To say no when asked if sibling can come to party?

It’s one extra child who is only two years older! IMO you’re worrying about nothing about if would seen mean to say no.

OP is holding a party for 3 year olds with a bouncy castle, why don't you give her your sage advice.

I think it’s cheeky, I’ve had similar recently as my DD is also three soon and we are having a party but it’s at a play centre where I have a maximum number of children I can invite for the price and one of the parents replied and said ‘yes we’d love to, I’ll have his sister with me too- hope that’s ok’ errrr actually it’s not! I just said no 🫣 his sister isn’t my DD’s friend and I want her actual friends there!

Say No. It's not just an extra child it's a much older child, probably physically bigger, who could intimidate, even pick on one of the younger ones. Or she may feel awkward playing with the three year olds, who are just over half her age.

Let them come, it's no big deal.

You've two choices in life - Be kind, or be mean. It's up to you how you want to come across. The 5yr old will be there for a few hours and then the day will be done with, all forgotten, never mentioned again. This is what happens at kids parties. It's not a novelty. Just give the Mum a break - We should all be supporting one another, instead of being a nest of anal vipers.

I'd say yes, in fact I have done when my children were little. I often asked the siblings anyway .

I would say yes to this, especially as its a party at home. If it were a booked venue (eg soft play) with a limit on numbers it might be different. But, as someone who has 3 children I sometimes struggle with childcare. DTs get invited to everything together but I was SO grateful when a nursery mum said ‘feel free to all come to the party’ (a garden party at their house). She might be a single parent or for whatever reason have no one to look after the other child. She might be brash and forward, but she could also be a struggling mum who would appreciate support (me this week).

I totally get the issue if you're a single parent with no-one to look after your 5 yo which would make your 3 yo unable to go but I'm still in camp say no.
For the party host, maybe they need to keep numbers low. Perhaps 'just another sausage roll' will tip over the budget. Maybe the 3 yo birthday girl doesn't get on with older children or gets anxious with children they don't know. Perhaps saying yes to one sibling could set a precedent for more to request to attend. Maybe a 5 yo jumping around the bouncy castle will means it's not as safe for the 3 yos.
I still think (and I don't care what anyone else says or calls me mean or unkind or whatever - because I know I'm not) that it's totally up to you to invite who you want to a party and if you don't want extra siblings, then that's fine.
Are we not allowed to make our own choices about things anymore just in case someone gets upset or a child doesn't get to go to a party.

If youre feeling stressed about this you're probably not a natural host. It feels a bit mean not to allow to allow a 5 year old sibling at your house. It's not as if you have to contact a venue and negotiate extra numbers. Attending a 3 year olds party isn't most parents idea of fun either by the way. So maybe offer them a tea or coffee or glass of water.

As a single parent with more than one child it's pretty annoying when you get an invite which you're expected to stay at the party for rather than drop and go and then not be able to bring a sibling. At age 3 I wouldn't bring comfortable leaving my child at a party with someone I barely know so it doesn't give many options does it

I said no to a sibling attending a party when I booked at a venue with limited availability. The other Mum was rude and sent a nasty message in response to my polite no (which explained it was ticketed and limited by the venue not me), yet still turned up with her daughter and let me know how inconvenient it was. It took her 3 years to be pleasant to me again.

That was my only concern. If the 5 year old DC was a taller child, it could make the bouncy castle very unsafe. You have to be really careful with 3 year olds on a bouncy castle.

Advice is that 3 is too young for bouncy castles anyway. Age/size difference is one of the biggest causes of injury on them.

Particularly when some are really young as their balance is terrible on them. That's why the recommended youngest age is usually 5

Scoff all you want. I'm talking from facts not making shit up

I see your point. I’ve been out of the young children loop for years. But my son, who has 2 DC aged 5 and 3 says the invitations to play centre/Whacky Warehouse type parties are relentless. Recently it was every weekend for 6 weeks.

Who knows - maybe the older child was going to something else that was cancelled. Maybe someone who was going to look after her is ill. Yes if the mother always planned to bring her, and only told you now it's rude, but that's your guess. It's in your house. One more child won't change the dynamic that much or take up that much more room. If the kids are 3, it's perfectly possible that the kid won't be happy staying without the parent, or maybe they can't even manage the loo themselves. I don't think you NEED to say yes (it's your home and your event, you can say no to anyone for any reason or none), but the reasons you've given are not really reasons, they're petty excuses to exclude a child, and possibly your child's friend too.

Not sure lying is the way forward - especially if all the other other kids are only children 😆

Well you can explain the situation and ask if you can join. Some parents may say no but others will say yes. By not asking your child may be missing out unnecessarily.

yes. you can't always go to everything. my DD can't be left alone at parties but she's old enough now that they're all drop off ones. I don't ask if I can tag along, we just don't go.

Seems so mean to refuse. What is she supposed to do? Tell her son he can’t go? I can’t believe some posters are calling her a CF.

I’d say yes. It’s a shame for a kid to miss out because their parent can’t find childcare.

@Iwishicouldflyhigh what are disco straws?

Just say no as you had to turn down other similar requests and it wouldn't be fair. It is CF to ask this as it's not a venue and someone's home.

My husbands works weekends so I often have to ask this question. I couldn't care less though if the parent said no sorry we can't accommodate. But I'd rather ask than say DC isn't available.

Just be honest and say you can't accommodate an extra child.

When your 3 year old gets to school age and is upset by something at play time, would you like an older child to be there to give them a hug and cheer them up?

I would.

Which is why I would say the 5 year old can come and make an extra sandwich/sausage roll.

Your answer reflects the community you want around your child as they grow up - do you want people who restrict the number of people allowed into their life (and therefore exclude your child), or do you want people who are caring and generous?