

Yes, if I bought a small ornament and my OH took it back to the shop and exchanged it for something he liked, I’d think he’d crossed a line. Far too controlling 🚩

My DH ‘let’s’ me choose all the colours, styles etc, I ‘let’ him do all the decorating…🤣🤣

My dh doesn't even know where the mugs or spoons are. Some might think that's strange.. but it suits me fine. I am home all the time as I woke from home and I do 100% of house work. So I just choose what goes where. To be fair he wouldn't notice If I painted the whole house orange I think.

'let'?

Its MY house (current house was mine and DH moved in, house we are buying will be with MY money from MY house sale)

Its MY money (we have separate bank accounts)

& thus MY house is decorated with MY stuff however I like it.

DH wouldn't dare try to tell me what I can and can't do. I do talk to him about big things in life like housing stuff though because hes my best friend and the person I bounce off.

My husband and I agreed on all the decorating in the house. The downstairs bathroom is sort of orchid purple and the family room has shelves with my doll collection on them. He put up the shelves for the dolls. Other parts of the house have beige or blue walls; the kid’s rooms have blue-flowered wallpaper and green-and-cream-striped wallpaper.

I did wonder if the doll display might be “a bridge too far,” but he didn’t care. I bought him the posters that are in his home office because I do most of the shopping and knew he likes Van Gogh and Dune.

Hmm, this has been on my mind recently! I moved into the house my husband bought with his ex. He likes plain and non-patterned, I LOVE color and pattern. He'll grudgingly let me paint a room then say how nice it looks and I want to throttle him!

The battle at the moment is a rotting deck at the. End of the garden which could be such a beautiful patio with a pergola and flower bed...he's really digging his heels in for no apparent reason and I resent him for it. Especially as he got a big piece of landscaping done without reference to me which totally fucked up a week off I had from work and trashed all the spring flowers. I don't want to pick the big fight that's brewing over it because I think it could actually break us.

Mine doesn’t give a shit and leaves it all to me. I’d love for it to be more collaborative but he’s just not fussed. Your husband sounds quite domineering and unreasonable tbh.

Has everyone noticed that even if she does buy something he removes it?