To say no when asked if sibling can come to party?

Really? How long ago? 3rd birthday parties when I was a kid would mostly be parents and siblings staying with the 2/3yo invitees. My parents have my 4th birthday on VCR and it’s parents and siblings all over the shop - that was the 90s.

No, but it is an afternoon of cheap entertainment and food for your kids.

Saying there's no room for one more does seem a bit of a weak reason when there's not really a number limit (like in a soft play for example) & she might be offended. It's up to you. I'm a people pleaser so I would say yes. 😂 But then I wouldn't care, it's already going to be mad and noisy, what's one more if you can help a fellow mummy out and her 3 year old doesn't get to miss out either.

This is well expressed and true.

I know where you’re coming from OP and I hated it when we had older kids to dc1’s party. But now I can see things from the other end of the telescope: once you have multiple children and if you’re a single mum sometimes your younger child can’t go to a party unless you do this. So I think it would be kind to the mum and dc if you said yes to them: you may find yourself in this situation one day.

I would say yes. She asked so she ain’t the type of cheeky bugger who just turns up and it’s hard when plans fall through or you don’t have local childcare. I always said yes - more the merrier!

I think it's ok to say no siblings.

Be prepared for parents to bring extra children without warning. People will not RSVP and turn up or RSVP and not show.

As my DC are older teenagers, I'm glad parties are behind me. We often had parents bringing a siblings without letting us know in advance. Even if we said in advance that numbers were tight and it was a paid for session.

Tbf I would say it was ok if they are staying to look after them. I would prepare a cake, party bag if Iwas doing them.

As presumably you expect parents to stay with their child I think it would be unkind to say no.
I don't think it's cheeky that she was left it late ti ask as she could have been waiting to see if she could get childcare for her 5 year old.

I think that parents that ask that are CFs for putting that on a parent. Parties are frantic enough without additional children you didn’t invite assuming they are part of the party too.

You could maybe get away with it in a hall but at a home or paid activity absolutely not and certainly not up for random kids grabbing party bags and/or food, that is just rude

Was never a thing years ago but then again parents staying wasn’t as such a thing back then either, that seems to be a fairly recent change in my experience. Even for a party at that age, was drop off and parents would rope in their friends/family members to help with supervising

Also as a reminder, there’s not a single parent bringing their child to the party that actually wants to be there. Children’s parties are tedious AF and there are a million things that parent would rather do.
Therefore she is making an effort for your child and her child to get there. This is not some selfish desperate attempt to get her other child into an amazing party - this is a mum trying to do best by both your kids that is in a childcare bind 🤦‍♀️

Yeah like it’s the bloody Grammys or something…who actually cares!

I wouldn't have thought that one more child is going to make much difference, especially as she's only 4! I'd say it's fine to bring her 🤷‍♀️

It's up to you OP, it's not wrong of her to ask but you'd not be wrong to say no if you so wish.

If the kids are going to be in the same school and friendship groups, I'd worry that my child may be excluded by this same mum at some point to be petty. Also it could be awkward if your child and her child end up really close. If you're worried about others then asking the same you just say "Sorry but we've already said yes to a couple of other additional siblings so we can't accommodate any more"

She is perfectly reasonable to ask, but you are perfectly reasonable to say no, you really can’t cope with additional children. The 3yo will not be traumatised by missing one of the endless run of parties at that age.

This. I dropped my kid off at his pal’s party today, spent some quality time with my 6 year old then picked him up.

Yes I thought this.

The nice polite mum who asked gets kicked off the invite list but anyone who just rocks up will probably be let in - it takes nerves of steel to turn people away at the door.

If you don't have space, you can and can tell them it is the reason.

I think you are being a bit mean. She's explained that she has no other cover - the other kids' siblings obviously have cover.
Also, surprised that you criticised her for providing you with 2 weeks notice. How much notice do you need? It's not a wedding!!

I’ve always felt that if you host a kids party, it’s either a drop off or you allow siblings. If it’s a paid for per child activity it’s of course reasonable to say you won’t pay for siblings, but this is usually older than 3. I’ve had 3 kids and never known anything different IRL.

The mum isn’t a CF, she asked in advance. If you don’t allow drop off or siblings as a rule you exclude the children of single parents and shift workers de facto. Paying for 3h childcare for every children’s party is not a realistic option for most people.

This isn’t directed at you OP, I’m just 😱 at some of the responses on here!

it still rocks my boat people drop off 3 year olds without even thinking to stay. i wouldnt. i think you could say- if mum is happy to stay too to supervise thats ok?
..

Would you mind the child coming along or do you not want them to, do you have real concerns over space? If the answers yes then of course it’s your house/garden you can have who ever you want or don’t want round. Me personally would not turn away a 5 year old. I’ve held parties before and had extra children (due to childcare) and I’ve also asked and taken my child along with sibling to a party. In this case it’s one extra child I don’t see how that would change the dynamic

I love the view of - what if everyone brings a sibling like it’s the party of the year that everyone’s desperate to go to 😂

You might find some just turn up with their other children without even asking.

YABU. Do you think she wants to spend her weekend at a 3 year olds birthday party? (She doesn’t) she’s doing it for your child (& hers a bit too.) What difference is one 5 year old going to make? It’s nice to be nice.