Does your dh let you choose decor?

This is not a cushion issue then - it’s much bigger than that.

She hasn't come back for 4 days so I guess we'll never know how it's going.

I hope you don't mean SAHMs should have less say in this kind of thing?

You shouldn't be being 'let' to do anything. You just need to say 'I've decided to customize - whichever room you choose - to be more 'ME', hope you like it!

You wouldn't say that if you had any idea of how bad my husband's tastes are. He has a room in the basement that is entirely his domain. He's used bubble wrap for curtains and is very satisfied with his efforts.

Absolutely the same here, on one hand I can happily have the house however I like but it would be nice if he showed a little interest too, I’ve long since accepted he simply doesn’t care though!

My husband is the opposite he has zero concern or input about the interior to the point nothing would be painted, decorated, repaired, replaced etc unless I sort it. He’ll contribute money but he just doesn’t care about his surroundings and also he knows I quite enjoy keeping my house nice. It’s annoying when I would like his opinion though.

This sounds like a horrible controlling relationship where you’re not allowed to breathe without your husband allowing you. You need to get out of this marriage asap.

OP, I think you misunderstood some replies to your post. ‘LET’ - you are one half of a couple which should be equal. He should have no authority to permit or prevent you from doing something if you wish to do it. If he does prevent you, without discussion, he is a controlling bully.

But what happens with things you are gifted? Does he even realise you need to feel at home there too?

@sunnymountains Have you thought about LETTING him see this post?? I would let him see it just to make him realise how controlling and abhorrent he really is towards you! you dont have to admit that it is your post if you dont want to either! just leave him wondering!

So many posts of the "I just do it" haven't understood that they are the ops DH in the scenario..
Unless your husband specifically says they don't care/don't want to help choose then you really should be incorporating their tastes too.

Well you need to both have a discussion and choose together if you both have opinions on how you want to decorate. And if you're tastes are poles apart then you both need to Compromise. I'd be having a sit down chat with him to explain it's your house too and you should be able to do some stuff in the house just as much as him

^^This

So many of you are spectacularly missing the point.

Wonder where the OP is?

My husband would not want to make any decisions about decor at all. He built a media wall in our house, my design, my measurements and at every stage of the build he told me “it’s gonna look shit” until it was built and plastered. Then we went for paint, told him what colour I liked he shrugged and said “get it, but it’ll look shit”. It was painted, coving and skirting put on and he loved it! Posted pics all over social media of his achievement…!! 🙄🤣

Good point! I bet he's a Leo. They can be control freaks.

We make joint decisions about everything we do in the house.

God don't let him choose anything else!

You need to have a proper conversation about this with him. It doesn't feel like your home...he vetoes your opinions. He sounds so controlling. He needs to hear your feelings on this. What's at the root of this control for him? Controlling folk rarely set out to be controlling, they are controlling something they can control because they can't control something else. That said, If he can't learn to respect you and your opinions...leave. it'll only get worse.

My DH gets controlling when something is stressing him. Once i can get him talking, i can get him to see that the thing is stressing him, and he needs to fix that not control me.

We normally both choose totally different decor, then have to trawl a bunch of shops till we can compromise on something. We so very rarely both like something from the get go.

What a horrible controlling man. He doesn't respect you he thinks your contribution isn't worthy of him. How have you not lost it with him? Have you told he's controlling and this abuse?

This is what we do but unfortunately sometimes it takes SO long to decide we get nothing done!

My dh is colour blind, so leaves it all to me anyway. But even if he wasn’t, there would be no question of ‘letting’!

@AnonAnonEmouse
"Currently renovating a house which Mr Anon would have been happy to paint entirely grey or magnolia. I'm a colour lover so sadly wasted many hours of our lives inspecting virtually identical 'warm' shades as a compromise".

This is where having a colour-blind DH comes in handy,

Sounds like how the decorating works in our houses! I had my cataracts done after he'd painted a huge room and it made the paint look a different, wrong colour. He couldn't face doing it again so got a decorator in. He likes a quiet life.

Yes.. it is unusual, and uncompromising. I would have a problem with that. It should reflect both of your tastes.