To say no when asked if sibling can come to party?

Hence why I said it is a no from me
You can do you. And if everyone bought a sibling it's double the number.

When I did parties at that age I did up little lunch boxes for the correct number of kids with their food in them so there wasn't waste. I also did nice party bags so I wouldn't be forking out another fiver per sibling.

As I said you do you. If you are happy to include extras then do it but don't be a CF and ask others to.

As it is a party at home I'd be inclined to say it was fine. If it was at softplay or somewhere where you have to pay per head I'd likely say no.

If you are expecting parents to stay at the parent then it's probably the parent just trying to work out to the logistics so that her 3 year old doesn't miss the party. You don't have to necessarily give the 5 yr old a party bag etc, but she could enjoy being involved as a helper.

And I wouldn't say 2 weeks out is late rsvp.

I guess it's just how you expect people to behave and what their intentions are but this sounds a fair enough question for the parent to ask.

This seems mad. I would always invite siblings unless it was paid for per person like laser tag or something. As a single mum my two go to all hall or house type parties together and no one has ever said no.

Eh?

Also, (beyond a partner) you can only use your childcare options so many times before it becomes cheeky asking. I’m quite certain someone with a limited support network would prefer not to waste childcare time on the privilege of going to a 3 year olds party whose mum wasn’t even decent enough to let them bring their supervised 5 year old 🤦‍♀️. Honestly I wonder why so many parents struggle to raise kids these days and then I see shit posts like this. It takes a village - glad I don’t live in a lot of yours!

(And for the record I have a full support network - dh plus in laws, parents and sisters within a 5 mile radius and I still think this is shitty and petty)

She looked very sheepish and embarrassed...quite rightly. I didn't bother with her much after that. Looking back I wish I'd invoiced her for the £32! No good deed goes unpunished!

I know. Two weeks out from our birthday parties I've sent invitations, booked a venue/bouncy castle and maybe ordered a cake. Zero thought will have gone into catering or party bags at that stage.

It's not late. People can't always plan things weeks in advance.

I'm just shocked a RSVP for a child's party two weeks out is considered late?! Really?

I always over cater anyway. So I'd be glad it all got eaten.

It's a kids party with a few sandwiches,sausage rolls , crisps and cake. Hardly catering a sit down meal.

It's a no from me. They aren't invited. They are not the same age. The host will be catering for the number she invited including party bags if doing them. I simply don't understand why people have an expectation that siblings can in effect gate crash.

@PurplePetalPip I'm not clear whether you are expecting parents to stay with their children or dropping them and running?

I would expect parents of 3 year olds to stay with them, so that's a different situation than parents dropping them off. If they have asked because they can't get childcare for the older child, that suggests to me that they were intending on staying?

It won't be though. Most people are decent.

I've practically spent more time at children's parties than I have in my own home the past couple of years, I've never known an avalanche of siblings.

@LewishamMumNow so party food and party bags are free now are they? Of course they cost money!

You’re deliberately missing my point.
It might just be one child. It might be 5 or 6 if I make it known that all siblings are welcome.
And you have no idea how much a I budget to spend per child! We have small parties so I can spend what I want on each kid. If I wanted a 20 person party then I’d invite 20 people.

"coughing up a load of money" ? @Smartiepants79
OP is at home - it's one extra child a 5 year old.

But it doesn't involve any money - it's in her house!
And this is not about the kid not liking someone: it's about the Mum having a childcare problem. Isn't mumsnet sympathetic to that?
I think OP is being mean, and why anyone things the Mum is a CF for asking with lengthy notice is beyond me.

WTF is cheeky about asking, and explaining the particular difficulty, with two weeks notice? It's not about "being easier" - she can't. You are only making an exception for a very small number of people who "can't": everyone else is irrelevant.
I'm a single parent. If I'm expected to stay (I'm very happy to leave my child), then I'm bringing the siblings. (NB I would ask, and obviously a "paid activity" eg soft play is different, but by then they are old enough to be left anyway.)
Asking is polite, not cheeky.

I really disagree with this! I think that for parents of multiple young children, if they don't have another parent or child care to watch the sibling what are they supposed to do?
I only have one small child so this isn't an issue I have ever had, but I've always expected siblings at DD parties and catered for them - I'd rather she had a few extra guests than missed one of her friends

This, with bells on.

Some of the posts on this thread are absolute peak Mumsnet.

I get very tired of the assumption on MN that everyone works Mon-Fri. DH is a supermarket manager. He works shifts, which 99.9% of the time include both weekend days.

We don't have any other family nearby, (and bearing in mind DSis is a midwife, who also works weekends, and BIL a highway patrol officer doing likewise, it wouldn't make much difference if they lived on the same street) so I always had to ask when the kids were invited to parties. I always asked in advance, always said there was no pressure, and that it was fine if sibling couldn't be accommodated. It was 50/50 on whether they went, and that was fine - I just needed to know ahead of time. It's not cheeky to ask - it's a fucking necessity for an awful lot of people!

Once the children are old enough to not need the parents staying, it’s cheeky to request to bring another child but when the parents need to stay I think it has got to be seen as necessary sometimes.
finding childcare is not that easy a lot of the time.
surely it’s better to ask that just decline outright if she has no childcare. If you were fine with it (and lots would be) then she would have declined unnecessarily.

It's none of the other guests' business who the OP chooses to include. Period.