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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you be happy with this?

130 replies

Notadoormat4 · 22/08/2024 16:31

DH bought me an expensive present at Christmas. I was very grateful but didn't particularly need it, I get the same equipment from my workplace. Now I need to get it insured in order to use it in the workplace.

I had asked for a few bits that I needed and could've been bought from one shop. Wouldn't have cost more than £30/£40.

He then announced because it was so expensive I wouldn't be receiving any gifts for the next two years for anything - my birthday, Mother's Day, anniversary, Christmas.

We have children.

YABU - he's fine with what he's done
YANBU - he's being incredibly unfair

OP posts:
ChiffandBipper · 22/08/2024 16:45

Odd to say you won't get a mother's day present!! Surely the point of that is that it is a gift from the children, not from him, so that should be entirely separate. He can still get you a present from the children, it doesn't have to be huge or expensive, just thoughtful. A nice book, a new jumper, a pair of gloves, a framed photo whatever.

Hatty65 · 22/08/2024 16:44

Given your update he's a twat.

Hatty65 · 22/08/2024 16:44

I'd be pissed off at him deciding to buy me something expensive I hadn't asked for, and didn't necessarily want. And then telling me I was getting nothing else for 2 years.

I'd probably sell it and keep the money, buying the £40 gift I had actually requested.

Original poster
Notadoormat4 · 22/08/2024 16:44

Sorry forgot to add - he did ask if I wanted this and I said no thank you.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 22/08/2024 16:39

There is no easy answer one way or another really. I could see where if I’d bought DH a very expensive gift or vice versa then we would agree that it was more than just a Christmas present and would also be in place of other presents, because if say it was £1000, that would be how much I’d spend on 2 birthdays & Christmas usually so it would be a case of that’s the present and there won’t be another until X.

It also depends on finances, if money is no issue then it seems petty to say you get nothing else for the next 2 years. If finances are tight then I can see where it’s fair to say “well that cost £x, I’d usually have spent that on 3 or 4 sets of presents so I won’t be able to buy anything else”.

The exception though for me is Mothers Day. You have children, Mothers Day presents are “from” them not him, I’m sure they’ll want to have something to give you. And realistically how much is spent on a bunch of flowers and a bar of choc for Mothers Day? In the grand scheme of things you could have flowers, chocolate and a card for £10. So that one does just seem unnecessarily petty.